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  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Feelings!...what's that?
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #12
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Feelings!...what's that?
    Well, I'm assuming "feelings" is when you get rejected yes?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #13
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    It is as has been mentioned, she doesn't mean to, but she just keeps hurting me. She doesn't keep her word, she isn't consistant in her attitude. I show up quite confused after all this, and she's asking me "Did you have a good day?" with a huge smile, and she doesn't understand why I answer no and why I'm sad. I think I've made it very clear to her that I respect her and care about her very much, so why is she always surprised that it hurts me when she's letting me down?
    I wrote her a letter to explain, hopefully, this will take all misunderstandings possible away. (I SPELLED out things for her as clearly as I could.)

  4. #14
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Wait a minute,

    You saying she lets you down because she asks how your day was?
    What does she say when you tell her you are sad?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Wait a minute,

    You saying she lets you down because she asks how your day was?
    What does she say when you tell her you are sad?
    No, after letting me down and not keeping her word, I show up to her and she has this big smile asking if I had a good day. (Seems pretty obvious she ruined my day) - But as i've read elsewhere, ISFJs don't feel empathy.

  6. #16
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    No, after letting me down and not keeping her word, I show up to her and she has this big smile asking if I had a good day. (Seems pretty obvious she ruined my day) - But as i've read elsewhere, ISFJs don't feel empathy.
    Of course they feel empathy, their just a little oblivious. Are you sure she is ISFJ?

    Did she give you a reason why she didn't keep her word?
    Did you have solid plans? As in, you mutually agreed to meet at "X" place at "X" time?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #17
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Of course they feel empathy, their just a little oblivious. Are you sure she is ISFJ?

    Did she give you a reason why she didn't keep her word?
    Did you have solid plans? As in, you mutually agreed to meet at "X" place at "X" time?
    She is oblivious, as you say. Because if you point it out to her, she doesn't understand what you're talking about. So I don't insist, and I'm too crushed to insist.
    She's not 100% J, she has some P (30-40%), but her mental structure is SJ, mainly.

    She doesn't feel empathy. I told her my father had died (we hadn't seen each other in around 9 years) and she had known him. I saw her trying to fake a serious facial expression that would fit, and then proceeded to the I'm sorry thing, with no real appropriate emotion to it. After I explained the whole thing to her, she said: "I can't imagine how I would feel if that happened to my parents."

    It's ok d@v3, I understand the pattern going on inside of her (my mother and brother are SJs), it just saddens me to realize I will never be able to befriend her in the way I hoped (soulfully, as the nfs wish for).

  8. #18
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    It sounds like she is INTJ or ISTJ?

    Anyway, why are you attracted to such a person who cannot "feel"? What do you find attractive about her? Or are you just wanting to be friends with her?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #19
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    It sounds like she is INTJ or ISTJ?

    Anyway, why are you attracted to such a person who cannot "feel"? What do you find attractive about her? Or are you just wanting to be friends with her?
    Yes, I would like to befriend her in a deeper way. I've tried my best at it, but since I'm not on her list of priorities (family, close friends and her community) - and since we live in different provinces, I'm just rarely within reach of her S. For N types, this is not a problem, but for Sensitives, it is.
    She is NOT T at all, she is really ISFJ. She's very kind and sweet, but in this very polite way. It's not deep and honest in the NF way. She is sympathetic, not empathetic. Big difference.

  10. #20
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Listen, does she know- beyond a reasonable doubt- that you are interested in her? Have you TOLD face-to-face, bluntly, that you are interested in her like that? Or is that what you are hoping to accomplish with your letter?

    She may just not understand how much you care for her. The ISFJ I was after said she was "not interested in a relationship right now", even though she was sweet and shy and all that stuff you are talking about.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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