[MBTI General] For ISxJ females....

[AutumnReverie]

I don't have any advice right now, but I just wanted to say...

GOOD LUCK D@V3! Be sure to tell us how it goes, and definitely use the word "date" if you're comfortable with that (or if you want a definite answer as to whether she likes you or not)

I guess I just don't want to make a mistake. ... The thing is, I don't even care that much about it, I just make myself seem like I do. If that makes any sense.

This makes perfect sense to me. Don't worry, you're not alone. I think us (ISTJs) just tend to second-guess ourselves a lot and overthink everything when it comes to romantic interests and trying to figure out how they "feel" about us. It'd be so much easier if people were just direct and blunt with us.

 

[d@v3]

Thanks Autumn.

So, I just came across this post. Do you think it is relevant to this situation? (It's the same girl) It appears to be from February.
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/527898-post250.html

 

[AutumnReverie]

Relevant in what kind of way?

 

[d@v3]

Well, do you think points number 3 and 4 are relevant? Do you think she meant it when she said "of course!" and "nicest guy shes ever met"

I mean, we really do seem to enjoy each others company. I don't think she is faking it...

 

[Eagle]

Yeah, you do stress too much. Chill out, man.

Hahaha, I just told him that in his blog before I looked at this.

I guess I just don't want to make a mistake. ... The thing is, I don't even care that much about it, I just make myself seem like I do. If that makes any sense.

So, does your response mean it doesn't matter what I do next or how I respond to her?

Just make up your mind. It's not Giggly's place to do it for you. You have all the information necessary.

 

[d@v3]

Yeah, I already did.

 

[AutumnReverie]

Yeah, I already did.

You asked her out? She said yes?

 

[d@v3]

What? No. I meant I texted her back already. ...And you never answered my question from post #64! =(

 

[AutumnReverie]

Oh

Well, do you think points number 3 and 4 are relevant? Do you think she meant it when she said "of course!" and "nicest guy shes ever met"

I mean, we really do seem to enjoy each others company. I don't think she is faking it...

...Well, personally, I think "you're the nicest guy ever!" and "of course, I would go out with you otherwise (read: in an alternate universe)!" can sometimes be kind of stock answers to letting someone down easily after they ask you out =(

BUT some people do mean them genuinely. And you know her better than we do, so if you think that she was genuine about it then she probably was. And if she didn't mean it then, it's still been 5 months from that point and you two have gotten to hang out more...maybe she has (stronger) feelings for you now.

 

[d@v3]

Oh


...Well, personally, I think "you're the nicest guy ever!" and "of course, I would go out with you otherwise (read: in an alternate universe)!" can sometimes be kind of stock answers to letting someone down easily after they ask you out =(

So... you think she lied?

BUT some people do mean them genuinely. And you know her better than we do, so if you think that she was genuine about it then she probably was. And if she didn't mean it then, it's still been 5 months from that point and you two have gotten to hang out more...maybe she has (stronger) feelings for you now.

I suppose.

 

[AutumnReverie]

Aw, I hope she didn't lie! Like I said, she could have been genuine...you're the only one who would know, not us. I just wanted to point out that those phrases weren't "sure signs" that she really liked you, especially since she said them immediately after saying "no" to you asking her out.

 

[d@v3]

She texted me back last night and said she thought it would be better if we 'chatted' another night because she was pretty busy.

I just said "okay, talk to you another night. "

 

[AutumnReverie]

Ah, well then you can just try again next weekend

 

[Amira]

I am not tiger!

Hey, it's good to be a tiger sometimes! I am find that it is very important for me to feel like the guy is a bit tigerish - hard to describe, as disrespect would never be tolerated by me, but restrained-but-visible desire is very attractive.

When you talk about finding a girl, I imagine a cute fluffy penguin waddling over to another fluffy penguin asking her if she likes you or not haha.

Autumn, ROFL!

I did read the rest of the thread... all I can say is good luck!

 

[d@v3]

You mean, I have to wait a whole week more? =(

Amira, good luck is an understatement. I need a miracle.

I do not know if I know how to be a tiger.

 

[Amira]

D@v3, that reminds me about my abysmal attempts at flirting - I think once I am MARRIED I will really start to be good at it and probably get better and better at that type of thing my whole life (at least, I intend to). Oh well, ISTJs are not only consistent but I do think we get better at things as time goes by so it'll only go up from here, right? My family would laugh hysterically if they knew I was telling someone to try not to be anxious, so I won't bother. It would be hypocritical. Just realize that if/when she knows you are truly interested in her she might be super nervous too and not know how to react.

 

[d@v3]

Yeah, I'm always anxious. =( I don't even know if I really like this girl. I just want to get to know her a bit more.

 

[d@v3]

She said this weekend she was too busy so maybe another time. *shrug* I told her to call when she wasn't busy (which I'm not very optimistic about). Oh well.

 

[AutumnReverie]

She said this weekend she was too busy so maybe another time. *shrug* I told her to call when she wasn't busy (which I'm not very optimistic about). Oh well.

Aww, why aren't you very optimistic about it? Did she say it in a tone that was disheartening? Because, she genuinely could be busy this weekend. I know that I am really busy this weekend, which is why I purposely didn't make plans with the INFJ and, during the week, I didn't ask him what he was doing this weekend...because I knew that I had a lot to do on both Friday and Saturday night. So, don't give up hope! There's always next weekend.

ETA: I just wanted to say that I completely know how you're "feeling" right now, mostly because reading this thread is like looking in a mirror. If I were you, I probably would be a bit discouraged too and doubt if the person really liked me. But that's just because I over-think these things. Anyways, I just wanted to say that so as to not appear hypocritical. It's much easier to give advice from an outside perspective than to actually be in it and take the advice yourself.

On a side note: I probably would have "told her to call when she wasn't busy" too (it's like a mirror, I say! ) but, in my limited experience so far, I've discovered that it's not the best method to go about making plans. Usually people don't alert others whenever they're not busy, they tell people when they are busy. So, instead of putting the ball in court and expecting her to call whenever available, I would just just casually inquire about what her plans are next weekend (ask, maybe on Wed?). And if she says "oh, I'm not really doing much this weekend" or "oh, no plans yet...how about you?" THEN you can ask her out on a date. This way if she says no, you'll know it's not because she's busy (since she would have already admitted to being free for the weekend).

 

[d@v3]

Yeah..... but I remember what it was like before. She said the same exact thing whenever I would ask her out before. :-/

This all happened over texting so I'm not sure her tone of voice. But if she was really genuinely busy.... she probably would have told me what she was doing and offered up another date, yes?

Also, I see what you are saying about asking on Wednesday, but I don't want to annoy her or waste my time either.