[MBTI General] How affectionate/touchy feely are you SJs/STJs?

[Sam Spade]

If I was in a relationship I would want to be. I don't much like being hugged by people I don't consider myself close to though.

 

[EJCC]

I usually let other people set the boundaries. Based on that, my touchy-feeliness level varies quite widely. Some people I don't hug/touch at all, and others I hug/touch ALL the time. I can't stress enough how much it depends on the person I'm with.

In a relationship, I think I'd be pretty affectionate. No PDAs, though, because it annoys me so much to watch that sort of behavior (I don't want to put others through it). And not much handholding. But LOADS of cuddles (in private)

 

[uberrogo]

very very affectionate/ touchy feely.

 

[Halla74]

I don't know if it's more of an I over E, but this is definitely one of developmental areas.

I don't know how to tell my girl this, but for me the only time that type of physical contact is necessary is when we're doin it!!

Otherwise I feel kind of smothered. For some reasons holding hands makes me feel some type of queezy if it's not leading to the do.

Anybody else?

I know one ESTJ who is wacked out and is deeply dependent on having someone in her life, even if the guy is just using her. It's sad. I think she has histrionic disorder and neurotic adult mode of attachment.

My Dad is a very healthy and wise older ESTJ male with a Master's in Education/Minored in Counseling and a retired Army Colonel, and he is the least touchy/feely person I've ever met. He is ALL business...except with the grandkids, whom he wrestles with and pesters until they are in fits of laughter. I guess very selective with his touchiness? And my Mom! He hugs her all the time. OK, I'm done.

 

[IZthe411]

I know one ESTJ who is wacked out and is deeply dependent on having someone in her life, even if the guy is just using her. It's sad. I think she has histrionic disorder and neurotic adult mode of attachment.

My Dad is a very healthy and wise older ESTJ male with a Master's in Education/Minored in Counseling and a retired Army Colonel, and he is the least touchy/feely person I've ever met. He is ALL business...except with the grandkids, whom he wrestles with and pesters until they are in fits of laughter. I guess very selective with his touchiness? And my Mom! He hugs her all the time. OK, I'm done.

I have typed my dad as an ISTJ- he wasn't the most affectionate dad, but with the grandkids he does show them more than he showed us kids. But he is quick to discipline them like he did us.

 

[JocktheMotie]

My ESTJ GF is not touchy-feely at all, but she likes to be touched.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

My ESTJ GF is not touchy-feely at all, but she likes to be touched.

Selfish.

J/k...

 

[JocktheMotie]

Selfish.

J/k...

Actually it is! :steam:

 

[IZthe411]

I feel like being touchy feely now!

 

[Glass Forest]

As an intj I think I'm a bit of an oddity in that I <3 hugs etc.

My 2 best friends are ISTJ, and they are pretty anti-hug. I just wanna hug them even though they don't want to, like a teddy bear

I feel awkward initiating hugs though, probably because I don't think they'll like it

 

[WickedQueen]

I sort of like holding hands or he grab my waist in public, showing ppl that he's mine.
But that's it. No more than that.

I find that I love touching and kissing and cuddling in private, but I hate sweet cheesy words. Blah! Don't give me words!

 

[d@v3]

It's hard to tell...I don't have much experience with it.

I would think if I were in a relationship, I'd want some physical contact. Like desiring to hold her hand, or run a hand through her hair--I remember being there. Can't tell how much more or less I'd want it compared to other people, because I lack that data, heh.

Family and friends: No, I don't really touch them at all. I hug my mom, because she insists. For long-standing bonds like that, I figure that they know where I stand with them. And I wonder if that's what would happen with a long-term girlfriend eventually...

Touch is a very personal thing for me, though. If I touch someone or let them touch me, it means something very important. Some profiles say that Si makes us "very aware of our bodies," so maybe that is one effect.

I can relate to this. Good post Cim.

The other day while getting groceries some lady whom I have not seen in a very long time came up to me and hugged me. It was completely spontaneous and I had no time to block it. I tried to stick my hand out to shake her hand but it was too late!

I don't usually hug my family much. I will hug my [very good] friends if I have no seen them in a long time.

Like Cim said, the sense of touch is very personal. We are very aware of our surroundings and what/who we are touching and what's/who's touching us!

I think if I were in a romantic relationship, it would be totally different with that girl. Of course, all that "cuddling" and stuff would ONLY happen in private.

 

[Giggly]

Intimacy with your SO is supposed to feel good, not bad.

 

[IZthe411]

I sort of like holding hands or he grab my waist in public, showing ppl that he's mine.
But that's it. No more than that.

I find that I love touching and kissing and cuddling in private, but I hate sweet cheesy words. Blah! Don't give me words!

As much as you hate receiving them, I hate to dish them out.

 

[IZthe411]

I can relate to this. Good post Cim.

The other day while getting groceries some lady whom I have not seen in a very long time came up to me and hugged me. It was completely spontaneous and I had no time to block it. I tried to stick my hand out to shake her hand but it was too late!

I don't usually hug my family much. I will hug my [very good] friends if I have no seen them in a long time.

Like Cim said, the sense of touch is very personal. We are very aware of our surroundings and what/who we are touching and what's/who's touching us!

I think if I were in a romantic relationship, it would be totally different with that girl. Of course, all that "cuddling" and stuff would ONLY happen in private.

In private, at 10:30pm on Tuesdays/Thursdays, when it's scheduled to happen.

 

[wrldisquiethere]

In a word: VERY.

And for the record, so is my boyfriend, who is definitely very strong "T."

 

[Max]

I can be. The only deal is that when I'm actually confronted with a situation where I would like to do so, I suddenly don't think it would be a good idea because of how the other person might react. But, I dunno, maybe that'll change soon.

 

[heart]

My fiance is a lucky one. I do like being physically affectionate with him. I love stroking his hair, hugging him randomly, etc... He just has those teddy bear qualities that make it easy to do for me I guess.

But he's an exception that I can't explain. I don't like hugs or kisses from my friends.

My father was INTJ and he was always hugging and kissing on my Mom but he seemed really uncomfortable hugging other people. He was also always petting the cats.

An ISTJ relative I know is very affectionate with children and cats but not at all with adults even their own spouse and it's caused problems in their marriage.

 

[IZthe411]

My father was INTJ and he was always hugging and kissing on my Mom but he seemed really uncomfortable hugging other people. He was also always petting the cats.

An ISTJ relative I know is very affectionate with children and cats but not at all with adults even their own spouse and it's caused problems in their marriage.

What's up with all the cat love in your family? LOL

I think affection is one area where it can be more subjective as opposed to objective for ISTJs.

 

[Lambchop]

I am extremly affectionate with my kids and husband. I like physical affection and words of affirmation. I have a few friends that I'm affectionate with as well, but not physically (unless I've been drinking and then I hug everyone!) In general, unless you know me really well, I am not a huggy, touchy feely kind of person. I am okay with some PDA with my husband, but not overly so or I get embarrassed and uncomfortable. My INFP husband used to HATE PDA when we were dating, but now he's very comfortable with it. Sometimes I have weird space issues with co-workers and stuff. Like I get uncomfortable if they stand too close to me and I definitely enjoy my personal space at work.