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  1. #21
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Thank you so much, you've helped alot. Other people have thought she was being manipulative as well, unfortunately. Of me and my friend, I was the one who was willing to consider that she wasn't being manipulative but just honest with her feelings, because I know she's an honest person. The way she says it still comes off that way to me, but with your confirmation I'm even more ready to believe her thoroughly (and that it isn't a subconscious ploy, either).

    (I have a sad story to share about this. A day or so before I left to hang out with friends for this whole last week in Oklahoma, she gave me one of those "you're not gonna end up talking to me anyway" lines and I told her to stop doing that, she said she wasn't trying to do anything and I said she knew exactly what she meant. When I came back I found out she had been upset the entire time due to that along with some other stuff that had been going on. She apologized, though, and I did, too, and the conversation ended upbeat despite even more potential drama. I'm determined to not let that event repeat itself, though. I'm just grateful she says I'm an amazing friend.)

    It doesn't always help to distract her because sometimes she's just that down in the dumps. She does get distracted pretty easily like you said, though. She might talk about her issues and then all of a sudden brighten up when she starts thinking about something as simple as ice cream. hahaha. Or when I say something she considers silly she'll just suddenly laugh. So I know you're right, but the trouble is that it seems unpredictable when she's gonna be able to be distracted.

    I don't mind giving affirmation, it's a stretch for me, but if I use it as a tactic (and yes I do mean it but me having to say anything like that that seems obvious to me is a technique to me) I can do fine. It's still kinda frustrating though, although worth it in the end for how happy she becomes.
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  2. #22
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Also, do you get really super attached to your friends? Other people think she must have a crush on me, but she says she got over that a long time ago after I never wrote her the entire summer I was up in her state as a camp counselor, and especially after all the drama that happened while living in close quarters (with her family). haha.

    But she does have other guy friends she feels really close to and she's always been more comfortable hanging with guys. Yet she really misses me alot and is always saying how she can't wait till I move up there. Does it still make sense that she has no romantic feelings for me, or do you think there's a possibility that there's some subconscious stuff going on there?
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  3. #23
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Also, do you get really super attached to your friends? Other people think she must have a crush on me, but she says she got over that a long time ago after I never wrote her the entire summer I was up in her state as a camp counselor, and especially after all the drama that happened while living in close quarters (with her family). haha.

    But she does have other guy friends she feels really close to and she's always been more comfortable hanging with guys. Yet she really misses me alot and is always saying how she can't wait till I move up there. Does it still make sense that she has no romantic feelings for me, or do you think there's a possibility that there's some subconscious stuff going on there?
    I'm glad I can help, Stellar, but I don't know if I"m the person to ask about this, I'm usually too blunt about these kind of things. My answer is, YES, she still has romantic feelings for you. And yes, I do get super attached to those I develop romantic feelings for. After that we can be like sand bags. lol

  4. #24
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    sand bags, hahaha, oh man that's so wrong. XD

    hm, that sucks. I probly need to ask if she's ever been attached to someone as much as she is to me. She'd probly just say that I'm just a better friend than others have been, though. Oh well.
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  5. #25
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    sand bags, hahaha, oh man that's so wrong. XD

    hm, that sucks. I probly need to ask if she's ever been attached to someone as much as she is to me. She'd probly just say that I'm just a better friend than others have been, though. Oh well.
    Just because she's attached to you doesn't mean you should feel obligated to be her friend. Don't let her be a burden on you. In time she'll find someone else to attach to.

  6. #26
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    No, I like her as a friend a whole lot and we've become really close. I couldn't just stop being her friend, it's just an issue of over-attachment.

    Although when I told her I might be moving to Oklahoma for a couple of months to hang with some friends before finally moving to Seattle she did get somewhat used to the idea, although she still doesn't like it. haha
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  7. #27
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    No, I like her as a friend a whole lot and we've become really close. I couldn't just stop being her friend, it's just an issue of over-attachment.

    Although when I told her I might be moving to Oklahoma for a couple of months to hang with some friends before finally moving to Seattle she did get somewhat used to the idea, although she still doesn't like it. haha
    so she lives in .... florida, still? (forgot where you used to live)

  8. #28
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    No, Washington. I just lived there for a few months.
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  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    No, Washington. I just lived there for a few months.
    So you'll be moving nearer to her after spending a couple of months in Oklahoma?

  10. #30
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Yeah. I'm not moving there for her, though. I'm moving there because I love that place.
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