User Tag List

Results 1 to 9 of 9

  1. #1

    Default Problems with my ISFJ Partner

    I feel as though there's a great divide in communication between the two of us, that we both want to be together but at the same time we end up bickering over misunderstandings way too much. I don't understand him and he doesn't understand me. I just wish there was a way for the two of us to be together and get a mutual understanding of one another. I also can't help but think it's mainly my fault for not trusting him and not wanting to (in his words not mine) "take a chance" on him, this is my first I guess...serious relationship and while we do have some great times together a lot of the time we both end up fustrated and annoyed.

    ISFJ's help!
    Men are like parking spaces/the good ones are always taken and the ones left are handicapped or to small.

  2. #2
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,209

    Default

    Don't mind the title, it refers to ENTP / ISFJ question:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...tml#post877495
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Why don't you trust him?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4sop
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,505

    Default

    ISFJs are extremely loyal and trustworthy, just like ESFJs. They have high morals and would never manipulate anyone for fun in a very serious, low-self-esteem way. But, they may have their own demons. I am no ISFJ but my roommate is and I know her very well. She herself have self-esteem issues which leads to commitment issues but all she wants is a serious, stable relationship. Find out what his issues/weaknesses/fears are and your own and see if you two can't get to know each other in a raw way, be vulnerable with each other is most important. Just my opinion. What my ISFJ friend wanted from her INTP boyfriend was for him to fight for her and be very certain and confident of their relationship because she wasn't.

  5. #5
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    164

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Synthetic Darkness View Post
    I feel as though there's a great divide in communication between the two of us, that we both want to be together but at the same time we end up bickering over misunderstandings way too much. I don't understand him and he doesn't understand me. I just wish there was a way for the two of us to be together and get a mutual understanding of one another. I also can't help but think it's mainly my fault for not trusting him and not wanting to (in his words not mine) "take a chance" on him, this is my first I guess...serious relationship and while we do have some great times together a lot of the time we both end up fustrated and annoyed.

    ISFJ's help!
    I'm not an ISFJ, but I might be able to help, as I'm in a relationship with one.

    One thing that I've learned was that you need to take deep breaths when you notice yourself getting angry with him. ISFJ's are very loyal to their friends and mates, and the last thing they want to do is hurt you. In fact, they can sometimes be downright offended if you accuse them of trying to manipulate you...so don't do that.

    Me and my SO bicker a lot over what turns out to be misunderstandings, too. If this is the case, stop and realize that what you're getting angry over could be a misunderstanding. Just try to stay calm. And even if you do end up bickering, don't dwell on it. Just let it go and kiss and make up, so to speak. If you guys spend enough time together, you'll get to know one another's quirks.

    Also, ISFJ's do want you to trust them as they realize that trust is an essential part of a relationship. I honestly think NT's have trust issues, but you do need to try. Ask him to be patient with you, but you've got to show an honest effort, too. I'm sure if an ISFJ male had it his way, you'd leap into his arms and be butter. But alas, NT's don't roll that way. It's just another thing you need to teach youself.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,209

    Default

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj1LDgph6PY"]ISFJ and ENTP[/YOUTUBE]
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    1,635

    Default

    I'm not so sure people know what love is, and have very unrealistic expectations for relationships.

    If it's a partner, you're supposed to bicker...argue, fight...not understand each other. It's supposed to be miserable.

    Until one day you reach Nirvana, give up on the petty crap and learn to love another human being no matter what.

  8. #8
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    ITT, awesome make-up sex.

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    ITT, awesome make-up sex.
    True.



    ....as far as the rest, yeah, trust that the ISFJ is probably doing his best to be loyal, true, devoted, and whatnot. They take relational commitments very seriously and expect similar from their mates and while they tend to never quit, they will inside perhaps become very angry when the commitment is not reciprocated.

    early in their relationships, they can become passive-aggressive. Later, they just learn to take responsibility for their own choices and realize not everyone will reciprocate.

    Biggest issue I see is the lack of vision outside the norm. Their tastes tend to be more conventional, and until they get some experience with NTP types, they will get along with them fine on a casual level but in a committed relationship will just not understand why you're doing what you're doing ("why are you acting that way / saying that??"), might take NT cavalier behavior / aloofness personally, and not understand the need for flex and exploration.

    ISFJs generally want things to be stable, secure, and defined. You can see why this might cause conflict with ENTP.

    Quote Originally Posted by slippy
    Until one day you reach Nirvana, give up on the petty crap and learn to love another human being no matter what.
    There you go.
    That's the bottom line in this style of relationship.

    Anything else and it's going to throw sparks.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

Similar Threads

  1. I have a problem with my enneagram.
    By Blanchard in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 10-07-2011, 11:21 AM
  2. [ISFJ] Advice for an ISFJ having problems with an INFP/J?
    By danniebloo in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-22-2010, 07:58 PM
  3. [ISFJ] Problems with my ISFJ best friend :(.... do you know things like these?
    By Halfjillhalfjack in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 02-04-2010, 07:58 AM
  4. Problems with my ISFJ best friend :(.... do you know things like these?
    By Halfjillhalfjack in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-01-2010, 11:39 AM
  5. [ISFJ] Dealing with my partner's ISFJ ex-wife - any tips?
    By clairebbbear in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-09-2009, 06:31 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO