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Thread: ISFJ vs. ESFJ

  1. #11
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    One out of 3 isn't to bad. Not every ESFJ is an hostess and live for it.
    But the last one, you was right about.
    Obviously from my experience.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    I agree with number 4 too!

    Edited: For myself that is
    My #4 or her #4? You are an ISFJ, correct?

    I think what people should remember is that introversion vs. extroversion is not necessarily about how outgoing a person is. It has more to do with whether or not they receive more energy from being alone/with a small group of people or from a large group of family and friends.

    I don't have to be around 100 people to have a fun time, but my ideal group size is about 10 friends at a time. In that setting, at a party I'm hosting, I literally come alive.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  2. #12
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I can be around family and bounce off the walls.
    I can home alone and be talking to Eiddy on here and again i am bouncing off her vibes.

    I can go days without seeing my family or any other adult interaction. Me and my brother are the same (both E). That is because of how we were brought up though. Free spirits, independence and you want it, you get it was pushed on us as kids.

    Every ESFJ and ISFJ are going to behave slightly different although having some shared characteristics as all of us have different life experiences.
    And never one to want to be placed into a box ....
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #13
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrldisquiethere View Post
    My #4 or her #4? You are an ISFJ, correct?

    I think what people should remember is that introversion vs. extroversion is not necessarily about how outgoing a person is. It has more to do with whether or not they receive more energy from being alone or with a small group of people or from a large group of family and friends.

    I don't have to be around 100 people to have a fun time, but my ideal group size is about 10 friends at a time.
    With Sas's number 4.

    So true about the extroversion and introversion. My ideal group size is 2, or 3. I'm always thinking if I have excluded someone from a conversation and then start wondering off into all these thoughts. So with 2 or 3 it is easier to create a sense of close companionship as long as the energy is evenly distributed amongst the three. I do prefer one other person much more, since I would hate to feel like the third wheel should the exclusion fall upon me. I think I will go drown myself now, how dreadful the thoughts are.
    Johari / Nohari

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  4. #14
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I can be around family and bounce off the walls.
    I can home alone and be talking to Eiddy on here and again i am bouncing off her vibes.

    I can go days without seeing my family or any other adult interaction. Me and my brother are the same (both E). That is because of how we were brought up though. Free spirits, independence and you want it, you get it was pushed on us as kids.

    Every ESFJ and ISFJ are going to behave slightly different although having some shared characteristics as all of us have different life experiences.
    And never one to want to be placed into a box ....
    I am definitely not trying to second-guess your type. You know yourself better than I do. I just meant to throw that in about E/I as a general thought pertinent to the conversation, not directed at you.

    One thing I am thinking through is that you have children and I'm sure they require a great deal of your attention and you feel your responsibility to them. I am single and do not have children, and my time is more my own at this phase of my life. Even since having a boyfriend, my social life has slowed down a bit to make time for him, and I'm sure once kids enter the picture it will change in some ways again as my primary responsibility will be to my family. I definitely have dreams of being a wife/mother who hosts dinner parties and takes her children and their friends to the zoo for birthdays, but I know that the reality of life is that children are draining and this kind of thing is not always possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    With Sas's number 4.

    So true about the extroversion and introversion. My ideal group size is 2, or 3. I'm always thinking if I have excluded someone from a conversation and then start wondering off into all these thoughts. So with 2 or 3 it is easier to create a sense of close companionship as long as the energy is evenly distributed amongst the three. I do prefer one other person much more, since I would hate to feel like the third wheel should the exclusion fall upon me. I think I will go drown myself now, how dreadful the thoughts are.
    But that's the fun and the challenge of it! If you have at least ten people, it means that at least two conversations are going on at all times! The challenge is to go back and forth between the different groups, participate in conversation in both, and make everyone feel equally welcome!
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  5. #15
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrldisquiethere View Post
    I am definitely not trying to second-guess your type. You know yourself better than I do. I just meant to throw that in about E/I as a general thought pertinent to the conversation, not directed at you.

    One thing I am thinking through is that you have children and I'm sure they require a great deal of your attention and you feel your responsibility to them. I am single and do not have children, and my time is more my own at this phase of my life. Even since having a boyfriend, my social life has slowed down a bit to make time for him, and I'm sure once kids enter the picture it will change in some ways again as my primary responsibility will be to my family. I definitely have dreams of being a wife/mother who hosts dinner parties and takes her children and their friends to the zoo for birthdays, but I know that the reality of life is that children are draining and this kind of thing is not always possible.

    I know you are not trying to do that darling. I suppose having them come first before me, yeah, i neglected to have/keep a social life. I did go out on some work do's and have a great time. I have just never invited anyone round to eat with me and the kids. My little world is safe. I want to keep it that way.

    I have never been invited to a dinner party until i got to Canada, all about networking apparantly. Although slightly anxious at first as the hostess i only knew from a online forum. I had a brilliant time. And i made 2 friend who i have on facebook.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #16
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrldisquiethere View Post

    But that's the fun and the challenge of it! If you have at least ten people, it means that at least two conversations are going on at all times! The challenge is to go back and forth between the different groups, participate in conversation in both, and make everyone feel equally welcome!
    Sound like a waitressing job I had for two days and made a grand total.... of... 50 cents Only because I kept a guy's cup of coffee filled. Couldn't remember orders, forget to ask how they wanted their eggs done, if they wanted a side of toast or something else with that etc. It was the worst nightmare of a job I had. lol Hostessing, seems kind of the same and is not for the faint at heart.
    Johari / Nohari

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  7. #17
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    Both are very homely. The females are stereotypical females. Both like to plan.

    My mother is an ISFJ, and has to be very coerced into doing anything socially. I have to use all my ENFP social persuasive powers to get her to do anything out of the house. She's more than game to have me over to her place and watch a movie. The stay at home type.

    A close ESFJ friend is very social. She's not like ExxP's with the crazy extroversion. But she always has social plans. And is a very good host, BTW.
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  8. #18
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    My mother is an ESFJ, she can be on the phone with her sister-in-law for HHHOOUURRRSSS!!! :rolli:

    She loves to be a hostess and clean and what not.

    She also likes to go out and socialize, but ONLY after all work is completed. Work before play... I guess thats where I get my 'SJ' from!
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  9. #19
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Si vs Fe.

    ISFJ is more insular. More bound to a self beaten path.
    ESFJ is more populist. Makes calculations off of prevailing sentiments.

    ESFJ tries to work with the convention, however it may change. The ISFJ has convinction to stick to what it knows.

    That's a really simple description, and probably has all the pitfalls of one. I tried to twice to write an in depths response to this, but I realized that I didn't need to be editing a thesis for this thread.
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  10. #20
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the input guys! It was really helpful I thought there was a pretty fine line between these two, only because my mom, who I believe is an ESFJ, -does- like her time to herself. But she definitely plays the role of the initiating Extrovert, without seeming super outgoing. She took a personality test that measured how much she used each function, and Fe was definitely the highest, followed by Si. However, the rest of her function order implied ISFJ, so that's what she scored as. After reading all these posts though, I still think she leans more toward ESFJ.

    One more question, do you ESFJs do a lot of introverted activities like reading? My mom's always been a bookworm. But at the same time, she likes being involved in competitive group sports and games.

    Another point of interest... it seems SFJ guys are -very- different from SFJ girls... or do y'all disagree?

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