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Thread: ENFP and ISTJ

  1. #11
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    I went on a date with a girl last night that seems pretty ENFP. I finally asked her out a week ago. I've known her for about 10 months. We had talked on the phone twice for an hour at a time before we went to the fair last night. It went pretty well, went from holding hands at the beginning to a couple spontaneous kisses throughout the night and a goodnight kiss. It was really fun going out on a date, but I feel kind of stopped on the mutual interests thing. Whenever I try to invoke Ne and talk in analogies, she's able to quickly catch on and she's able to carry conversations on her own. She's pretty go with the flow.

    I noticed I was quiet a bit throughout the night. I really suck at maintaining conversations. I'm just kind of stuck myself on where to go from here. This whole dating thing is new to me, and we haven't setup a second date yet. I called her tonight and we talked for 15 minutes but didn't set anything up. I guess right now I just need to work on what's appealing about her to me to figure out if this is really worth going into. It's just a lot to suddenly take in. It was my first date ever, at 23, too. I just feel really thrown off right now.

    I'm trying to figure out how I want to handle moving forward right now, especially a second date. I'm just not sure how to go about it yet. Grr, I feel jumbled up emotionally, like a wrench has been thrown into my life. Heh.


  2. #12
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Raz,

    Just ask her to go on the second date. Don't worry too much about purpose and all that other stuff. You know as an ENFP, she's probably more go with the flow and would be happy.

    Don't analyze this to death. Just go, spend more time with her, and you'll figure out the whens, whos, whys, and whats.

  3. #13
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelsinging View Post
    My best mate is ENFP and I can't believe she found an ISTJ boyfriend! They've only known each other for 1 year and they are going to get married soon. They are totally opposite side and I dont like that guy. He is boring but very responsibly.

    Although i am happy but i am also worried about her. I heard ENFP and ISTJ are conflict side. Most of their argument are because the ISTJ are being very controlled.

    Anyone know any stories about ENFP and ISTJ? Will they be happy after married?
    If the ISTJ were brilliant, unique and special, somehow.

    I could see this match working.

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  4. #14
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelsinging View Post
    My best mate is ENFP and I can't believe she found an ISTJ boyfriend! They've only known each other for 1 year and they are going to get married soon. They are totally opposite side and I dont like that guy. He is boring but very responsibly.

    Although i am happy but i am also worried about her. I heard ENFP and ISTJ are conflict side. Most of their argument are because the ISTJ are being very controlled.

    Anyone know any stories about ENFP and ISTJ? Will they be happy after married?
    I am so sorry to say this, but who is marrying the ISTJ, you or your best mate.

    Instead of looking for answers regarding their relationship (if you got a bad response here, would you tell her that in the hope she would call off the marriage and do you really think she would listen to you, probably not) why not be supportive.

    She has to live her life and learn by her mistakes, now i understand why you are asking what you are but how about you be a friend and should the chips fall, then you'll be a true friend and help pick her up when she needs you most.

    She/they may just surprise you and have a very happy marriage. You may not like him but she obviously loves the guy enough to marry him so let her be happy.

    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
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  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    yeah it can work if both people want it 100%.

  6. #16
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Raz,

    Just ask her to go on the second date. Don't worry too much about purpose and all that other stuff. You know as an ENFP, she's probably more go with the flow and would be happy.

    Don't analyze this to death. Just go, spend more time with her, and you'll figure out the whens, whos, whys, and whats.
    Working on that, sir. Easier said than done.


  7. #17
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    Working on that, sir. Easier said than done.

    I feel you man, I'm speaking to you from experience. I'm 31, involved in my first 'serious' relationship. Prior to this I had a job that I worked all types of hours, and in between I had a few 'friends' here and there. She's ISFP, so while we have that S similarity, there are still a lot of challenges. It's been a struggle, but it pays dividends in the end.

    Let us know how it goes!

  8. #18
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I feel you man, I'm speaking to you from experience. I'm 31, involved in my first 'serious' relationship. Prior to this I had a job that I worked all types of hours, and in between I had a few 'friends' here and there. She's ISFP, so while we have that S similarity, there are still a lot of challenges. It's been a struggle, but it pays dividends in the end.

    Let us know how it goes!
    We texted yesterday, but then I tried calling late last night, and left a message when I got her voice mail. I just feel all sorts of messed up right now. I'm trying not to analyze everything, but it's just all so confusing. It's forcing me to face a lot of feelings, new and old. I felt like I had to revisit my point of view on relationships, and it apparently wasn't as solidified as I thought.

    There are just so many gray areas that make me feel so uncomfortable and then just makes me end up being clingy because it's so hard to find that balance between being into someone and having my own life. Sigh. I just want to run away and start crying right now.


  9. #19
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    She/they may just surprise you and have a very happy marriage. You may not like him but she obviously loves the guy enough to marry him so let her be happy.

    [/QUOTE]

    Yes, I think you are right. Maybe i am thinking to much. As long as she is happy everything will be fine.

  10. #20
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Still no call from her. I hope I didn't do something wrong. If I did, I wish I knew what.


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