Have you never just told your mum the bolded part above. We get stuck in our own little world sometimes that we forget how the other person are feeling. I think no matter how sensitive someone is, people need to be told things just so they are aware. It's then up to them how to take this new information on board.
Maybe that is the difference between the I/E then. If someone can give me a better way, I'll take it on board. I am not one for extravagance anyway.