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  1. #11
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I am going to jump the gun here and ask anyway ..

    Are you going to propose to her? Or thinking about it?
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #12
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    You have Intuition.. even if you are an S.. You have feelings.. even if you are a T.. Balance would be listening and giving value to your weaker functions..
    Anything that raises a question about a judgment or perception is your weaker functions trying to be heard..and They ought to be listened to..

    Love doesn't ask too many questions.. know what I mean?
    I agree with you here. It's just easier said and done.
    I'll make make a decision, the right decision, in due time.

  3. #13
    AKA Nunki Polaris's Avatar
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    To be balanced as an individual isn't as pleasant as you might think. Every time I have to make an important decision, I feel a sharp tension, almost like a knife driven into me. I want very much to settle things, and every second only adds to that strain. What I feel tempted to do is ask for more time, but that's just as bad; it makes me feel stupid and robs me of the chance to prepare myself. So I make a decision as soon as possible--maybe within 10 seconds, maybe within a thousand--and then I feel better, but I still keep questioning myself. It isn't the best of both worlds; it's the worst.

    As far as how to find balance between two people, I think that can be done fairly easily. There are tasks that can be done spontaneously, and there are tasks that you should plan for. The spontaneous tasks go to Ps and the planned tasks go to Js. The problem, of course, is deciding which task falls into what category. Js will want to plan for things that don't need to be planned, and Ps will want to leave things open that need to be settled. This will lead to tension, for which the only cure is compromise and cooperation.
    [ Ni > Ti > Fe > Fi > Ne > Te > Si > Se ][ 4w5 sp/sx ][ RLOAI ][ IEI-Ni ]

  4. #14
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I am going to jump the gun here and ask anyway ..

    Are you going to propose to her? Or thinking about it?

    Yes I'm thinking about it. I think my heart hasn't caught up with my head. I don't feel moved at this point to do it, at the same time there are no signs saying it won't work. I've learned that I set the bar high for myself in terms of planning and cranking out results, but with this love thing, it's a different animal I haven't quite mastered, or really feel I'll ever understand in the sense that I've been able to do with things in the past. It's just taking more time than I thought and that worries me. At the same time when I look at our relationship I've definitely grown in my feelings for her. So it's teaching me patience.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Yes ..

    Lets go on facts then ..

    Does she mean more to you than anyone else in the world?
    If she left you tomorrow, would your world crumble?
    Has there been openness and compromise in the relationship?
    Can you openly speak to her?
    Are your values and long term goals similar?

    That will do for now
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #16
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Yes ..

    Lets go on facts then ..

    Does she mean more to you than anyone else in the world?
    If she left you tomorrow, would your world crumble?
    Has there been openness and compromise in the relationship?
    Can you openly speak to her?
    Are your values and long term goals similar?

    That will do for now
    I can say yes to all of those questions, to an extent.

  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    It sounds like you two don't appreciate each other for who you are.

  8. #18
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    This is troubling

    Doubt is not a good foundation to build on..

    I hear a lot of doubt..

  9. #19
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    We'll be okay.

  10. #20
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I think it is expressed in this quote:


    "Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".


    This was among 40 or so other nuggets of wisdom I received in a chain email. LOL

    My girlfriend's a P, I'm a J. She wants more flexibility and spontaneity from me, I want some definition and structure from her.

    This screams the need to be balanced in living our lives.

    Agree/Disagree? Thoughts?

    Do you think it's possible?
    Yes, it sure is. That's what I do all the time. In fact, hell, I like it so much that I'm going to use it for my new quote. Thanks!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

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