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  1. #21
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Yes, I kill spontaneity. Mercilessly and gruesomely.

    But in all seriousness, yeah, I'm not big on it. If someone gives me a last-minute idea, I'm almost definitely going to say no. I wish I didn't do that, but I do. I'm fine with spontaneity when I don't have important plans, though. One example...
    Friend: Hey, wanna go to a party tonight?
    Me: Sure! I'm available.
    (My previous plan had been watching TV all evening. I was still a bit annoyed for the short notice, but my plans weren't that important and the new plan sounded more fun.)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #22
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Because I am strong J myself. One of the rare things that can I really enjoy is planning and killing sponteneity. However there a differences since my N is quite strong as well. Which means that I usually see outcomes more clearly then SJs so that makes difference in planning. For example I do less micro-managment then a typical SJ and I don't get annoyed by changes in plan that much. However I prefer organized to unorganized always.
    I know you like killing sponteneity, but by occasionally thinking outside of the box (acting on spur of the moment ideas) and opening yourself up to new ideas, are you not then limiting your exposure to new ideas and experiences?
    Afterall that is what life is supposed to be about, learning and growing.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #23
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I know you like killing sponteneity, but by occasionally thinking outside of the box (acting on spur of the moment ideas) and opening yourself up to new ideas, are you not then limiting your exposure to new ideas and experiences?
    Afterall that is what life is supposed to be about, learning and growing.
    What makes you think I don't think outside the box ?

  4. #24
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ozz View Post
    Do you plan to beat the killer of spontaneity out of him by being more spontaneous? That might not work very well.
    Of course! No. It's okay. He's funny. I'll keep him around. I think maybe it's a time thing... and eventually we'll just get used to it and it'll be less annoying and more endearing. Yay!

  5. #25
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Fascinating. I often love being awakened from my slumber for a random conversation. It makes me feel thought of and loved.
    Being awakened and having one's rest disturbed to talk about feelings
    vs
    Not being awakened and being granted a restful night and then having someone sharing their feelings.

    For me, it's a no-brainer.

    I plan to maximize the fun. If I have only limited amount of time, I want to make sure it will be spent most efficiently so that the time together will be maximized. Nothing annoys me more than having all the time wasted because of poor planning.

    But plans should never be static. One can't see the future, so one should always be prepared for the changes, and be ready to adapt The Plan to fit the situation with utmost efficiency. That's why I always have plans up to letter T.

    It's true that SJs are subject to be too rigid with their plans. It's just so easy to say "No" for everything that was not planned beforehand. I have learned to say yes to spontaneity when it calls and my plans are of minor importance.

    But learn to value SJs for their stability and ability avoid catastrophes through careful planning! When all things fail, turn to the nearest SJ.

    Edit: I think Yes-man was such a great movie about SJness and spontaneity. Not enough, and you are boring. Too much, and you get yourself in serious problems.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  6. #26
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    At all. If anything, she plans for the possibility, which obviously defeats the purpose. She doesn't like her routine to be violated at all, so if I suggest alternative it just doesn't happen.

    Like Rachel said, one "event" is typically enough for her and she'll be done for the rest of the night.
    Busted... thanks Jock. You have revealed the SJ strategy to avoiding spontaneity. *starts writing a new strategy*

    I'll admit it is a good idea... but how can you be certain if the person you want to be spontaneous with isn't busy? If I am already committed to something else, chances are I will not going to the "event" that night with you. Committment is almost the same as a promise. It would not be efficient if you put all the work into planning a "surprise" party for someone only to find they don't show up because they are out of town. LOL
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Busted... thanks Jock. You have revealed the SJ strategy to avoiding spontaneity. *starts writing a new strategy*

    I'll admit it is a good idea... but how can you be certain if the person you want to be spontaneous with isn't busy? If I am already committed to something else, chances are I will not going to the "event" that night with you. Committment is almost the same as a promise. It would not be efficient if you put all the work into planning a "surprise" party for someone only to find they don't show up because they are out of town. LOL
    This is a problem, on my end. It is difficult to execute surprises or anything of that sort simply because they conflict with the expectation of her day, and make her uncomfortable. Funnily enough, I am required to outplan her if I want to surprise her, which is no easy task. Over our time together, she has slowly begun to realize that she is the largest obstacle when it comes to "cutting loose" a bit and she has gotten better.

    And D@ve, if you want to surprise someone like that, you need to make plans to go out with them beforehand, and just take them to the new location.



  8. #28
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    What makes you think I don't think outside the box ?
    Quote you .. One of the rare things that can I really enjoy is planning and killing sponteneity.
    Is not being spontaneous thinking outside the box?
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  9. #29
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Quote you .. One of the rare things that can I really enjoy is planning and killing sponteneity.
    Is not being spontaneous thinking outside the box?
    I don't think they're related to each other. Thinking outside the box is thinking about something in different and novel ways. Sponteaneity is just... being impulsive and spur-of-the-moment.

  10. #30
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Usually when I attempt to be spontaneous, I end up saying... "wtf was I thinking?! " Hence, the planning.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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