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  1. #11
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    Do you EVER get emotional? Why do you have a hard time with complimenting other people?
    Yes, I can get very emotional on the inside. I guess it's not very obvious on the outside...?

    About compliments, do we think they're just unnecessary? It reminds me a little of the way some people recommend saying "I'm upset" when you're upset. Sounds kind of redundant.

    Of course, I've worked on such things over the years, and the results can be nice.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  2. #12
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    My emotions run deep, but they're kept inside....a lot. People rarely see them. The thing is if something is bothering me, I'm having millions of internal conversations with myself debating the pros and cons of every action I could take on my feelings. Deliberation is the first priority. To me, once an action is taken, it can't be taken back.


  3. #13
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Of course I wasn't asking only Sonata. I just love the fact that he's so responsive and articulate. For an 18 year old, he is VERY wise! Cimmaron (sp?) is another favorite of mine. I think that I like ISTJs in general, very much. Just for the record, I don't break down crying all the time. I've actually taken a few "work personality" tests and I come out more as an ISTJ. My crying spell had to do more with hormones than anything else, I think. And of course, I have all the SJ tendencies. I like being organized, working hard and I'm very efficient. When I make mistakes, I learn from them...or I try to. I think that he does value me as a good employee and this last Friday, he asked my opinion on several things and really seemed to listen and want to know.

    I do get a feeling sometimes that there are emotions down there. He fired the person before me...but because she was a single mom and he felt bad for her financial position and all of that...he kept her about 3 years longer than he should have...because she wasn't a good employee. I think he is somewhat jaded now.

    As an ISFJ, it does say that I tend to form more of a personal bond with my boss...or something to that effect. It's true that if I care about someone and respect them, I will work harder for them. I feel like it's a privilege when someone "lets me in" and trusts me enough to just be themselves.

    My last boss was an ESFJ...or something like that. He drove me NUTS. He was so unprofessional and EXTREMELY touchy feely....he would spend hours whining about how his wife treated him badly. Ugghh...!! I much prefer my ISTJ boss to him!

    Is it weird that I'd like to be "closer" to my boss? Not in a personal way and I would never want to socialize outside of work or anything like that...but I'd like to get to know him better. So one question for ISTJ's - what makes you open up to someone? I'm not talking about you spilling your guts to me or wanting to hug me (*shudder*), but just being comfortable with me and able to be yourself with me? In reality, there are very few people in my life that I consider "close." Trust has to be earned with me and I need to know that I'm not being judged, etc. I keep a lot of my own emotions and feelings inside. When I am at home, it's different. My husband is an INFP and he and I are very touchy feely. I adore my children and smother them with love (although they are 18 and 14 and it sometimes annoys them.) I will share my private thoughts and feelings with them...and my husband is a godsend in that regard. But in the rest of my daily life...my emotions and feelings are not on display. I remember when I first started the job, my boss told me that I was "very hard to read." I want he and I to be better at reading each other. I'm a pretty black and white ISFJ. Either I like you alot and I want to be closer to you and share how I think and/or how I feel about things, about life, etc... or I consider you an aquaintance. I will be nice to you and help you and care about you because I care about most people in a general sense...but you will never get below the surface with me.

    It is helpful to understand the things you've been telling me about ISTJs. Once I understand that he doesn't give a lot of praise...or as one poster put it (it's like a redundancy to him), it helps me be less sensitive when I don't get it. I am trying really hard to understand and learn about the functions (Si or Se, etc.), but I'm still figuring those out. I think that all of my primary functions are i's. Ti is my primary, with Fi in second and then Si.

    Tell me about the ISTJ sense of humor. What kind of things do you find funny?

    Does it help you open up to people more, if they open up first? Or does it just take you time...or do you just not really ever open up?

    So, emotions are secondary to logic to ISTJs. That helps and makes sense. My reason for wanting him to be interested in the MBTI is two fold. I want he and I to be able to understand each other better and work within each other's strengths and weaknesses, but I also want him to hire the other attorney who is going to fit in with both his personality and mine. And I think he partially wants my help and opinion.

    I was working at his desk when he was on vacation for a week, and I had to check his e-mails. I came across a few between he and his wife and compared them to e-mails between me and my husband:

    I will use fake names to protect the innocent!

    His:

    Tom,

    Here is a nice picture.

    Jane

    Mine:

    Lambchop (my husband actually calls me that...so it would NEVER be my name)..if it wasn't that...it would be Honeybunch or Muffin, etc..

    You look so cute in this picture! I am so lucky to have such a beautiful wife. I can't wait to see you tonight.

    Porkchop (a common pet name of mine for him...or whatever else I'm calling him at the moment)

    If my husband sent me an e-mail containing either his name or mine, I would immediately know something was REALLY wrong and vice versa.

    It was REALLY weird to me to see such formal e-mails!

    How are ISTJs with their significant others? Not that I care about that with my boss, but I'm just curious now. Are you affectionate? Or does your logic carry over in relationships? If you aren't emotional, why would you even get married?

    I look forward to your responses!

  4. #14
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    My emotions run deep, but they're kept inside....a lot. People rarely see them. The thing is if something is bothering me, I'm having millions of internal conversations with myself debating the pros and cons of every action I could take on my feelings. Deliberation is the first priority. To me, once an action is taken, it can't be taken back.
    Raz, will you share your thought process and deliberation with anyone else?

    Do you ever long to let people see your emotions or are you fine with things the way they are?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheChosenOne View Post
    Yeah, I could definitely relate to your boss by being uncomfortable if someone's crying like that in my presence.

    I know I'm not Sonata, but I'll answer these questions, since I am ISTJ too:

    No, don't say 'You're not smarter than me' to him, probably not a good idea. What interested me in the MBTI is that it was involved personality and behavior, which I became very interested in.



    I value people who can get things done efficiently. What you can do, if you know your boss is ISTJ, is get things done and don't be too feely.



    If it were me, I would prefer not to have someone that emotional break down like that in front of me.



    Sometimes I do get emotional, but whenever I do, I will not generally not show it. It takes a lot to get me to blow up at someone.
    I was totally kidding about saying "You're not smarter than me." I would never say that. I do very much get things done...and I like taking on new things.

    Part of my issue about breaking down in front of him had to do with the fact that I was thinking of taking a Property and Probate law class that would help with my job. Not only was he less than enthusiastic about it, but in the same conversation, he mentioned that a collegue of his (who is a total bitch) sent him some resumes for my job. In addition to being hormonal, I was a little put off by it. I was saying that I was willing to invest my time and money into my job (and my time...to me...is a precious commodity that I rarely give out) and the way things came out with him led me to misunderstand him and make me think he was still considering whether or not to keep me or look for someone else. My initial reaction was to get mad...and he knew I was mad. But occassionally when I get mad, I also cry. In all reality, I don't cry very often at all.

    But since then, he has taken more of an interest in the class I'm taking, which is a positive. And he also has a "coach" who helps him with professional things...and she told him it was understandable that I was upset when I was talking about investing in my job and he chose that time to tell me that someone was sending him resumes (which I have no clue why he even told me at all...except that he was thinking it and said it...and didn't think about the impact it might have on me.) I think she successfully helped him understand that I wasn't just being a big baby.

    Why do you equate being emotional with "blowing up at someone?" Just curious.

  6. #16
    Senior Member FallaciaSonata's Avatar
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    Is it weird that I'd like to be "closer" to my boss?

    what makes you open up to someone?

    Tell me about the ISTJ sense of humor. What kind of things do you find funny?

    How are ISTJs with their significant others? Not that I care about that with my boss, but I'm just curious now. Are you affectionate? Or does your logic carry over in relationships? If you aren't emotional, why would you even get married?
    All right. I don't think it's strange that you'd want to be "closer" to your boss, because I can see the rationale behind that. Just as you said, by knowing each other (and your strengths/weaknesses) you can become/create a better team. However, I don't personally get close to people "just because". As I'm sure you've imagined, there has to be a logical reason for doing so.

    I hate to rain on the parade, but if and when I do open up to someone, it isn't overnight. And not over a few weeks either. For me, it's a couple of years. (For my two closest friends, that was about the time frame.) This I think varies depending on how private the person is in general, or perhaps their level of introversion.

    Ah...the ISTJ sense of humor. My favorite. Here is a link to another thread that has a very, very good explanation of it, but I'll also provide a quick summary of my own.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...stj-humor.html

    My jokes are mostly situational based, and generally require the listener to know about something else in order to make the connection and "catch the humor". For example.....I have an "inside" joke with one of my friends, where certain phrases are used. Unless you know the origin of the phrases, which only we do, you would think of us as weirdos.

    For others, I rely heavily on sarcasm. There's a bit of truth in each one, but they're usually just pessimistic one-liners I drop into other people's conversations. It has the appearance of being spontaneous, but all I'm really doing is relying on my inner-library of sarcastic one-liners. (Half of them are my own, the rest I steal from Dad. Heh.) Sometimes I can just spout something out though, and it turns out great.

    As for your last question, the one about significant others, I do not believe I am qualified to answer that. I've only had one "girlfriend", and that was when I was fourteen. I don't really count that one. Dating isn't really my thing --- I don't have time for that right now.

    Added:

    Should probably mention the last time I "asked someone out". It was someone I knew to a decent degree, figured it would work, she being a super-introvert like myself, and.....well, I actually wrote down all the logical reasons I thought it would work and then I composed....a small paper consisting of that and a proposal to get to know each other. I half expected her to turn away immediately, but instead she politely declined with the same rationale I would use today --- "I'm not really dating right now". And I know from observation that she's in a similar boat like me, too, in that sense. She hasn't *ever* dated. Never been asked out before either. Hm.
    Last edited by FallaciaSonata; 09-13-2009 at 06:54 PM. Reason: Added some stuff. Fixed bad grammar.

    Always remember to flank your enemies. History won't remember how dramatic your failed frontal assault looked. - Dragon Age: Origins

  7. #17
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    Raz, will you share your thought process and deliberation with anyone else?

    Do you ever long to let people see your emotions or are you fine with things the way they are?
    You mean an actual example to you in this thread?

    Yes, I do. However, I have to build up a lot of trust. There's so much superficiality going around, and it takes a lot of emotional energy for me to really open up to someone. I want it to be worth it.

    Quick way to gain my respect in the workplace is to demonstrate your competency without an emotional side to it and respect my privacy. Competent people get me excited in the workplace. It makes me want to do better because I admire their intellect. However, if someone is letting that competence be attached to unnecessary emotions, I quickly lose respect for them. Arrogance is one of them. People who air their personal life too much at work in public areas lose my respect.

    Show an ability to work on your own, and at least LOOK for solutions to problems on your own, and omg, I suddenly put you above A LOT of people on my list. The ability for someone to be an independent worker ant while being productive is just so sexy to me. It's another SJ thing, but REMEMBER things. If you remember small things I said or did, then that does a crapload.

    There's a lot of shit that annoys me at work but a lot of stuff that also gets me excited. I'm like the opposite of the average person there. I take pride in my ability to WORK, to get things accomplished. It bites me in the ass a lot, though.


  8. #18
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    I was totally kidding about saying "You're not smarter than me." I would never say that. I do very much get things done...and I like taking on new things.

    Part of my issue about breaking down in front of him had to do with the fact that I was thinking of taking a Property and Probate law class that would help with my job. Not only was he less than enthusiastic about it, but in the same conversation, he mentioned that a collegue of his (who is a total bitch) sent him some resumes for my job. In addition to being hormonal, I was a little put off by it. I was saying that I was willing to invest my time and money into my job (and my time...to me...is a precious commodity that I rarely give out) and the way things came out with him led me to misunderstand him and make me think he was still considering whether or not to keep me or look for someone else. My initial reaction was to get mad...and he knew I was mad. But occassionally when I get mad, I also cry. In all reality, I don't cry very often at all.

    But since then, he has taken more of an interest in the class I'm taking, which is a positive. And he also has a "coach" who helps him with professional things...and she told him it was understandable that I was upset when I was talking about investing in my job and he chose that time to tell me that someone was sending him resumes (which I have no clue why he even told me at all...except that he was thinking it and said it...and didn't think about the impact it might have on me.) I think she successfully helped him understand that I wasn't just being a big baby.
    That's good that she's helping.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    Why do you equate being emotional with "blowing up at someone?" Just curious.
    For the most part, I don't, but sometimes I may get that impression because emotional to me is a strong word itself. But what you're implying is right - being emotional is not only 'blowing up'. For example, most of the time, when I experience emotion, I really do not show it, it's hidden and inside me.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    The ability for someone to be an independent worker ant while being productive is just so sexy to me.
    I appreciate your thoughts, but I'm not interested in appearing "sexy."

    I could be more wordy, but in short....I work my ass off. So I guess I'm good there with an ISTJ.

  10. #20
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    I'm sorry if that came off the wrong way. I'm just saying what I appreciate in the work environment.

    Hard work != good work. A lot of people don't realize that. Any TJ with half a brain comes to the realization early on that a lot of effort doesn't necessarily make a good end product.


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