[ESTJ] What do you think of ESTJs?

[Algora J]

Brilliant people, usually very funny and personable.

I think when we think of negative ESTJs, they're probably a different personality type masquerading around as ESTJs...therefore, they radiate negative energy because they are acting as personalities that drain them.

This is just an example, and may not be entirely within another person's experience, but when NFs attempt to act like ESTJs, they often display only the negative aspects of the ESTJ personality: controlling and illogical, often tyrannical and micromanaging.

Whereas an ESTJ in his natural environment, he is fun, proactive, goal-oriented and has a tendency to attract just about everyone on every level.

 

["?"]

I have an ESTJ co-worker, who has made her way up the latter into management without the post graduate degrees that her counterparts have obtained. She is the most laid back person that I know, but a hard worker. She has that leisurely style that Oldham describes. She can lead, but has no ego when she does not have to. I think the average person would consider her a perceiving type based on her laid back style.

 

[Nonsensical]

My grandmother is a very strong ESTJ. Being around her has led me to respect ESTJ's a great deal. They are very old-school, and I mean OLD-SCHOOL. I'm guessing they don't like change? Anything of the sort would lead them to fear. Whenever something wasn't settled, or not set in stone, it made her uncomfortable, and she would do her best to have everything revolve around a strict schedule.

I respect how orderly, and programed their lives are..something I would never be able to rise to doing..

 

[sharpedges]

I was recently married to an ESTJ for fourteen years. I'd consider it the longest and bloodest battle in relationship history (others would greatly agree).

I honestly think we stayed together simply from my loyalty and his insecurities. In the end, there were absolutely no workable aspects to our relationship. (Although he still tries to report to me and I still blast him for wasting my time!) The joys of diversity!

My view on the personality:

Extremely structured (anything outside their view is ready for the rod)
Supreme delegates (although lacking insight into those they control)
Attention whores (crave it for survival)
Hypocrites (absolutely no introspection or acknowledgement of self)
Butt lickers (claim to have connections they don't)
Undeveloped criminals (here chicky, chicky...)

Ok. Those views are a bit critical. Let me state some positive aspects...

Fantastic social skills (I could make a career out of holding every one they plot with accountable)
Second to none on covering their ass (I'm not responsible - you are!)
Mad dogs (shredding everything in their path even those they love)
Concerned (to excessive degrees)
Great with details (every little one - blah blah blah)
Complete understanding of social norms (anything other... forget it - not happening!)

I've also worked closely with a co-worker for the past eight years (it's took us that long to appreciate our differences). She's awesome and she'll manage any business plans I have. Love all you guys!

 

[Cenara]

Quite a refreshing thread

Whereas an ESTJ in his natural environment, he is fun, proactive, goal-oriented and has a tendency to attract just about everyone on every level.

I feel this to be true, second ya

 

[EJCC]

Ya'll are some hateful SOB's.

You are absolutely right. Considering the fact that an ESTJ created this thread, I don't know if it's the best idea to vent about what tight-assed, heartless tools they are all the time. (I'm thinking of you, sharpedges, when I write this, since your "positive aspects" were all negative.... I'm pretty sure that "second to none on covering their ass" isn't a compliment.) All in all, it's really hurtful.

Of course, I'm kind of sensitive, because in what I figure (and I'm probably wrong) to be the ESTJ manner, whenever someone criticizes me and they're right, I tend to retreat into my own head and wallow in self-pity. (e.g. "Oh god, they're right about me. I'm a heartless tool. How can anyone think I'm a decent human being?") And that's how I feel when I read this thread. A lot of people are pissed at ESTJs, and for good reason. It makes me rethink the whole Myers-Briggs principle of no type being "better" than any other. (LOL, pity party! sorry about that.)

I've also started to feel like people in the media feel the same way about ESTJs. Whenever I look up movie characters of my type, they're all awful people, or at least horrifically obnoxious and controlling. They're all cubicle bosses, or people who deny food to poor starving children. This may be funny at first, but after a while it really kills your self-esteem (kind of like body image BS in advertising and the fashion industry).

On to my point: could we not be so hateful? Let's think of ESTJs like they're people, and not robots (LOL, killer robots who like organizing pencils by length and quality of eraser). Or, at least, if you are stereotypical, how about doing it in a friendly way? I.E. We ESTJs know that we're strong personalities. We know why people hate us (at least, I do... I tend to analyze myself a lot...), so it isn't really necessary to be mean. We're already mean enough to ourselves - I mean, for God's sake, we already register almost any tiny mistake as ABSOLUTE FAILURE AND DISHONOR TO THE WHOLE FAMILY.

Done ranting. On with the show.

 

[animenagai]

i've had a bad view of ESTJ's, but listening to all you guys, i think i may have a change of heart . i think my slanted views must have come from the only ESTJ person i know - my aunt. honestly, she didn't have the smarts that some of these ESTJ's i hear about have. she is old school as anybody and is very militant about it. her husband basically has no breathing room. the positive side of her character though is that she does look out for everyone, perhaps because of obligation. she'll give anyone in her family vitamins and such she hears about etc. she's also a very diligent housewife.

my aunt pisses me off in general, but honestly, she may be an ESTJ which doesn't know balance. any extreme is not a good thing.

 

[EJCC]

Woo... did this thread just die? I'm sorry if I killed it...

 

[LadyJaye]

Of course not! It takes more than one ESTJ to kill a thread about ESTJ's.

 

[EJCC]

You're right! We just need to keep this thread open so we can see what the verdict on ESTJs is.

 

[Algora J]

You're right! We just need to keep this thread open so we can see what the verdict on ESTJs is.

Another thing about ESTJs- is that I always immediately click with them, I think it's based on the ideal that we are counterparts in the external world- their practical sensory extravertedness is complementary to ENTJs. All in all, I think ESTJs typically are great people. I haven't met a single one that I haven't liked.

 

[EJCC]

Thank you. I can safely say that I feel the same way about ENTJs. I've never met one I didn't like (though I've only met 2... well, 3, counting you). We're all nerdy perfectionists, so far as I can see, and I think, somehow, and correct me if I'm wrong, that when ESTJs and ENTJs come together, their mutual bossiness and obsessiveness sort of cancels out, and so you get this really laid-back duo, just chatting about the conflict in Georgia, the new songs they added to the broadway version of "Beauty and the Beast", or anything else.

It might also be a little bit like... wolf packs (don't laugh)), in that the most aggressive one establishes dominance. Whichever one is loudest (which I think is usually the ENTJ) becomes dominant, and the less aggressive one becomes a comparative introvert, sitting and listening while the other one rants.

Again, correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Algora J]

Thank you. I can safely say that I feel the same way about ENTJs. I've never met one I didn't like (though I've only met 2... well, 3, counting you). We're all nerdy perfectionists, so far as I can see, and I think, somehow, and correct me if I'm wrong, that when ESTJs and ENTJs come together, their mutual bossiness and obsessiveness sort of cancels out, and so you get this really laid-back duo, just chatting about the conflict in Georgia, the new songs they added to the broadway version of "Beauty and the Beast", or anything else.

It might also be a little bit like... wolf packs (don't laugh)), in that the most aggressive one establishes dominance. Whichever one is loudest (which I think is usually the ENTJ) becomes dominant, and the less aggressive one becomes a comparative introvert, sitting and listening while the other one rants.

Again, correct me if I'm wrong.

Yes exactly.

I also think for romantic relationships, this pairing is win-win.

 

[EJCC]

In my opinion, ESTJ women are the least competitive of all women, they're usually team players. ESTJ men are sometimes the exact opposite.

I agree with this entirely.

EDIT: One other thing is that I occasionally get annoyed at ENTJs because they act like me times fifty, and I've known my entire life that if I met myself, I'd be pissed at myself after like five minutes.

 

[visaisahero]

I don't think I have met any at all.

or maybe they just too unforgettable, for me.

Singapore is full of ESTJs! they're all around. >_>

 

[Tamske]

As a hardcore ESTJ fan, I've got to answer on this.

I've got one real-life ESTJ example. As he's my husband and I love him, I'm quite biased. At the other hand, my love for him [understatement] has probably something to do with his personality [/understatement], so...

There are the nice ESTJs on the forum on who I can rely when I have questions.

And then there is the bunch of ESTJ characters in different stories of mine. They make great main characters: their sense of duty and respect for authority can lead them astray when faced with corrupt authority; their no-nonsense, active approach makes the story move on... I'm surprised that there aren't a lot of ESTJ heroes outside my own stories, except the ones who have to learn the value of family or love or... gah. Why can't an ESTJ not be a hero and still be an ESTJ?
There is a bad ESTJ in my novel project, too! He's a real stick-in-the-mud , who refuses to allow Main and Sidekick to do magic while fighting (because the rules of the army say so), despite the quite obvious fact that it would make them stronger...
And, of course, conflict between the two - conflicts are the staple ingredient of stories.

 

[Within]

Hate their guts.

 

[Chloe]

Often extremely judgmental people who dont want to understand you but want you to change and know exactly how you should be. Not able to empathize with people about something they didnt expirience yet, like depression, and then when they expirience those things.. come to senses. but it's too late usually..someone mentioned hypocritical -yes, hypocritial. Isnt all SJ culture hypocritical? sorry, cant look at it differently at times.
Did I say judgmental?
Oh, yeah, pissed at STJs and all STJ culture.


Of course there are many exceptions, mature ones, like EJCC (saw your video and like it) but what I just described are those that make problems to me.

 

[theadoor]

Often extremely judgmental people who dont want to understand you but want you to change and know exactly how you should be. Not able to empathize with people about something they didnt expirience yet, like depression, and then when they expirience those things.. come to senses. but it's too late usually..someone mentioned hypocritical -yes, hypocritial. Isnt all SJ culture hypocritical? sorry, cant look at it differently at times.
Did I say judgmental?
Oh, yeah, pissed at STJs and all STJ culture.


Of course there are many exceptions, mature ones, like EJCC (saw your video and like it) but what I just described are those that make problems to me.

I totally agree with you. They're on the bottom of my list. I know one veeeery typical example and she's just getting me pissed all the time. So inflexible, self-righteous, demanding and very keen on judging others that doesn't met her value system.. :steam:
But I agree it just depends on the person a lot.

 

[FeatheredFrenzy]

Some qualities ESTJs don't get enough credit for:

-Boisterous and fun-loving

-Stylish

-Extremely skilled/competent

-Tough

-On top of things

-Friendly and caring