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  1. #1
    Ginkgo
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    Default ESFJ Foreign Exchange Student

    I am hosting a foreign exchange student from Turkey who scored as an esFJ on the MBTI test.

    He is very considerate and helpful. In fact, the first night he stayed with me, he assembled an exercise machine that I had lying around. He also takes it upon himself to do chores that he really doesn't need to. As an INFP, I naturally interpret this behavior as "he wants to honor me" or "he thinks it would be more effective if he did the chores himself.

    However, there are a couple of things that really bother me about him. For instance, he thinks that he can prove his point by redundantly repeating it. For instance, he told me "Xbox 360 sucks and PS3 is better". My Ne made me say "Why? What is so superior about it?" To which he replied "It just sucks. The graphics suck and the internet browser sucks."

    It just irks me when someone can't prove their point.

    Furthermore, he thinks he has to finish everything he starts. A good example of this would be that he started watching Pokemon, and now he feels that he must watch the entire fucking season on Youtube. I just don't understand.

    For some reason, he finds it amusing to scare the crap out of my 10 year old cocker spaniel. I told him not to because the dog's old and I don't want to treat him poorly before he dies. However, he still persists on doing it like a little child.

    He also calls people names and has a crude sense of humor.

    But aside from that, he's a nice guy...

    /end rant

    Any suggestions? Comments?

  2. #2
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    What is your complaint? Do you tolerate people different from yourself well?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  3. #3
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    What is your complaint? Do you tolerate people different from yourself well?
    I'm merely expressing myself. Furthermore, I was hoping to gain more understanding of how to behave with an ESFJ.

    If I couldn't tolerate him, he wouldn't be living with me.

  4. #4
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    What do you want suggestions for? He is just different. The only thing that seems like an issue that you should try to work out is the one where he is annoying your dog. How did he respond when you talked to him about that?
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  5. #5
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post

    As an INFP, I naturally interpret this behavior as "he wants to honor me" or "he thinks it would be more effective if he did the chores himself.

    Comments?

    Lmao .. He wants to honour me .. ????

    He is a guest in your house. As an act of courtesy, he is cleaning up. Do you not do this in other peoples houses?

    Yes, treating the dog so poorly is unkind. Speak up about it. That is uncalled for.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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