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  1. #1
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Default ISFJs thoughts on intimacy

    When I say intimacy I mean bondedness, closeness, romance, etc. If you are an ISFJ or know an ISFJ, in general, what are other ISFJs like when it comes to intimacy?
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  2. #2
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I'm dating an INFJ. She's very touchy-feely and grabs my package in public. I guess that's intimacy.

  3. #3
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    I'm dating an INFJ. She's very touchy-feely and grabs my package in public. I guess that's intimacy.
    That's PASSION! Not intimacy.
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  4. #4
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I think I work towards intimacy without thinking. I'd feel out of sorts without intimacy. It's interesting that make the distinction between passion and intimacy. I think you are right and yeah they are often confused and/or substituted for each other.

  5. #5

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    Well personally, I like intimacy and would try to cultivate it in a relationship. And I like all of those words you said in your first phrase.

  6. #6
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    I also love intimacy, but it has to be cultivated before passion comes along or else it would just be considered lust.

    Intimacy, for me, is being close without sexual connotations. It's just basic cuddling up beside someone, having a meaningful conversation, or spending some quiet time with a SO. Sex is something else entirely, at least for me it is.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
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    I get asked a lot of questions regarding my feelings or what I'm thinking. He said that he wants me to open up to him more. It's very very hard for me to do because I hate feeling vulnerable to anyone, but I'm learning. I just wish he'd do the same.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Bondedness - Sitting in a room and not having to speak. Going to the chemist for medicine when i am poorly. Bouncing ideas off each other and not taking offence.

    Closeness - Stroking your hand, resting my head on your lap. cuddling in bed. A kiss before we part.

    Romance - Going out for a meal. Buying a practical gift for no reason other than i saw it and thought of you.

    You pretty such get all the above immediately with me. Although the closeness may take a little longer than the other 2.
    Like Eiddy said though about the sex. Although it has elements of the above, it is still seperate.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
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  9. #9
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    I also love intimacy, but it has to be cultivated before passion comes along or else it would just be considered lust.

    Intimacy, for me, is being close without sexual connotations. It's just basic cuddling up beside someone, having a meaningful conversation, or spending some quiet time with a SO. Sex is something else entirely, at least for me it is.
    See I want intimacy in sex. I think sex is best when you do it to get closer, more bonded, express how you feel about each other, slow and heavy emotionally. I mean, sex that has a lot of passion of course is great but I find it interesting that for you it's totally separate.
    E - 79% I - 21%
    S - 53% N - 47%
    T - 32% F - 68%
    J - 32% P - 68%

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  10. #10
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubjectA View Post
    I get asked a lot of questions regarding my feelings or what I'm thinking. He said that he wants me to open up to him more. It's very very hard for me to do because I hate feeling vulnerable to anyone, but I'm learning. I just wish he'd do the same.
    Yes INTJs really don't like to be vulnerable and express their emotions. Often times, I think they really couldn't tell you what they're feeling. But part of the joy of having feelings is the reward you get from expressing them and being vulnerable. It enriches your relationship and makes you feel the good feelings.
    E - 79% I - 21%
    S - 53% N - 47%
    T - 32% F - 68%
    J - 32% P - 68%

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