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  1. #1
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Default how to seduce an ISFJ?

    I searched to see if this was already a thread and nothing came up but if someone does find it, my apologizes and I'll try to delete this. So anyway, if it's not already a topic that's been discussed, how does someone seduce an ISFJ? I'm guessing do their dishes?
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    No idea - Lots of light teasing works for me. Give me the opportunity to poke fun back at you. This of course is the slow method.

    You could just go and make it so OBVIOUS that they will just naturally start thinking about you.

  3. #3
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Having a good sense of humour often helps.
    Um, yeah.

  4. #4
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Put them in some sort of fake danger and then come to their rescue.

    The closer your romance lines up with classic Disney movie storylines the better the chances you'll get the ISFJ.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    I think many ISFJs have a low self-esteem. They are used give-in for others, and are constantly afraid of being seen as rude or selfish. They like to help others and have a need to be needed.

    Therefore, make sure that the ISFJ has noticed that you have noticed him/her. Give them a chance to help you, and be sure to show that you couldn't have done it without their help. Someone referred ISFJs as "Sidekicks". That would mean that they are looking for someone they can help and support.

    But generally ISFJs are somewhat reserved in these matters.

    Use my advices at your own risk.

    (Oh, and if I sounded harsh towards ISFJs, I didn't mean to be harsh. They are just the kind of people you always find helping and looking after for you. )
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  6. #6
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    I think many ISFJs have a low self-esteem. They are used give-in for others, and are constantly afraid of being seen as rude or selfish. They like to help others and have a need to be needed.

    Therefore, make sure that the ISFJ has noticed that you have noticed him/her. Give them a chance to help you, and be sure to show that you couldn't have done it without their help. Someone referred ISFJs as "Sidekicks". That would mean that they are looking for someone they can help and support.

    But generally ISFJs are somewhat reserved in these matters.

    Use my advices at your own risk.

    (Oh, and if I sounded harsh towards ISFJs, I didn't mean to be harsh. They are just the kind of people you always find helping and looking after for you. )
    Low self-esteem sidekicks that will always give in?! I don't think so. Yes, I like to help others, but most of time I consider my energy and resources. If I helped everyone or did something everyone wants I wouldn't have time to sleep. I would rather live the life of a hermit and go into hiding than have to take care of everyone. What reason would I need to be rude or selfish unless it is to defend myself, like any other person.

    As for the OP, make it apparent enough that you are interested in them. Smile softly when they look your way. Spend a little more time talking about things that matter.
    Johari / Nohari

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  7. #7
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenParker View Post
    I'm guessing do their dishes?
    I wouldn't think so. It's not about an act of service on your behalf, they feel good about themselves when they can do something for others so it's more about noticing when they do something selfless for you, the best way to please them and demonstrate that you care is to show appreciation for all the things they do for others.

  8. #8
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    I wouldn't think so. It's not about an act of service on your behalf, they feel good about themselves when they can do something for others so it's more about noticing when they do something selfless for you, the best way to please them and demonstrate that you care is to show appreciation for all the things they do for others.
    I agree with this. I'm not sure this example is what you were getting at, but when I was going over to meet up with my ex (going out at the time), she offered for me to sleep over the night instead of meeting up then going home - we lived two hours apart, so. When I politely declined, "Oh no, I don't want to take up your time any longer than I have to", she kept insisting I stay over. I showed my appreciation by giving her a hug afterwards.
    Um, yeah.

  9. #9
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    I wouldn't think so. It's not about an act of service on your behalf, they feel good about themselves when they can do something for others so it's more about noticing when they do something selfless for you, the best way to please them and demonstrate that you care is to show appreciation for all the things they do for others.
    +1

    Grungemouse that is very sweet. Those are the moments we cherish. It seems you do to.
    Johari / Nohari

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  10. #10
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    I wouldn't think so. It's not about an act of service on your behalf, they feel good about themselves when they can do something for others so it's more about noticing when they do something selfless for you, the best way to please them and demonstrate that you care is to show appreciation for all the things they do for others.
    I think this is a changeable thing, my friend really treasures the times that her partner takes the load off of her. She is very very self sacrificing, and fights him all the way when he tries to do things for her, but she flushes with pleasure so much when he insists and helps ease the pressure off of her.

    In the sense of showing appreciation to her for the things she does, that's only if the things she does are for you. Showing appreciation for the things she does for other people doesn't take away the small resentments she can build up towards the people she is doing far too much for.

    They need to show her they appreciate it, not you.

    Or at least this is how it is with my isfj friend. She is female though, and the OP's ISFJ is male, I could see the traditional part of an isfj enjoying a man providing for her in a mans role, so very much appreciating it if he put up a shelf for her, an isfj male I would assume would have a different desire.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

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