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  1. #51
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I am starting to see this priority pattern in SJ and NF. If SJs see themselves as "helpmates," NFs also want to help humanity and inspire people to do good.

    SJs have a small circle of people they feel or think they must help, that is family, relatives, neighbours and old friends. These people are on the top of the list. If there is time or energy left for acquaintances or strangers, well...

    NFs see a greater picture and see family, friends and neighbours as equal to all humans, and empathy draws them to the human beings who are in greatest need, who are suffering the most, and that might not be family. Fot that reason I have seen NFs being accused (inculding myself) by SJs of neglecting family and having bad priorities. I have also seen children or wives/husbands suffering from an NF too busy saving humanity to notice their needs.
    And SJ's don't do that .. Oh please. Stop thinking inside the box, it limits you.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #52
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think Sas, what I've noticed is that the SJs around me are truly devoted to a specific group of people close to them and are better able to prioritize. If they don't have enough to give everyone at that time, they'll take care of their family/close friends first. I've noticed tendancies in NFs I've seen to be drawn to whomever is there and who seem the most urgent even if they're not part of the list of close people. That doesn't always work out so well because they run out of resources and sometimes don't end up meeting the needs of those closest to them.

    In NF cases, as they mature, I think they often do a better job of taking care of those close to them first and seeing how much they have left to reasonably give to others. For mature SJs it seems as they mature, they start looking outside a more limited group of people. Those of course are generalizations, but seem to be trends.

  3. #53
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I think Sas, what I've noticed is that the SJs around me are truly devoted to a specific group of people close to them and are better able to prioritize. If they don't have enough to give everyone at that time, they'll take care of their family/close friends first. I've noticed tendancies in NFs I've seen to be drawn to whomever is there and who seem the most urgent even if they're not part of the list of close people. That doesn't always work out so well because they run out of resources and sometimes don't end up meeting the needs of those closest to them.

    In NF cases, as they mature, I think they often do a better job of taking care of those close to them first and seeing how much they have left to reasonably give to others. For mature SJs it seems as they mature, they start looking outside a more limited group of people. Those of course are generalizations, but seem to be trends.

  4. #54
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I think Sas, what I've noticed is that the SJs around me are truly devoted to a specific group of people close to them and are better able to prioritize. If they don't have enough to give everyone at that time, they'll take care of their family/close friends first. I've noticed tendancies in NFs I've seen to be drawn to whomever is there and who seem the most urgent even if they're not part of the list of close people. That doesn't always work out so well because they run out of resources and sometimes don't end up meeting the needs of those closest to them.

    In NF cases, as they mature, I think they often do a better job of taking care of those close to them first and seeing how much they have left to reasonably give to others. For mature SJs it seems as they mature, they start looking outside a more limited group of people. Those of course are generalizations, but seem to be trends.
    OK .. I am aware i have enough time to fit everyone in, i have never limited who i can help .. I will never push anyone away even if that does come at the cost of burning myself out .. Which i am now aware of .. So in order to combat that i have to give myself some time too. See, i don't think in terms of most urgent, i think everyone ..I was talking to a stranger the other day who was unemployed who wanted to become a probation officer and we only spoke for about 5 mins but he kept on putting obstacles in his way .. The advice i gave him, make the enquiries and when informed with all the information, make a decision. I will squeeze you all in somewhere even if it takes some time. That is what a friend is for afterall or even a stranger with a different approach
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #55
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    See, i don't think in terms of most urgent, i think everyone
    That makes us quite different, actually. And I have seen friction coming from these two perspectives.
    Empathy draws NFs to the most urgent, it's like a magnet, an obligation.

  6. #56
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    OK .. I am aware i have enough time to fit everyone in, i have never limited who i can help .. I will never push anyone away even if that does come at the cost of burning myself out .. Which i am now aware of .. So in order to combat that i have to give myself some time too. See, i don't think in terms of most urgent, i think everyone ..I was talking to a stranger the other day who was unemployed who wanted to become a probation officer and we only spoke for about 5 mins but he kept on putting obstacles in his way .. The advice i gave him, make the enquiries and when informed with all the information, make a decision. I will squeeze you all in somewhere even if it takes some time. That is what a friend is for afterall or even a stranger with a different approach
    You sound like my ESFJ sister.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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