I work with this ESFJ chick. She's really awesome. Got me out of my shell and I'm really glad we are friends. But I'm at a loss of how to comfort her. I feel kind of helpless in giving her advice because everything I say that makes sense to me is something that "she can't do" and I feel like I'm not making anything better.
We both have two jobs. The one we have in common is pretty frustrating. The management is not making good decisions for anyone - staff or patrons or themselves. I put in my two weeks notice. I'm done with it.
She is sticking around but getting super stressed out that they rely on her to keep the place running. I tell her that the place needs her more than she needs them and that she's got the control. If she needs a day off - tell them. Demand it. She says "I can't do that. They need me."
She complains about how this place isn't getting on the ball and hiring people to cover these shifts that she's trying to cover. I tell her again, "If you've already talked to them about it and nothing is happened then force them to realize they need more people. Don't show up when they try to call you in."
She's done a lot for me and is a true friend. However, she's always saying things like, "I try to make everyone else happy. When is it my turn?" But when I tell her to take a day off and tell that job, "Too bad. I'm not coming in. I need a break." She won't do it. I tell her that she's burning herself out and it's not healthy. I don't really know what else to do. Just keep listening? I don't understand why she feels so unhappy and stuck but yet won't DO anything about it. I guess because she's fearful of hurting their feelings but they're not exactly being fair to her. Dunno. Any suggestions from ESFJ's or others on how to be of assistance?