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  1. #31
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    The ESTJ that I know best is a respectable person, a good example, and he well combines the needs of people and his organization. So I like him. I'd praise him more, but I'm going to sleep right now..

  2. #32
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    I've known a couple ESTJs really well and met many others. They are good as long as they have zero authority over me. My mother and I for example get along much better now. My rule bending and primary focus both has always been a source of friction to the ones I've known. Two EJs can get along together very well if they have the same ideas...if not the sparks will fly. They say NFs are not competitive but that's not always true. I love to give ESTJs a run for their money so to speak in organizing and being successful. I like it best when they have gotten comfortable in their jobs and used to being number one. ESTJs can intimidate me though as I haven't met a single one who could deal with anger well. I've seen a couple of ESTJ explosions which were not pretty. ISTJs and I get along exceptionally well, throw in the E and it's a different story. I guess my opinion on the type in general is rather neutral. I'm guessing at the very least it is mutually indifferent or negative from their pov.
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  3. #33
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    ESTJs can intimidate me though as I haven't met a single one who could deal with anger well. I've seen a couple of ESTJ explosions which were not pretty.
    Actually, yeah, I've noticed that too. Normally amicable and friendly, but when they get angry they go boom! ^^ Like when my dad is frustrated, the whole house knows, because he'll shout something (usually at himself) then go off and vent in private. I think he's learned that he works through his frustration best when he's alone, and we've learned to avoid him when he's annoyed. But it doesn't usually last long until he can deal with us civilly again(whether or not he's still simmering is hard to tell).

  4. #34
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    There is a duality in the ESTJ I am soon to be free of. (divorce)

    There is part of him that is the most amazing father and husband. He pitches in on housework, is always working on a project improving our home, teaching the kids really awesome things (football, baseball, riding their bikes etc). He is funny and a lot of fun in so many ways I cant imagine a better partner in life. He works hard, and will work as much over time (law enforcement) as they will give him/allow.

    On the other hand....

    He is only motivated if things are going good for him. If they arent he is a wreck, falling apart emotionally and physically. He will let his health go, he will be very negative.
    He is a habitual cheater, though until this was discovered life was fairly good as he was able to balance the duality and I never knew a thing was happening....except for his seeming moody.
    When this was discovered he became enraged and explosive with his temper as I was making provisions for him to moveout....after a couple of years of his working on the issue and failing miserably I found myself DONE with the situation.

    Somehow, he can very easily sweep aside the past and wants to start over again and again........
    Something I cannot do, as life to me is based on an entwined landscape. Not individual pieces as he perceives.

    My grandpa was an ESTJ also.....he also seemed to do very similar things in his marriage. My grandmother was an ISFJ however, and it seems the period of time it occured in their lives and her being somewhat submissive lead it to occur continually over their marriage until they were older.

  5. #35
    Member Vicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zergling View Post
    My dad seems to fit ESTJ well. We get along o.k.

    In general, though, the bad sides of an ESTJ tend to be more immediately obvious with direct effects on people than for most other types. The stereotypical bad side of an ESTJ is bossy, over involved in other people's business, hard to get rid of, hard to convince, and a general pain in the ass to people near them. Compare to a stereotypical bad ENTP, who might be annoyingly talky but can be avoided more easily, or a stereotypical bad INxP, who will procrastinate and not finish stuff, but won't be injecting themselves into other people's business, and are easier to keep away.
    same here, my dad is an ESTJ.
    when he's in a good mood I respect his opinions.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Blackwater's Avatar
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    In my experience, ESTJs are actually somewhat comical.

    I always compare them unfavorably to ENTJs: The local administrator versus the global administrator. Because I'm N-dominant and P, all else equal, I find it comical how ESTJs will look at a given problem within a very constricted frame of mind and then make up their minds based on various shorthand considerations. I wish they'd take a broader view of a given situation before acting. And its even worse with ESFJs.
    best collection of philosopher typings online

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  7. #37
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Another thing that just came to mind - the ESTJ I know has a fantastic memory for little bits of useless trivia. He remembers the casts of obscure TV shows from 20 years ago, the name of bands that had one hit and one hit only, and probably the album that hit was on, to boot. Given, his knowledge of more recent bands/shows is less complete, but just about anything that isn't entirely obscure from 10 or 20 years ago, he knows. It never fails to astonish me.

  8. #38
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    My impression is that they're highly efficient and thorough people, who work very hard towards things, and can be a bit controlling, tending to micro-manage. I've never met one, though.
    Mariankatu 1 Helsinki.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackwater View Post
    In my experience, ESTJs are actually somewhat comical.

    I always compare them unfavorably to ENTJs: The local administrator versus the global administrator. Because I'm N-dominant and P, all else equal, I find it comical how ESTJs will look at a given problem within a very constricted frame of mind and then make up their minds based on various shorthand considerations. I wish they'd take a broader view of a given situation before acting. And its even worse with ESFJs.
    I have a friend who would never trust an ESFJ to make any decisions except maybe what to have for lunch at meetings.

  10. #40
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    I've known at least three ESTJs well in my life - one of them is my father. Here's the common thread that I see between them:

    ESTJs that I have known seem to size up a person instantly to decide whether the person is a friend or foe. If they deem that person a friend, they are intensely loyal to them and defensive of anything someone else would say against them. If they deem that person to be a foe, I hope that person gets a three second headstart to the door!

    They make excellent leaders, seem to be extremely competent and driven, and are typically very good in business. They have this sort of charm that I've never seen any other personality type exude so much.

    They also lack patience, are very stubborn and not easily swayed, and if you start an argument with one (which I have), their anger can be astounding. It's really explosive and seems to come out of nowhere.

    I highly value their rational thinking. And I love the fact that they say what they mean and don't mince words. You always know exactly where you stand.

    When making decisions, they are very quick to decide, and it's extremely difficult to get them to re-analyze a decision. Being an INTJ myself, it frustrates me that they don't always analyze all of the possibilities before making a decision. For example, if I were going to purchase a computer, my tendency would be to do a lot of research, compare models and prices, and then come to a final, educated decision. My father is so driven to decide quickly that he might think of buying a computer at 9:00 AM one day and by 10:00 AM he's in the local computer store asking someone (that he has deemed competent) what the best model is. Out the door he goes at 10:30, computer in hand. Maybe the difference is that they are so trusting of people they have decided they like. I don't trust anyone to make my decisions for me - I might take into account their advice but ultimately I make the decision myself.

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