Just a couple of clarifications. I didn't want to make anything out of it, but we're both gay men. Love is love, relationships are relationships. At least that's my feeling. But in this case the rituals are different since it's not clear who should do the chasing, or who should be chased (as it is more clear with the man/woman dynamic). It's confusing.
The other issue is that I think we're both now extra sensitive to making sure things don't fall apart since we both like our private space as introverts, yet we dated two years ago and things just fell apart because of our personalities and some circumstances at the time. I guess we need to strike the right balance. We both played it a little safe/coy the first time. We each made assumptions that the other wasn't that interested, backed off, and totally misread the situation then.
The reason we got together again was that I always had a little sliver of doubt about what had actually happened to begin with. 2 years and probably going on dates with 30 different people later, I was fed up enough to find out. Talking to a friend, I was like "Yeah, there was someone pretty awesome, too bad he didn't like me so much, at least I think so." My friend told me I was stupid and I should just find out.
A whole comical situation ensued in which I sent an email, laying out that I was interested and how I thought he probably wasn't interested and why I thought that.
I was pretty much embarrassed as hell by the whole thing, but he responded very positively to the craziness and was unbelievably supportive and sweet. That in turn made me feel much more safe and comfortable and things have been going pretty great, though also a bit slowly and cautiously, too.
So that's also part of the history of why I get a bit paranoid about making sure things don't just drift and fall apart since I'm sort of sensitized to it now. I think we're probably mostly past that danger, though.