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  1. #1
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Default "Everything you do has to make sense"

    So says my girlfriend who had this disbelief that I don't want kids. At least at this point.

    She feels that there should be no cut and dry, sensical conclusion towards having kids, yet in her case she's 'undecided'. LOL.

    I'd rather know where I stand with the issue than be undecided. At least with me there's no surprises!

  2. #2
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    At least with me there's no surprises!
    I hope your having safe sex so you can properly back that statement up.

  3. #3
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    LOL, how very ISTJ of you. Well, you can decide all you want..but chances are that biology will take over. I was and still am not interested in children, but my bioclock has started and softened me up on the issue. I'm terrified to know what it will be like in a few years. So if your gf is not 30 yet..you can decide up the wazoo, it won't matter
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  4. #4
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaphours View Post
    I hope your having safe sex so you can properly back that statement up.

    Of course we are! LOL

  5. #5
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    I don't see much problem in having to do everything in a sensible manner- especially since what 'makes sense' is a somewhat subjective term..
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  6. #6
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    I think she's just saying that she's not sure because probably on one hand she may not want kids yet but on the other hand, she may feel the need to "please society" and "go with the flow" which is why a lot of people end up having kids in the first place (not a good reason, fyi). I think having kids is something you have a gut feeling about. If you want kids you have kids, if you don't, you don't

  7. #7
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaphours View Post
    I think she's just saying that she's not sure because probably on one hand she may not want kids yet but on the other hand, she may feel the need to "please society" and "go with the flow" which is why a lot of people end up having kids in the first place (not a good reason, fyi). I think having kids is something you have a gut feeling about. If you want kids you have kids, if you don't, you don't
    I agree!
    Also having kids is a huge commitment!!
    It all matters by how willing you are to make it..
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  8. #8
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    I agree!
    Also having kids is a huge commitment!!
    It all matters by how willing you are to make it..
    Yeah, commitment is a big factor as well, because kids aren't like other commitments, you don't have the option to just drop out and be like, "Well it wasn't for me." If you want kids and end up having kids thats a commitment you make for life, not just something you can disown at your discretion! lol

  9. #9
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    LOL, how very ISTJ of you. Well, you can decide all you want..but chances are that biology will take over. I was and still am not interested in children, but my bioclock has started and softened me up on the issue. I'm terrified to know what it will be like in a few years. So if your gf is not 30 yet..you can decide up the wazoo, it won't matter
    She'll be 30 in December.

    I might be softened, which is why I said at least at this point! I don't disagree that I might feel differently later.

    I'm more baffled by her reaction to that news, like when I said undecided when we first discussed it (she said I initially said 'undecided'), that it was undecided more leaning towards yes.

    I really think her 'undecided' is a safe answer, when it's really more yes than undecided.

  10. #10
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    I don't see much problem in having to do everything in a sensible manner- especially since what 'makes sense' is a somewhat subjective term..
    Well she's ISFP, and knowing what I know about her, she doesn't have a lot of experience with T males. She grew up with all sisters, and a father that I would typeset as some kind of F, and her one brother in law she's known the longest I have typeset (not yet confirmed) at ENFJ.

    So for her, I'm from another planet, in more ways than one. LOL

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