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Thread: ISTJ: how do i know if im annoying you?

  1. #31
    Junior Member Array
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    Jul 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    If he's that way, he may not say, "yes, you're being kind of annoying" when you ask him. If you rephrase it by assuming he already thinks you're annoying, you may get more info. As in, you tell him, "I'm sorry if I've been annoying you," as it shows that you are aware of your own annoying behavior, and automatically makes you more virtuous in his eyes. What I'm saying is that even if he had been annoyed by you, with that approach he may soften up already.

    If not enough to turn his opinion around, it will probably at least expose it. Meaning, if he hasn't been annoyed by you, he will just say that: "You're not annoying" with a confused look that implies "why would you think that?" Otherwise, he will take it as you admitting that you've been annoying and haven't meant to be, in which case he will probably downplay it with "It's okay" or something similar.

    The good part about this approach, though, is that even if he had been annoyed, this kind of thing will really clear some tension from the air afterward.

    Well, that was a little specific. I'm going through that based on what I might have said and done if I'd been the possibly-annoyed person. It's also how I've learned to bring up this "being annoying" issue with others.
    That advice is spot on from my experience. I actually just did that before reading your post

    He told me i wasn't annoying and that i should stop being paranoid

  2. #32
    IRL is not real Array Cimarron's Avatar
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    Aug 2008
    5w6 sp/so


    Haha, oh good. See, you knew what to do. And that sounds like a positive answer.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #33


    If I am annoyed, you will usually hear me sigh,so as to let you know without being I'm in a hurry. You might also see my eyes close for about 1.5 seconds. The longer they are closed, the more annoyed I am. I also might break eye contact and somewhere else (usually up or down), and widen my eyes and nod as you are talking to me. But I'm not exactly sure if all ISTJs are this way.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Array Amira's Avatar
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    Dec 2008


    He told me i wasn't annoying and that i should stop being paranoid
    Cool. I was going to add some things but it looks like the topic has been pretty well covered. And I agree with those who said they usually aren't annoyed easily - neither am I, I can only think of a couple people that if I saw them coming I would want to avoid them due to them being annoying. One of them is the most negative person I have EVER met in my whole life and the other is one of the most manipulative people ever... Otherwise, for me personally I might get mildly annoyed if someone is dragging something out way longer than it needs to be and ignoring my "I need to hurry signals." Otherwise I feel confident than I can usually redirect conversations I am not enjoying so being annoyed at people is not something I think about much. Please don't mistake my calm stoneface for annoyance - I'm just in neutral/thinking and probably quite cheerful!
    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

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