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[SJ] SJ's and Reading People

SubjectA

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Both my father (an ISTJ) and my fiance (an ISFJ) are very good at "reading people." They can quickly figured out what kind of person they are, and especially in my fiance's case, what kind of intentions they have, without hardly even interacting with that person. My fiance also takes it one step further and is able to sense how someone is feeling and is also easily able to tell if they're lying or not.

I thought this would be a hardcore intuitive thing, but apparently it's not. Can anyone explain this? SJ's, do you have the same ability?
 

swordpath

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I feel I'm pretty good at this as well. It's just analyzing a person - from their speech, their demeanor, attitude etc. It says a lot.
 

BerberElla

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Maybe they are, but sometimes the paranoia and suspician causes them to completely misread a person, since they are only using surface triggers to make the assessment.

My isfj friend does have an uncanny ability to read people, yet often her glass half empty assumptions about people mean that she could be wrong, but won't ever allow herself to find that out because of the snap judgements.
 

Rachelinpa

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I thought this would be a hardcore intuitive thing, but apparently it's not. Can anyone explain this? SJ's, do you have the same ability?

It's different for Ss it seems. They do seem to read me, but... it's different. Like, my ISFJ boyfriend notices when I am off, but it is only because I let him notice it with my physical behavior. It is an extremely subtle physical change, but it wasn't like "in the air" as it is with Ns who pick up on me acting differently. I find that I have to try harder to hide it from Ns than from Ss.
 

IZthe411

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Since we're grounded in the present, we are more aware of what's right in front of us.

I think most Ss have this ability.

I tend to think the worst- which is not good. But most times instead of assuming, I like to confirm that my understanding is right, especially with my girlfriend, so that I don't cause any unnecessary friction. If I don't get that opportunity to reconcile, or it will never present itself, I'll usually conclude the worst.
 

Poki

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It's different for Ss it seems. They do seem to read me, but... it's different. Like, my ISFJ boyfriend notices when I am off, but it is only because I let him notice it with my physical behavior. It is an extremely subtle physical change, but it wasn't like "in the air" as it is with Ns who pick up on me acting differently. I find that I have to try harder to hide it from Ns than from Ss.

We pick it up before you realize that we are even paying attention :) Once people realize you are looking at them there demeanor changes.
 

Rachelinpa

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We pick it up before you realize that we are even paying attention :) Once people realize you are looking at them there demeanor changes.

That's quite possible. I guess my point is that it seems to be based on what you see, more than what you sense.
 

Giggly

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We pick it up before you realize that we are even paying attention :) Once people realize you are looking at them there demeanor changes.

Uh huh. :yes:
 

Habba

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Well, I think I have a good ability to type people from photos, thanks to my Si. But sometimes I'm totally lost when people send "hidden messages". I have totally no idea of people's agendas. But I can see their personality from their clothing, facial expressions, the way the speak and move, etc.
 

Take Five

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Yes this is true. But the lie detecting does not always work.
 

Saslou

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I love reading people IRL, harder online. I watch what is said, how its said, the tone, the body language, all of it. I sense when something is up, you can't hide it from me. The lying bit i do struggle with esp if you keep the eye contact and the body language flowing even though everything inside of me tells me you are lying, too trusting.

Being an easy person to approach as i'll listen and help anyone, people have reeled off stuff about other people to me. Just need to ask the right questions and you get a pretty good idea of whats going on in their heads. To date, been pretty much spot on. :)
 

Cimarron

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I really don't think I do, not with people I'm meeting for the first time, anyway. I'm kind of naive in this area.

I can notice when someone is getting uncomfortable, while people seem to be overlooking it. That may be me putting myself in the person's shoes more than "picking up signals".
 

Fidelia

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What an interesting topic, SubjectA! I never thought of it in this way. It would make sense that a sensor's ability to take in detail and pay attention to physical surroundings without getting sidetracked with a head full of abstractions would allow for better observation of physical traits and behaviour. Can you imagine what a spidey-sense team for reading people we could make if we could combine the read between the lines abilities of the N with the ability to see what's in front them Ss?

I have read about the similarities between ENTP/ESTPs and yet their subtle differences and emphasis in interest make them a good team to work together. I wonder if pairings like ESTJ/ENTJ, ISTJ/INTJ, ESFJ/ENFJ, or ISFJ/INFJ could work together well in terms of reading people.
 

NewEra

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I'll tell you what, I am awful... AWFUL... at reading people. Things have to be clear and spoken out for me to understand them lol. This is why I can be indiscreet at times. Otherwise, it drains the hell out of me to try and read people.
 

EJCC

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^^^ I agree.

I dunno about anyone else, but I think my Sensing actually hinders me, with regards to reading people. It makes me take people at face value, which is a bad idea, because not everyone is honest. It sucks to think that someone is nice, and a potential friend, only to realize that they're, e.g, using you, or lying compulsively. Also, if someone gets upset at you because you didn't realize that they were feeling a certain way, even though they were disguising their feelings. Every NF I've ever met has been able to read those cues in other people, and many NTs as well (especially NT women), but not me - not in a million years!

If everyone could be judged at face value, though, I would be EXCELLENT at reading people.
 

poppy

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I have read about the similarities between ENTP/ESTPs and yet their subtle differences and emphasis in interest make them a good team to work together. I wonder if pairings like ESTJ/ENTJ, ISTJ/INTJ, ESFJ/ENFJ, or ISFJ/INFJ could work together well in terms of reading people.

My ISTJ and I do pretty well at taking in information between the two of us. I'm such a space case, but I can count on her to remember obvious things about people and situations and I can extrapolate that information as I see fit. We usually come to pretty similar conclusions about other people's behavior (other people probably think we're the duo of judgement).

I think that SFs can be very good at picking up cues from body language and tone of voice. SFPs seem to do this instantaneously, but SFJs have a better grasp on the long-term effects of a person's current emotional/mental state based on current behavioral cues. In other words, SFJs keep it in mind whereas SFPs will move on to the next thing.
 

Sam Spade

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I've been told that I'm good at reading people as long as I'm not infatuated with them.
 

NewEra

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^^^ I agree.

I dunno about anyone else, but I think my Sensing actually hinders me, with regards to reading people. It makes me take people at face value, which is a bad idea, because not everyone is honest. It sucks to think that someone is nice, and a potential friend, only to realize that they're, e.g, using you, or lying compulsively. Also, if someone gets upset at you because you didn't realize that they were feeling a certain way, even though they were disguising their feelings. Every NF I've ever met has been able to read those cues in other people, and many NTs as well (especially NT women), but not me - not in a million years!

If everyone could be judged at face value, though, I would be EXCELLENT at reading people.

Yup. Actually that's what has driven me to why not readily trust people. It usually takes a little while to earn my trust.
 

Fidelia

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Hmm, I never knew that. You don't readily trust them because you can't read them, or because they are deliberately hiding their true feelings? It looks like there is a split in reading people developing between the STJs and the SFJs.
 

NewEra

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Hmm, I never knew that. You don't readily trust them because you can't read them, or because they are deliberately hiding their true feelings? It looks like there is a split in reading people developing between the STJs and the SFJs.

It's because I can't read clearly. I'm not sure what they're deliberately hiding, because frankly I don't know. I've learned you really can't trust a person too closely, and to take things with a grain of salt.
 
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