Hi. My mother is an ISXJ. I love her. She is sweet, quiet, kind, analytical, and often quite maddening.
One thing in particular is that she seems incapable of understanding people who are iNtuitive. This includes my father, who she's been married to for 27 years. Like, he'll get pissed off and she'll be all pouty about how he doesn't make sense and *she* would never act like that and I'll point out like "considerign this thing that happened recently maybe he feels like this so he's responding like that, which he usually does when he's feeling that way," and she'll be like "oooooooh, I didn't think of that." Sometimes I struggle not to look over at her and say "please tell me this is some cruel joke and you're not actually that dense."
Or, she doesn't seem to acknowledge that people change. So, I don't like the color purple anymore, but I did when I was a child (and it's like she committed my childhood to memory and now can't see me beyond what I said or did or liked back then 10+ years ago) so she'll buy me something purple, instead of green (which has been my favorite beside blue for about five years), and I just smile and say thanks but deep down I'm hurt that she doesn't know me. But, if I bring it up she'll be like "well, you *used to* an I have this and this good memory of when you were a little girl and I *try so hard*...
She also has what I have dubbed the "loaded oh." It's the word she says to convey all negative emotions, and the intonation is so nuanced I could shoot myself sometimes trying to figure it out. And, she will make you work to figure it out. No freebees from her, no sirreee. I think she considers my near-constant emoting secretly disgusting.
Ok, I won't go on. The point is, I've got some things figured out, but these, this clinging to a single idea, that desperation to not be blamed (and this extends to all authority, she's traumatized just by the thought of being reprimanded, she'd probably have a heart attack if she got a speeding ticket), completely baffle me. I'm an INFP that walks the line between that and an ENFP. I consider myself fairly able to figure most people and their motivations out but she just...baffles and frustrates me. I wonder if I'm too close to the situation and perhaps someone else could shed some light.
Thank you so much for your time. <- in advance