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  1. #1
    Member Dizzy's Avatar
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    Default regrets for an ISTJ (sleeping with one's ex)

    I tend to live orderly, eat healthy, work hard, go to the gym at least four times per week. In the weekends I allow myself to let go and drink with my friends. It seems then I get to the opposite of my character, I let go, cross borders, go all the way.
    Past friday I ended up with someone's ex-girlfriend and spend the night with her after a party. I know her ex for like two years, and they have been separated ever since. When she invited me in, I told her: I don't think that is a good idea, I should go now. She replied: but we can only talk and sleep. Well, that sounded reasonable. One thing led to another, borders were crossed.

    The day after, the feeling over regrets were just overwhelming. My core value is loyalty & responsibility. But the things I have done were quite the opposite. I have called her ex-boyfriend and told him about what happened. He is all but happy and he has his reasons too. I took full responsibility.

    I feel bad, normally I seldom regret things because my choices are logical and rational. When I let things go, things are quite the opposite. I feel bad for her ex. But also because I fear for my reputation. I have broken with my core values, this is so not me.

    Anyone resembles this? Anyone, offer me some support

  2. #2
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    This kind of shit happens sometimes. Usually when one has other, bigger, emotional problems etc.
    Maybe you know what it is, maybe you don't.
    I usually don't, until afterwards. Had this bigass bundle of bad going on from january to may.
    Lost my girlfriend and my grandfather died within like a months time. It kinda caused me to drink and feel sorry for myself.
    Everything is justified when you're feeling sorry for yourself.
    Most killers, dictators and other evil sons of bitches feel sorry for themselves, and justify just about anything with this.


    I've done this exact thing that you're talking about once, and I still feel like shit over it.
    Even though the guy was over her long ago.

    I wonder if this is related to having weak Introverted Feeling or something?

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  3. #3
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Um. It seems to be related to alcohol. I don't understand why people would drink while feeling emotionally unbalanced. What good do you expect it to bring? I think, best case scenario, you pass out. But you could easily ask a friend to do an Anaconda choke on you and you'd be out!

    God knows I've done some stupid stuff while drunk, but it seems like you were able to reason during the influence of alcohol and female charms. I think you did the right thing by telling your friend, very responsible. Now, all you can do is wait it out and not see that witchy-poo for a while. I think letting your friend know you're sorry is good, but don't push it on him. Let him take his own time to deal.

  4. #4
    Member Dizzy's Avatar
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    I hope time will heal things. I don't feel sorry for myself. I regret things.I am not emotionally unbalanced, i think...

  5. #5
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post
    I hope time will heal things. I don't feel sorry for myself. I regret things.I am not emotionally unbalanced, i think...
    You don't seem to be. I was referring to Jesus. After all he's been through - he's gotta have some scars on his soul.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I'm not sure I'm following. What do you regret exactly? They are no longer together, right? Or am I getting something wrong here?

  7. #7
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I'm not sure I'm following. What do you regret exactly? They are no longer together, right? Or am I getting something wrong here?
    This is bound to happen. An ENFP trying to understand an ISTJ.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragingkatsuki View Post
    This is bound to happen. An ENFP trying to understand an ISTJ.
    :P

    I'm trying to understand exactly what value was violated here. No one-night-stands? Sleeping with someone who's had past relationships?

    Or is it just because he happened to know the ex, and for some reason you aren't allowed to sleep with the ex of someone you know? (he didn't specify whether this guy is his friend or not)

  9. #9
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salt n' pepper View Post
    You don't seem to be. I was referring to Jesus. After all he's been through - he's gotta have some scars on his soul.
    Of course I have. Don't we all?
    But, like most things. Shitstorms blow over, too.
    Scars, yep, but i've dealt with most things, and the rest is under way.
    Good ol' Fi practice
    I'm thinking I might be a better and more emotional person than before.
    That's a double-edged sword, though

    Anyway. Bad shit always happens everyone, in some form or another.
    It is always bad. Turning it around and making it into something good, on the other hand...
    That's good.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  10. #10
    Member Dizzy's Avatar
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    I know her ex, he's a friend of friends, know him pretty well, meet him every other week on these parties. I know the both of them since they are apart. I know since they broke up they still met occasionally, but that has ended for as far as I know.
    Anyway just got this text message: lost my best friend (her), she is not slut you can take whenever you feel like it...
    PFff

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