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  1. #21
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    How much do you ISxJ's rely on looks vs. personality?

    If you meet a guy and he is very nice and kind and gentleman like, but he is not as handsome as you wish he was, would you still give him a chance?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #22
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    How much do you ISxJ's rely on looks vs. personality?

    If you meet a guy and he is very nice and kind and gentleman like, but he is not as handsome as you wish he was, would you still give him a chance?
    Oh can i answer please .. OK then

    I'll answer your 2nd question first .. Yes, i would give him a chance.

    1st question .. Personality is far more important than looks. Looks fade anyway. (says the 30 yr old who is now single, lol)

    Am i reading to much into this. Are you saying you are not handsome?
    If so, then Mr, i am going to come there and kick your ass personally.
    I've seen your pic's .. You are rugged and handsome.

    If however i have the wrong end of the stick .. Then apologies

    Note - I wouldn't really come and kick your ass .. I would squish you into submission, lol.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #23
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Oh can i answer please .. OK then

    I'll answer your 2nd question first .. Yes, i would give him a chance.

    1st question .. Personality is far more important than looks. Looks fade anyway. (says the 30 yr old who is now single, lol)

    Am i reading to much into this. Are you saying you are not handsome?
    If so, then Mr, i am going to come there and kick your ass personally.
    I've seen your pic's .. You are rugged and handsome.

    If however i have the wrong end of the stick .. Then apologies

    Note - I wouldn't really come and kick your ass .. I would squish you into submission, lol.
    Aww... you did not elaborate much on your answers.

    Rugged? Handsome? Are you sure you remember what I look like? I recently posted a picture in my blog if you are wondering.... and I am wearing a tux- as every penguin should.

    I was going to say! Why would you want to do violence to me? I thought we had something special? (See "SJ quiz" thread )
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #24
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    How much do you ISxJ's rely on looks vs. personality?
    I don't really have a set criteria for the looks department (other than: I would prefer he be taller than me and not overweight), but I do have a set criteria for the personality department. So, I would say my priorities are more with personality than looks. Of course, there still has to be some physical attraction on both sides, but it's not as important to me as his values, belief system, qualities, mutual interests, etc.

    For example: In the past, maybe twice, I have rejected guys who (according to other people) were very very attractive because I didn't feel like they were someone I could see myself marrying (they didn't have the personality qualities I desired). Of course, I'm not superwoman, so I didn't reject their advances right away and was blinded by their looks for a short time. But when it was time to actually make a decision, I chose that those personality qualities were more important to me.

    Also, in the past, maybe twice, I have rejected guys who were (according to me) just "average" looking or lacking the attraction factor I wanted. However, those guys were also lacking in the personality department (in my opinion) as well. So, my end decision did take looks into account in this case, but was heavily influenced by their personality. If I thought they were just "okay" looking but had all the values and qualities I desired, then I would surely give them a chance.

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    If you meet a guy and he is very nice and kind and gentleman like, but he is not as handsome as you wish he was, would you still give him a chance?
    Yes, I definitely would! Like I said, I don't have an ideal picture in my mind of how "handsome" he should be (other than those two things I mentioned). If I find him attractive at all, and he has a personality I desire (for you, it'd be: nice, kind, gentleman, + similar values) then I would definitely give him a chance!

    Plus, I've found that sometimes a person's personality makes them appear more attractive to me overtime. So, if I didn't instantly find him insanely attractive, getting to know him over an extended period of time could change my mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I recently posted a picture in my blog if you are wondering.... and I am wearing a tux- as every penguin should.
    ...I don't see a picture

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I will not date a girl unless I see potential marriage material.
    This, basically. Only, in my case, replace the word "girl" with the word "guy". Like sas said, looks will fade...

  5. #25
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Aww... you did not elaborate much on your answers.

    Rugged? Handsome? Are you sure you remember what I look like? I recently posted a picture in my blog if you are wondering.... and I am wearing a tux- as every penguin should.

    I was going to say! Why would you want to do violence to me? I thought we had something special? (See "SJ quiz" thread )
    Firstly, it would of been much easier had you said, look on page 142
    And ... You are still rugged and handsome. I knew from my answer you'd twist what i said and turn it into a negative. :steam: *bad penguin*

    OK .. I will elaborate a little then.

    Looks Vs Personality - I have a preference, i like men to look like men. Pink t-shirts don't do it for me, lol. I like my man to be stocky (makes me feel protected, but you'll never hear me say that IRL), however, i will fall for the personality first. Afterall we have to talk to get to know each other. If you have no personality then how will that work out in a relationship. It would be pretty boring. So anyway, personality wins over looks (and you should see both my ex's, lol) also maybe it is just me, but when you are so in love with someone, everything about the person shines. It gets all fuzzy.

    2nd question - If i am with a bloke who is nice, kind and a gentleman, of course i will give him a chance. Now there is a possibility we may not click thus go our own ways. Have to be realistic. There is no such thing as perfect (i have now just come to find, lol), sometimes you have to trade some things for others .. For example my ex had the most beautiful hands ever (I am a hand freak) yet he smoked dope (which i disliked with a passion) so his fingers would get stained which is not attractive if you are putting your hands over my body *wink* so i looked past the stains as behind that there was something more important.

    Am i making sense .. I feel like i have just rambled on and not really made any point. Hmmmm



    Now something i have noticed with you .. Your confidence does seem to be picking up. You seem to be getting a little braver and your sense of humour is wicked (in a positive way).

    Now please feel free to analyze what i have said, find all the negatives you can and reply.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #26
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    If I find him attractive at all, and he has a personality I desire (for you, it'd be: nice, kind, gentleman, + similar values) then I would definitely give him a chance!
    What are you implying here Autumn?

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    ..I don't see a picture
    Here it is: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...-post1414.html

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    This, basically. Only, in my case, substitute the word "girl" for "guy". Like sas said, looks will fade...
    Wait, what do you mean?

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Firstly, it would of been much easier had you said, look on page 142


    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Now something i have noticed with you .. Your confidence does seem to be picking up. You seem to be getting a little braver and your sense of humour is wicked (in a positive way).
    I am wicked? =( What do you mean in a positive way? Yes, I like to be brave. But what do you mean getting braver? That is a verb, surely you cannot see me doing brave things? I need examples....

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Now please feel free to analyze what i have said, find all the negatives you can and reply.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    What are you implying here Autumn?


    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Wait, what do you mean?
    Oops, I switched the wrong words.

    As in, "I will not date a guy unless I see potential marriage material."

  8. #28
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Are you saying you would give me a chance because I am "kind.." (and whatever else you said about me )?

    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Oops, I switched the wrong words.

    As in, "I will not date a guy unless I see potential marriage material."
    Oohhh.... okay. I have found however, that this has not worked for me. =( Sometimes I feel like I am so very "picky" that I shall never find a female that meets my standards.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post

    I am wicked? =( What do you mean in a positive way? Yes, I like to be brave. But what do you mean getting braver? That is a verb, surely you cannot see me doing brave things? I need examples....
    I said 'In a positive way' as i didn't want you to see the word 'wicked' and turn into something other than what i meant in the first place

    Don't go all grammar nazi on me please ..

    You are becoming more brave .. You used to be so shy, it looks like you are coming out of your box now.

    You are not aware of the impact you have on others .. Look how many people talk and reply to you. Yeah we are all being silly and having fun but that is down to you playing along.

    You are such a nice person .. You need to believe in yourself.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #30
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Are you saying you would give me a chance because I am "kind.." (and whatever else you said about me )?
    Ah, yes, that's what I was saying

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Oohhh.... okay. I have found however, that this has not worked for me. =( Sometimes I feel like I am so very "picky" that I shall never find a female that meets my standards.
    Yeah, there are times when I've doubted it as well. Times when I've kicked myself because, if I weren't so "picky", then I'd probably be in a relationship right now (or, at least, there would be a higher probability of that happening). However, ultimately, I think it will work out in the end. For me, the whole point of dating is to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with. So, for me, there's no point in dating someone I don't consider "marriage potential" because I don't want to give little intimate pieces of myself to people who I know I'll never be with in the long run (or who I don't want to be with in the long run).

    As for the high standards, I don't think anyone should have to settle because that will just create problems in the long run. Of course, like sas said, sometimes compromise is in order. But, for the most important things on your "standards list" (for me, it'd be "values")...those things shouldn't be compromised if you don't want them to. Everyone is different though.


    Another factor I consider, as well, is how comfortably I can converse with the person (this is a MAJOR deal-breaker). If we can talk for hours, have fun, and keep each other interested...then that's what I consider "chemistry". If there are tons of awkward silences and the conversation dies out after about 10 minutes, then (even if the guy is nice, kind, etc.) I probably won't pursue.

    Of course, I wouldn't base something like that on one encounter (since the guy could always be nervous, shy, etc.) but I would base my assessment on all of our encounters/conversations as a whole.

    But it sounds like, for you and this ISFJ, the whole "conversing comfortably for long periods of time" thing is not a problem.

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