Yes, yes, I am still asking questions about a particular ISTJ, if you need some catching up, read some of my posts in this forum, haha
I have been hanging out with this ISTJ whom I previously used to date and this 'hanging out without commitment' has been going on for about a year. He isnt seeing anyone else, same goes for me. He's not the type to use girls either (no need to argue, because I know this is true)
He doesnt want to commit because he thinks since we've broken up before, it's ultimately going to happen again (dang that Si) so we are just going down a path that leads to nowhere.
reasons we broke up before were things that have yet to be determined (How would we raise kids, etc) we also broke up because we had never really dated anyone else so we hadnt had much dating experience...
He's at the point where once every few months he brings up that we need to stop hanging out like we do. We try, and days later we're still close and hanging out. it's not always physical or anything like that. We just have so much fun together that we can't stay away. Yet, even though we both agree on this, he still won't commit. He says "let's try to not hang out one-on-one anymore,.. but i know that I'm saying this now and tomorrow I'll want to change my mind". He says he has seen a progressive change in me, but still says he thinks it wont work but cannot give reasons why. he says that sometimes he thinks he is convincing himself not to fall back in love with me, and to not try and have a relationship again... He says he doesnt know how he feels. . is this 'Convincing himself' happen just because he's trying to hang on to what he has already made up in his mind (that we wont work) or is it something else? how can I get him to stop convincing himself? How can he/we tell if it's his true feelings of him manipulating them?
Sometimes he wants me, sometimes he doesnt. Sometimes he thinks I'm the one, sometimes he doesn't. He ended the conversation saying that we need to stop hanging out indefinitely to see how he feels... can we do it?
(but, in the past, we keep ending back up together... how do I convince him that there has to be a reason why this is happening??...)
What causes indecisiveness in an ISTJ?
What can I do to help him make up his mind?
Sorry for the lengthy message.. can't sleep and I needed to get it out.
Brutal honesty is welcome. As is any advice whatsoever