Awww...I looked at your picture...you are too cute!!
I will try to answer some of the questions you asked, but I can't remember them all.
I LOVE a guy who can make me laugh. That is what hooked me in with my husband when we were dating. I was always laughing when I was with him, and laughing denotes a good time to me. Over time, we started to have all these private jokes with each other that I would end up laughing over even when we weren't together.
I like a guy to pursue me. But too much pursuit and I get annoyed. Too little pursuit and I get bored. The whole dating thing is so frustrating and I SO feel your pain. I too, can read your thought process and relate it to mine. Like the others, I would have to tell you to relax a little too. Try to be more confident. And although we ISFJs can definitely tell if someone is being fake, we are also good at sensing whether someone is geniune deep down. The saying "Fake it till you make it" is a good one. I guarantee that she knows that you are genuine. So, if you fake confidence until you actually feel it, I doubt she will see it as you being fake. Some confidence is attractive to me. I don't like arrogance at all, but I like guys who know they have something to offer.
Friendly banter and flirting are great. Although attraction to someone is important physically, personality can definitely overcome physical flaws. My husband and I have been together for over 3 years and we still do the banter -- we make fun of each other and will be antagonistic and playful...and it helps keep the spark going. When I'm dating, I like being teased...and teasing back. I also like someone that I can switch over and have a deep conversation with (like 45 minute ones!!) Someone who is confident enought to tease me is attractive to me. My husband is the nicest guy ever, but he can hold his own in a bantering session or debate and that is attractive to me.
I do believe that a friendship can be lit on fire and become a relationship. My husband and I are best friends. I don't like someone who is easy to get though. I like some mystery. I tend to like quiet guys because even if they aren't mysterious, the apperance of mystery is there.
Try to remember that she's not the only girl out there and keep yourself busy. But, I think it is in your best interest to make it clear that you are interested, if you are. There is such a thing as being TOO nice. Try not to be timid or show fear or nervousness too much. We want to know that you are confident enough to go after what you want.
You have a great personality my friend...and you are adorable...you have EVERY reason to be confident.