[MBTI General] Perfect J/P balance

[IZthe411]

I think it is expressed in this quote:


"Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".


This was among 40 or so other nuggets of wisdom I received in a chain email. LOL

My girlfriend's a P, I'm a J. She wants more flexibility and spontaneity from me, I want some definition and structure from her.

This screams the need to be balanced in living our lives.



Agree/Disagree? Thoughts?

Do you think it's possible?

 

[Arclight]

I think it is expressed in this quote:


"Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".


This was among 40 or so other nuggets of wisdom I received in a chain email. LOL

My girlfriend's a P, I'm a J. She wants more flexibility and spontaneity from me, I want some definition and structure from her.

This screams the need to be balanced in living our lives.



Agree/Disagree? Thoughts?

Do you think it's possible?

"Hope for the best.. prepare for the worst"... This is kind of the same thing..

I have only seen a few of your posts.. But I can see you are in conflict and not feeling so secure about things..
You should examine it, as you are.. But You have to ask yourself what is really worrying you so much

 

[Saslou]

I used to be a strong J and my ex used to be a P .. And ohhhh, was his actions and not being decisive capable of pissing me off .. Lol .. I laugh now.

The last test i took put me at 52J, 48P .. And oh my gosh does it make a difference now ... I can see my J so much sometimes and then at other times, i love my P .. It is like i have stopped caring so much and it is great that my house can be a mess .. I'll clean it eventually or if i am bored.

Trying to be borderline on it .. Makes a world of difference .. You stop sweating stuff and start living ..

Live and let live darling .. Could be dead tomorrow .. Well hopefully not, but you know what i mean

 

[Oaky]

I think I'm very close to borderline. I've got my relax thing going on and sometimes I keep my options open yet at other times I would quickly decide on the spot.

 

[Totenkindly]

I agree with the OP thought.

I like to think through and plan for the eventualities, to minimize and compensate for risk.
However at some point you just have to let go and then trust your planning and competence at riding things out and MAKING them work no matter what potholes you hit. You can't plan for everything.

If you keep planning during a time for action, your chance for failure increases.
If you just leap into things without adequate preparation, your chance for failure increases.
You have to plan appropriately, then trust yourself and ride the ride.

 

[Moiety]

I think it is expressed in this quote:


"Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".


This was among 40 or so other nuggets of wisdom I received in a chain email. LOL

My girlfriend's a P, I'm a J. She wants more flexibility and spontaneity from me, I want some definition and structure from her.

This screams the need to be balanced in living our lives.



Agree/Disagree? Thoughts?

Do you think it's possible?

Everyone will always use their own flavor but yes balance is possible. Not in the sense that your Jness = Pness, but that you're striking a balance between your natural tendencies and other equally valid alternatives. Obviously you can't still be yourself if your natural tendencies stop guiding you for the most part, but other systems will help you see the flaws in your own.

Even if balance weren't possible it's a good goal to aim for.

 

[IZthe411]

"Hope for the best.. prepare for the worst"... This is kind of the same thing..

I have only seen a few of your posts.. But I can see you are in conflict and not feeling so secure about things..
You should examine it, as you are.. But You have to ask yourself what is really worrying you so much

Conflict? Ehh....

I'm in the process of making the biggest decision in my life, and this statement is so appropriate for me, at this time.

I do know that it's going to take time and work..to figure it all out.

 

[IZthe411]

I agree with the OP thought.

I like to think through and plan for the eventualities, to minimize and compensate for risk.
However at some point you just have to let go and then trust your planning and competence at riding things out and MAKING them work no matter what potholes you hit. You can't plan for everything.

If you keep planning during a time for action, your chance for failure increases.
If you just leap into things without adequate preparation, your chance for failure increases.
You have to plan appropriately, then trust yourself and ride the ride.

Good stuff right there!!

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Being borderline can be tough too.

It stresses me out how messy I can let things get before I freak out and clean like I have OCD.

 

[Arclight]

Conflict? Ehh....

I'm in the process of making the biggest decision in my life, and this statement is so appropriate for me, at this time.

I do know that it's going to take time and work..to figure it all out.

You have Intuition.. even if you are an S.. You have feelings.. even if you are a T.. Balance would be listening and giving value to your weaker functions..
Anything that raises a question about a judgment or perception is your weaker functions trying to be heard..and They ought to be listened to..

Love doesn't ask too many questions.. know what I mean?

 

[Saslou]

I am going to jump the gun here and ask anyway ..

Are you going to propose to her? Or thinking about it?

 

[IZthe411]

You have Intuition.. even if you are an S.. You have feelings.. even if you are a T.. Balance would be listening and giving value to your weaker functions..
Anything that raises a question about a judgment or perception is your weaker functions trying to be heard..and They ought to be listened to..

Love doesn't ask too many questions.. know what I mean?

I agree with you here. It's just easier said and done.
I'll make make a decision, the right decision, in due time.

 

[Polaris]

To be balanced as an individual isn't as pleasant as you might think. Every time I have to make an important decision, I feel a sharp tension, almost like a knife driven into me. I want very much to settle things, and every second only adds to that strain. What I feel tempted to do is ask for more time, but that's just as bad; it makes me feel stupid and robs me of the chance to prepare myself. So I make a decision as soon as possible--maybe within 10 seconds, maybe within a thousand--and then I feel better, but I still keep questioning myself. It isn't the best of both worlds; it's the worst.

As far as how to find balance between two people, I think that can be done fairly easily. There are tasks that can be done spontaneously, and there are tasks that you should plan for. The spontaneous tasks go to Ps and the planned tasks go to Js. The problem, of course, is deciding which task falls into what category. Js will want to plan for things that don't need to be planned, and Ps will want to leave things open that need to be settled. This will lead to tension, for which the only cure is compromise and cooperation.

 

[IZthe411]

I am going to jump the gun here and ask anyway ..

Are you going to propose to her? Or thinking about it?

Yes I'm thinking about it. I think my heart hasn't caught up with my head. I don't feel moved at this point to do it, at the same time there are no signs saying it won't work. I've learned that I set the bar high for myself in terms of planning and cranking out results, but with this love thing, it's a different animal I haven't quite mastered, or really feel I'll ever understand in the sense that I've been able to do with things in the past. It's just taking more time than I thought and that worries me. At the same time when I look at our relationship I've definitely grown in my feelings for her. So it's teaching me patience.

 

[Saslou]

Yes ..

Lets go on facts then ..

Does she mean more to you than anyone else in the world?
If she left you tomorrow, would your world crumble?
Has there been openness and compromise in the relationship?
Can you openly speak to her?
Are your values and long term goals similar?

That will do for now

 

[IZthe411]

Yes ..

Lets go on facts then ..

Does she mean more to you than anyone else in the world?
If she left you tomorrow, would your world crumble?
Has there been openness and compromise in the relationship?
Can you openly speak to her?
Are your values and long term goals similar?

That will do for now

I can say yes to all of those questions, to an extent.

 

[Giggly]

It sounds like you two don't appreciate each other for who you are.

 

[Arclight]

This is troubling

Doubt is not a good foundation to build on..

I hear a lot of doubt..

 

[IZthe411]

We'll be okay.

 

[Little Linguist]

I think it is expressed in this quote:


"Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".


This was among 40 or so other nuggets of wisdom I received in a chain email. LOL

My girlfriend's a P, I'm a J. She wants more flexibility and spontaneity from me, I want some definition and structure from her.

This screams the need to be balanced in living our lives.

Agree/Disagree? Thoughts?

Do you think it's possible?

Yes, it sure is. That's what I do all the time. In fact, hell, I like it so much that I'm going to use it for my new quote. Thanks!