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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Mr? ... I'm a girl. I said I would with someone I know well only (in the case of cuddling, only with family). What dav3 was describing (if you read his linked post) was quite strange. Perhaps those NFs were drunk... ?
    You should have d@v3 clarify what type of NF he is talking about. I dont really know shit about NFs but I could tell you my INFJ friend is far less likely to cuddle than my ENFP friends, which seem to be more the cuddling type.

    Im not even sure if that makes any sense.

  2. #22
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JTG1984 View Post
    You should have d@v3 clarify what type of NF he is talking about. I dont really know shit about NFs but I could tell you my INFJ friend is far less likely to cuddle than my ENFP friends, which seem to be more the cuddling type.

    Im not even sure if that makes any sense.
    INFJs are the coldest NFs, I think. But it's a shell, because we are very warm and loving inside. We're just afraid to freak people out about it because it's so intense.

    Yeah, I have an ENFP friend who likes to hug me and other friends all the time. But then again, we are good friends and we are both girls, so it's not awkward in the way dav3 was describing (opposite sex situation). I've never seen her do what he was talking about.

  3. #23
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    I'm not commenting for the SJs, just adding my four quarters...

    Most NFs, even the NJs put priority on Relationship OVER Object Task.
    Most SJs, even the SFs put priority on Object Task OVER Relationship.

    This is a cannoical order that we follow; when somebody violates that order, we feel distant from that person. I don't care about the laundry as much as I care about going out with my friends...it's really hard to date somebody who cares more about the laundry than socializing, and/or talking about people/community. Object Task serves my Relational Priorities; I'll make a buffet, clean my house from top to bottom, and even make sure my laundry is out of sight, so long as people are coming over.
    Wow, that is so true of my INFP. Amazing. I hadn't ever thought about this before. I think understanding this will help me understand her better.

    One thing we have realized in communicating with each other is that sometimes I do tend to kind of shut down when she starts talking about her intuitive feelings about other people. I've had to explain to her that she shouldn't take that as a sign of my unacceptance of what she's saying. I simply don't have anything to contribute to the conversation because I don't receive and process information in the same way. Usually within my mind I'm trying to find ways to translate what she's saying into a way that I can understand. And if I ask for tangible reasons for what she's saying, I'm not trying to make her look stupid. I'm simply looking for something that I can grasp onto in order to relate to what she's saying.

    NF's really intimidate me in some ways. They seem to always know what is going on within themselves and want to share that with others. I think it's neat.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  4. #24
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JTG1984 View Post
    You should have d@v3 clarify what type of NF he is talking about. I dont really know shit about NFs but I could tell you my INFJ friend is far less likely to cuddle than my ENFP friends, which seem to be more the cuddling type.

    Im not even sure if that makes any sense.
    I'm talking about ENFP's mostly... But I suppose ESFP's, INFP's and ISFP's could also be thrown in there.... because from what I have seen they are just as guilty!
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #25
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrldisquiethere View Post

    The idealism and unpracticality is hard for me to relate to at times.

    However, I have to say that the very things that frustrate me are also things that I admire. They are things that I see as both strength and weaknesses at times, and other times things that I just simply see as differences. However, these things are all ones that I have a very hard time relating to, and often have nothing to say in response because it is just so different from how I am naturally.
    My INFP is very idealistic and can be very unpractical. I agree that this is hard to relate to. It takes practice. I have learned to try not to "fix" when my husband wants to wallow. I have learned instead, to listen and empathize.

    I also agree with tasks first versus people first. My husband would rather leave the house a mess and go hang out with people. My view of the world is "work before play." When the house is clean, we can go play. He has learned that if he pitches in on a regular basis to keep it clean, it is easier to be more "spontaneous" about playing (going to hang out with friends.) I have also learned to compromise and agree to play, if we both agree to pitch in to do the work later.

    NFs and SJs CAN work together. It takes practice and patience and a lot of trying to understand. The strengths and weaknesses can be put together for good. My idealistic husband has great ideas and my practical nature can figure out ways to implement them. You have to become aware of your differences and make them work for you.

  6. #26
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    I need to just have a good cry, and instead of someone just letting me do it they felt awkward and tried offering a lot of solutions when I wasn't in a rational mindset at all to use them.
    Have you ever came out and said that to an STJ whenever they are doing that? I've learned that after I explained it the best way I could to my ISTJ about just LISTENING and not providing solutions when I am in a stressed out mood, he finally got it and is very good with it now. It's like he knows when to provide his problem solving skills and when to just listen to me go all Vent-mode on him. Sometimes he says, "Well, I know you don't want me to give you advice so I am just hear to listen. if you want advice let me know" Sometimes it kills the mood, but it's good to know that he 'gets it' now.

  7. #27
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrldisquiethere View Post
    I also struggle with their inability to be upfront with me sometimes about what they're feeling. ...she will show no sign of being upset with me until all of a sudden she bubbles over.
    Guilty. Although as an E I do usually complain some. But I hate talking about personal frustrations/confrontation, especially if they involve my SO or a friend. Talking about them seems like a waste of time and doesn't accomplish anything. So everything just piles up until (depending on my stress level) I can no longer control myself and get emotional.


    Plus I wish with my INFP that she would commit to plans easier. I'm often in the dark about what is going to happen until the last minute and then I have to force myself to adapt and be flexible to her ideas.
    Lol. I'm the exact opposite of that, probably due to nfJ. It particularly bugs me when I put hours of effort planning every detail of an event and my boss decides the day of to take control and change it all at the last minute and just "wing it".
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    Those who are content being normal lack the depth and passion to rise above mediocracy.
    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Guilty. Although as an E I do usually complain some. But I hate talking about personal frustrations/confrontation, especially if they involve my SO or a friend. Talking about them seems like a waste of time and doesn't accomplish anything. So everything just piles up until (depending on my stress level) I can no longer control myself and get emotional.
    Wow .. Regardless of type, that would drive me insane. As a person who can sense when someone is under stress or unhappy for whatever reason. To keep it bottled up is not productive. Although you may think it is a waste of time and wouldn't accomplish anything, is it better to keep it inside, possibly make yourself sick with worry and over think the situation (which we are all more than capable of doing, lol). At least by bringing it out in the open, it takes away some of the intensity even if it doesn't immediately rectify the situation. Hmmm
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  9. #29
    Senior Member nynesneg's Avatar
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    Well yeah... I do mention the projects which are annoying me to some extent... Sometimes I just get caught up in my own cycle of feeling/thinking/worrying and it's hard to explain. Ie, my current frustration with trying to be a project manager and not getting the results I want from my team, but not wanting to be controlling...
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    To push beyond their natural abilities and create a reality from their dreams.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nynesneg View Post
    Well yeah... I do mention the projects which are annoying me to some extent... Sometimes I just get caught up in my own cycle of feeling/thinking/worrying and it's hard to explain. Ie, my current frustration with trying to be a project manager and not getting the results I want from my team, but not wanting to be controlling...
    Oh, i can imagine .. Crack that whip darling. You show them who's boss .. Lol .. Hmmm, easier said than done, right
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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