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[ISTJ] "Everything you do has to make sense"

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
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Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
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So says my girlfriend who had this disbelief that I don't want kids. At least at this point.

She feels that there should be no cut and dry, sensical conclusion towards having kids, yet in her case she's 'undecided'. LOL.

I'd rather know where I stand with the issue than be undecided. At least with me there's no surprises!
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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LOL, how very ISTJ of you. Well, you can decide all you want..but chances are that biology will take over. I was and still am not interested in children, but my bioclock has started and softened me up on the issue. I'm terrified to know what it will be like in a few years. So if your gf is not 30 yet..you can decide up the wazoo, it won't matter :D
 

Mondo

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I don't see much problem in having to do everything in a sensible manner- especially since what 'makes sense' is a somewhat subjective term..
 

metaphours

cast shadows
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I think she's just saying that she's not sure because probably on one hand she may not want kids yet but on the other hand, she may feel the need to "please society" and "go with the flow" which is why a lot of people end up having kids in the first place (not a good reason, fyi). I think having kids is something you have a gut feeling about. If you want kids you have kids, if you don't, you don't :D
 

Mondo

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I think she's just saying that she's not sure because probably on one hand she may not want kids yet but on the other hand, she may feel the need to "please society" and "go with the flow" which is why a lot of people end up having kids in the first place (not a good reason, fyi). I think having kids is something you have a gut feeling about. If you want kids you have kids, if you don't, you don't :D

I agree!
Also having kids is a huge commitment!!
It all matters by how willing you are to make it..
 

metaphours

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I agree!
Also having kids is a huge commitment!!
It all matters by how willing you are to make it..

Yeah, commitment is a big factor as well, because kids aren't like other commitments, you don't have the option to just drop out and be like, "Well it wasn't for me." If you want kids and end up having kids thats a commitment you make for life, not just something you can disown at your discretion! lol
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
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LOL, how very ISTJ of you. Well, you can decide all you want..but chances are that biology will take over. I was and still am not interested in children, but my bioclock has started and softened me up on the issue. I'm terrified to know what it will be like in a few years. So if your gf is not 30 yet..you can decide up the wazoo, it won't matter :D

She'll be 30 in December.

I might be softened, which is why I said at least at this point! I don't disagree that I might feel differently later.

I'm more baffled by her reaction to that news, like when I said undecided when we first discussed it (she said I initially said 'undecided'), that it was undecided more leaning towards yes.

I really think her 'undecided' is a safe answer, when it's really more yes than undecided.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
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I don't see much problem in having to do everything in a sensible manner- especially since what 'makes sense' is a somewhat subjective term..

Well she's ISFP, and knowing what I know about her, she doesn't have a lot of experience with T males. She grew up with all sisters, and a father that I would typeset as some kind of F, and her one brother in law she's known the longest I have typeset (not yet confirmed) at ENFJ.

So for her, I'm from another planet, in more ways than one. LOL
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
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Yeah, commitment is a big factor as well, because kids aren't like other commitments, you don't have the option to just drop out and be like, "Well it wasn't for me." If you want kids and end up having kids thats a commitment you make for life, not just something you can disown at your discretion! lol

Yeah, at 31, with this bleak economy situation and rising costs, let alone this crazy world, I don't want to bring a kid into the world to experience it. No sir.
 

metaphours

cast shadows
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Yeah, at 31, with this bleak economy situation and rising costs, let alone this crazy world, I don't want to bring a kid into the world to experience it. No sir.

I disagree with that statement, I think life is the greatest gift a human can give, and hey, everyone from the dawn of time has had to experience the "horrors of the world" it's just a part of life.
 

IZthe411

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I disagree with that statement, I think life is the greatest gift a human can give, and hey, everyone from the dawn of time has had to experience the "horrors of the world" it's just a part of life.

Well there you go. It makes all the sense in the world to me. When things are better for humankind, I'll bring a life into the world.

Until then, I'll have over one of my 20+ nieces or nephews for a weekend of fun, then come Monday ship em back home!

Or I could have one night of unplanned, unprotected fun (with my wife) and start planning to be a daddy. I wouldn't be too disappointed at that.
 

metaphours

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Well there you go. It makes all the sense in the world to me. When things are better for humankind, I'll bring a life into the world.

Until then, I'll have over one of my 20+ nieces or nephews for a weekend of fun, then come Monday ship em back home!

Or I could have one night of unplanned, unprotected fun (with my wife) and start planning to be a daddy. I wouldn't be too disappointed at that.

You completely disregarded my statement. What I'm saying is that the "badness" of the world as you so put it, is just a fact of life. Since the dawn of man we've been faced with extermination and we've managed to succeed surviving through all this time. That's the basis of human life right there - survival. I'm not trying to preach to you like saying "HAVE A BABY NAO!!111!!" or something like that. On the contrary. All I'm saying is that regardless of the times, it's always going to be bleak, and whether or not you have the kid soon or 20 years from now, the world's outlook will always be "bleak." There will always be something wrong with the world to give people like you an excuse to not have a kid, when in reality it's always going to be like that. It's not like world peace will ever be achieved! It's not in our nature, it's a bunch of bullshit! So there's always gonna be something that makes the world "bad" and your kid is just going to have to face it, just like you did when you were a kid and just like the rest of the world has to at some point or another.
 

IZthe411

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You completely disregarded my statement. What I'm saying is that the "badness" of the world as you so put it, is just a fact of life. Since the dawn of man we've been faced with extermination and we've managed to succeed surviving through all this time. That's the basis of human life right there - survival. I'm not trying to preach to you like saying "HAVE A BABY NAO!!111!!" or something like that. On the contrary. All I'm saying is that regardless of the times, it's always going to be bleak, and whether or not you have the kid soon or 20 years from now, the world's outlook will always be "bleak"

Okay, that makes more sense. You have a good point. Maybe I'll never have a kid in this world, at my rate.
 

metaphours

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Okay, that makes more sense. You have a good point. Maybe I'll never have a kid in this world, at my rate.

Yeah whatever, but don't come crying to me when you're 50 and realize that you should've had your kid 20 years ago.
 

Saslou

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LOL I won't. I'll get a puppy. LOL

No, get a cat. They come and go as they please, in the house of course, can't let them out.
You also have to walk a dog, come rain or shine. ;)
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
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resorting to "lols" doesn't back you out of a netgument, i know that all to well

Oh, we're arguing? :huh: LOL.

What I see is you've got your viewpoint on it, but regardless of what you say, I'm going to stick to mines. No need for me to keep asserting my point over this forum. I'd rather see you in person, have a good drink, and go at it face to face, if it needs to continue.

At the rate this world is going (worse than ever), I'm not inclined to reproduce. If it happens, I'll accept it and be a good father, but it's not in my immediate plan.

I don't know what MBTI type it is, but they like to argue for the sake of arguing. IZ is not that type.
 
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