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  1. #11
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    The family member I am closest to is INFP and I have a pretty good friend who is ENFJ. They both frustrate me and inspire me.

    The thing that frustrates me is their inability to take things at face value. In my opinion they often assume things about others and when they verbalize these things to me it's hard for me to understand where they come up with it. I want to know tangible reasons they have for assuming these things and it frustrates me to hear them say that it is just a gut feeling that they get or an intuition they experience about someone. Granted, sometimes they are right, but other times they are wrong and it causes a lot of unnecessary hurt for them and the other person involved.

    Sometimes they seem to make judgements on other people and I struggle with that. Especially when that judgement is made on an assumption. And sometimes it seems like they dwell on those things and make it their responsibility to point those things out or worry over them, or sometimes to get involved to try to change that behavior in the other person.

    I also struggle with their inability to be upfront with me sometimes about what they're feeling. At least this is true with the ISFP...she will show no sign of being upset with me until all of a sudden she bubbles over. I understand keeping it inside for awhile because I tend to do that, too, but it always totally catches me off guard because she didn't show ANY signs at all that it was coming.

    Plus I wish with my INFP that she would commit to plans easier. I'm often in the dark about what is going to happen until the last minute and then I have to force myself to adapt and be flexible to her ideas. But this is as much to blame on my SJ'ness as her type. For either of us it requires compromise.

    The idealism and unpracticality is hard for me to relate to at times.

    However, I have to say that the very things that frustrate me are also things that I admire. They are things that I see as both strength and weaknesses at times, and other times things that I just simply see as differences. However, these things are all ones that I have a very hard time relating to, and often have nothing to say in response because it is just so different from how I am naturally.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  2. #12
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Here is a problem I typically have with NF's. Well, I guess it is not a problem, but it is difficult to understand if the NF is trying to hint at a relationship or if the NF is just... being an NF.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...-post2314.html

    To answer your question though, yes, I think NF's and SJ's can work but it takes a lot of time and effort.... and LOTS of patience!
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #13
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    If someone would tell me they are feeling terrible because of something, I'll do whatever I can to help that person over that.

    For an example: If someone says that (s)he's afraid of a presentation (s)he must do tomorrow, I'll try to convincing him/her that it will be easy and that (s)he'll do great. I might even go as far as pointing out the reasons why I believe so.

    I understand that someone might view my attitude as: "Oh, aren't you a cry baby! Get over it!". But I'm just genuinely trying to fix what's the cause of problems. Even though some people would rather just have the sympathy, and fix the problem themselves.
    Actually, I think that's really sweet. I was referring more to some situations I've had where I'm genuinely miserable about something and I need to just have a good cry, and instead of someone just letting me do it they felt awkward and tried offering a lot of solutions when I wasn't in a rational mindset at all to use them.

    Plus I wish with my INFP that she would commit to plans easier. I'm often in the dark about what is going to happen until the last minute and then I have to force myself to adapt and be flexible to her ideas. But this is as much to blame on my SJ'ness as her type. For either of us it requires compromise.

    The idealism and unpracticality is hard for me to relate to at times.
    Guilty as charged. The fact that SJs usually don't do this is something I both envy and fear--fear because I know that when I don't do it, I'll look stupid. We hate this about ourselves though. I remember I once had the biggest crush on this ENFP boy...he'd promised to hang out with me one weekend (which we actually did a lot) but he forgot he had somewhere else to be at the last second. Several hours after cleaning the downstairs of my house, getting ready, and waiting...and waiting...and waiting, I get a call. "I forgot about something else I said I'd do, sorry!"

    Those lousy xNFPs! :steam:
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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  4. #14
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    I'm not commenting for the SJs, just adding my four quarters...

    Most NFs, even the NJs put priority on Relationship OVER Object Task.
    Most SJs, even the SFs put priority on Object Task OVER Relationship.

    This is a cannoical order that we follow; when somebody violates that order, we feel distant from that person. I don't care about the laundry as much as I care about going out with my friends...it's really hard to date somebody who cares more about the laundry than socializing, and/or talking about people/community. Object Task serves my Relational Priorities; I'll make a buffet, clean my house from top to bottom, and even make sure my laundry is out of sight, so long as people are coming over.
    Totally agree.

  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    This is me doing my best SJ impression:

    **Important announcement to the SJ's across the world**

    Please just talk to Bubbles in a free-flowing manner and stop trying to learn things about her and solve her problems!

    Thank you

  6. #16
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Here is a problem I typically have with NF's. Well, I guess it is not a problem, but it is difficult to understand if the NF is trying to hint at a relationship or if the NF is just... being an NF.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...-post2314.html

    To answer your question though, yes, I think NF's and SJ's can work but it takes a lot of time and effort.... and LOTS of patience!

    About that cuddling thing... I would never cuddle or hug out of nowhere like that, especially a person of the opposite sex... Your friends are strange NFs, or very extraverted...
    I need to be very close to a person to do that (family, close friend or long-time colleague) or I'll hug a new friend before leaving to show that I care and would like the friendship to deepen, but never in the manner you have described. !!!
    But then again, I'm INFJ, and we are known to put "the lid on it" (on our emotions).

  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    About that cuddling thing... I would never cuddle or hug out of nowhere like that, especially a person of the opposite sex... Your friends are strange NFs, or very extraverted...
    I need to be very close to a person to do that (family, close friend or long-time colleague) or I'll hug a new friend before leaving to show that I care and would like the friendship to deepen, but never in the manner you have described. !!!
    But then again, I'm INFJ, and we are known to put "the lid on it" (on our emotions).
    Why wouldn't you cuddle, Mr. KLessard?

  8. #18
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    This is me doing my best SJ impression:

    **Important announcement to the SJ's across the world**

    Please just talk to Bubbles in a free-flowing manner and stop trying to learn things about her and solve her problems!

    Thank you
    I luv yooou.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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  9. #19
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Why wouldn't you cuddle, Mr. KLessard?
    Mr? ... I'm a girl. I said I would with someone I know well only (in the case of cuddling, only with family). What dav3 was describing (if you read his linked post) was quite strange. Perhaps those NFs were drunk... ?

  10. #20
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Mr? ... I'm a girl. I said I would with someone I know well only. What dave was describing (if you read his linked post) was quite strange. Perhaps those NFs were drunk... ?
    Oh. I'm sorry.

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