[MBTI General] Those Who Take Offense to Other's Appearance

[xNFJiminy]

An ISTJ I knew once gave a disdainful look to a group of people walking in front of us with a dress style that I don't think exists in the USA, and said 'I hate [people with that style]'. 'Why?' 'They don't CARE how they LOOK'. Haha, I was quite confused about why this was offensive to her, or at all negative, but perhaps it is because high-Si people are so aware of their reactions to sensory information that they believe anyone dressing in a way that affects them negatively is either doing it on purpose, or just inconsiderate.

 

[scantilyclad]

i've noticed that SJs are good at pointing out flaws in people. I have an SJ friend who constantly points out something on me that is flawed..like he is perfect or something. One day he told me that my body was nice, but my face could use work, and then one day he told me that i had a huge nose.
I often get pretty offended by it, because he isn't very attractive at all, but i don't sit around telling him what makes him unattractive. I've noticed that a lot of SJs are really focused on whats on the outside.

 

[prplchknz]

People who get offended by someone who dressed a certain way makes me consider walking around naked, and knocking on every SJ's door that has ever made a negative comment about my appearance.

 

[Athenian200]

People like that always made me consider walking around naked.

And people like you make me glad we have indecent exposure laws. It's one thing to make a statement or be shocking/unusual in what you wear. I don't always like it, but I accept their right to do so. It's another to just be completely gross and go around naked.

 

[prplchknz]

Geez, never said I would. It's kind of my point that they're are worse things in the world then clothes.Besides I kind of think I look ok naked.

 

[runvardh]

All I know is that my dad worked out all the people who don't like his longer-than-shoulder-length hair tend to not pay up when he's done working on their supermarket case freezer. On the other hand, the people who didn't have a problem with his hair always found a way to pay up. Read into that whatever you want.

 

[wildcat]

The types who have criticized my appearance in the past have been SJ the majority of the time from what I gather.

I am male who has in the past let his hair grow out a bit. Why does this offend certain SJ's?

Side Note: I have also been harassed by an ESFJ for my choice of clothes and criticized by an ISFJ. Why do some SJ's think they have the best sense of style?

Or are these just isolated cases? Is there a right way to appear according to the SJ personality?

Be tidy but cheap.
Then you do not offend anybody.

 

[Schizm]

i've noticed that SJs are good at pointing out flaws in people. I have an SJ friend who constantly points out something on me that is flawed..like he is perfect or something. One day he told me that my body was nice, but my face could use work, and then one day he told me that i had a huge nose.
I often get pretty offended by it, because he isn't very attractive at all, but i don't sit around telling him what makes him unattractive. I've noticed that a lot of SJs are really focused on whats on the outside.

The problem with someone who points out flaws in other people lies in the fact that they are not perfect. I had a friend who would always call attention to other people and his perception of their shortcomings. I stopped being friends with him. Who wants to be around someone who will at any moment bring up something you have done in the past that offended them and who can't take it when you point out what they have done to you.

No one is perfect. The idea is completely illogical.

I feel I should point out that I at times become critical of others while I am stressed out. Have learned to understand this aspect of myself and come back to the real problem when it happens. I think this is called self awareness and I think people who lack it prey on other people to project their own flaws.

 

[cafe]

My sister-in-law is an ISFJ and I don't remember her ever making a negative remark about my clothes or appearance, but she is very quick to tell me when I've done something right. She likes my new(-ish) glasses.

 

[Schizm]

Well said Jennifer, I know I'm like this. The best example in my life of this concept is getting drunk and the whole "bar scene." I don't see why people enjoy or even put themselves in the position where they are stupidly drunk. I have been around plenty of people who use alcohol for a good time, and some who use it as an escape. Either way it never ends up well. I've had friends puke everywhere, fall over and blackout, get themselves very sick, and just make poor choices in general. Voluntarily putting myself in a situation like that has no appeal to me. I stay very detached and analytical in those situations. I do drink socially, but in moderation. The worst I've been is pretty tipsy and that was in the company of my close friends...people I know I can trust and will take care of me.

I respect this approach to drinking sociably. Alcohol can be a dependency which prevents the development of social skills. Like you said a coping mechanism. In the past, I would drink to become an extrovert. Now I have no desire for inauthenticity.

 

[miss fortune]

this is all reminding me of a good friend and past roommate (ESTJ) who always kept her clothes fashionable and immaculate. She liked to comment on the fact that I apparently generally appear to be an assassin while wandering about innocently in public (black boots, black tank top, black biker jacket and black sunglasses). Thankfully she never tried to change my mind or take me shopping! (I own a black dog, so black clothes really are the most practical thing to wear!).
My ISFJ mother occasionally asks me when I'm planning on getting a new pair of jeans (when the legs fall off or something equally drastic) or if it's really necissary to show cleavage when fully dressed (yes- if you've got it flaunt it!).
In general I don't get too much criticism though (probably they think I'll assassinate them!). I wouldn't mind taking prplchkz idea and giving up on clothes in the warm months at least though! Then I'd get nothing but praise!

 

[Varelse]

^Awesome. I've dressed like that on occasion...heh, your mother sounds like mine, though mine freaks out on even the hint of cleavage. Not that I have too much to flaunt in that area anyway....

 

[Eve]

Be tidy but cheap.
Then you do not offend anybody.

I decided to do that after years of hearing nasty comments, problem solved.

 

[niffer]

Man, it's not just an SJ thing. Everyone does it.

I don't see how people can wear the same thing every day. It makes things so..monotonous..looking in the mirror every day and going, "Oh, it's *that* again". I need to be able to visually stimulate myself. I mean, if I have to put clothes on, I figure I should at least give that law a little spark of artistic expression. I get to reinvent myself in a small way every day, and I really cherish that. I don't see how it is superficial to want to achieve a "look". It is only superficial if you are offended by those that don't.

 

[CzeCze]

Since this thread seems to be sparking discussion on personal style and I'm very curious to hear more, I took it upon myself to start a new thread -- here:

 

[Colors]

I'm with niffer. We've all got to wear clothes (thanks to mentioned public decency laws)- it is just sometimes more fun to play with it instead. Like a costume you wear every day. I don't really think it's an SJ thing though. I certainly watch what people are wearing. Sometimes they are ridiculously fashionable (saw a girl 30 min ago wearing leggings and a plaid jacket... which was probably showing her butt) and I am amused by their audacity. Sometimes they have perfected a look so well I am awed (the ability to tailor an outfit into a pointed message!). Some people dress to blend in (which also seems to involve some sort of finesse), some for practicality, some to show comraderie. At the end of the day, it is function that is to be met, does it really matter how the function is achieved?

 

[Spartan]

All I know is that my ENTJ dad flips out if he see's anyone with hair maintenance that he considers "improper."
He has told me many times that I look like a homeless man.