When you guys say something like "What the &*^$ are you thinking?" "Why the &*#@ would you do that?" "You aren't handling this situation right at all. What the ^&*$!!!" to someone who is close to you like a family member, what does it really mean?
INTP's are pretty logical, so we can totally see when someone did something stupid, but the way you guys sometimes say these things is scary. Like why would you want to talk to someone that way? It really makes me not want to deal with you anymore and actually lose respect for you because it sounds so condescending and chauvanistic (sp?). But, I think I've learned from ESTJ's that are close to me that even when they say things like this, everything can be OK like 10 minutes later.
When you guys talk like that, I usually think, "OK, that person obviously has a problem with how I do things, and they seem REALLY PISSED, so I guess they don't want anything to do with me or they don't like me." So then I'll keep my distance from them.
But then the ESTJ will act like nothing is wrong or like nothing ever happened. It's really confusing. Your words come off like "I think you're a freaking idiot and a loser. Take a hike!" But, then 10 minutes later you're cool again.
Please explain what goes through your head when you speak this way to a family member. Are you not really as mad as you sound? Or are you REALLY mad, but then just get over it quickly??