[SJ] SJ's & Dating Standards?

[NewEra]

- Good-looking
- Empathetic, kind
- Laughs at my jokes, respects me
- Not pushy

 

[Amira]

Well, I have quite high standards but they pretty much have to do with his character and his personality and goals meshing with mine enough. I care very little about appearance. Kind of hard to elaborate here, though.

 

[Tiny Army]

I don't like the idea of pre-conceived standards. They tend to ruin most experiences for me. Even movies. If I have expectations for a movie I am definitely going to be disappointed.

As dating goes my standards end at "Doesn't reek like a trash can in June" and "Isn't a mother fetishist."

 

[d@v3]

Lists, Yay!

• Likes me a lot and is nice to me
• Faithful/loyal
• Manly
• Intelligent
• Respectful of people
• Quiet and a bit anti-social

Hmmm.... interesting.... Can you be a bit more descriptive than "manly"? How is a guy to find you if he is anti-social? I don't understand.

 

[Giggly]

Hmmm.... interesting.... Can you be a bit more descriptive than "manly"? How is a guy to find you if he is anti-social? I don't understand.

Manly = basically the opposite of me. This is mostly behavioral. I'd like someone who complements me. Anti-social? Hmm, that's probably the wrong term to use, but I feel most attracted to the strong silent type. They tend to be guys who don't talk a lot and don't really enjoy socializing with a lot of people (usually introverts). I hate to say it but they usually don't have a long list of friends but they aren't necessarily shy. I grew up around men like this. And yeah it can be a problem finding them or with them finding me but that's the hurdle I face with liking that type.

Oh and btw, I don't speak for all ISFJs, just myself.

 

[Just another ISTJ]

-A good sense of humour
-Intelligent
-Mature, but still playful
-Respectful to most everyone
-A good communicator
-Not interested in playing games (in a dating sense)

 

[wrldisquiethere]

-A good sense of humour
-Intelligent
-Mature, but still playful
-Respectful to most everyone
-A good communicator
-Not interested in playing games (in a dating sense)

Good ones!

 

[countrygirl]

Funny enough I had a list, before I met my husband, and he matched most of them (that I remember).

My first requirement was that he be 6' or more (I'm 5'9" and he makes me feel petite - he's 6"4' ). Emotionally mature, responsible, sense of humor like mine (dark and rude), and understand/respect my need for space (I didn't know about introversion at the time or MBTI). That's all I remember.

After we got married, we were lucky to discover that we wanted/had the same lifestyle goals, similar ideas about raising children, how we deal with money/finances and have the sex drive/preference.

Sex before marriage was ok for me but I moved fasted than he wanted to . And I moved in with him one month before we got married (I would not have done so if we were not engaged).

 

[Dizzy]

I don't really maintain standards, there is no perfect image of a girl for me. But then again I do aim high often to high, which can be quite frustrating at times. I have troubles reading to other side. I'd wish I could lower the bar but I just can't help it...

 

[weepingcherry]

I always thought they were a myth, like the ENFP's and their imaginary unicorns!

jajaja I am an Enfp....and love old cars!!

 

[Sam Spade]

As dating goes my standards end at "Doesn't reek like a trash can in June" and "Isn't a mother fetishist."

Wow, my (INTJ) roommate fails BOTH of those requirements.

 

[IZthe411]

A pulse

 

[raz]

I can't think of many straight off the bat. To me, a wife/girlfriend would be a companion and supporter. Mental attraction is the highest priority to me. If we're on different mental wavelengths, then I lose attraction fast, and the only thing that's going to HOPE to keep that attraction is if they are insanely fucking hot, and that only lasts an hour. My last girlfriend, I stayed with her because I knew and trusted her, but I saw the world and interpreted things in a much different way than her and thought in a much different way that caused incompatibility. I felt like I had to dumb myself down around her.

Education and such isn't THAT important, but I do care if they have drive. As long as they give a shit about their life, I'm fine. It's more about falling in love with the person, and seeing fulfillment in having that person in my life rather than having them meet a set of standards. There is someone in my life that I wouldn't care if she was jobless or a felon, because she's my best friend and when I'm around her, the world just seems....better. The compatibility is indescribable almost.

 

[IZthe411]

I can't think of many straight off the bat. To me, a wife/girlfriend would be a companion and supporter. Mental attraction is the highest priority to me. If we're on different mental wavelengths, then I lose attraction fast, and the only thing that's going to HOPE to keep that attraction is if they are insanely fucking hot, and that only lasts an hour. My last girlfriend, I stayed with her because I knew and trusted her, but I saw the world and interpreted things in a much different way than her and thought in a much different way that caused incompatibility. I felt like I had to dumb myself down around her.

Education and such isn't THAT important, but I do care if they have drive. As long as they give a shit about their life, I'm fine. It's more about falling in love with the person, and seeing fulfillment in having that person in my life rather than having them meet a set of standards. There is someone in my life that I wouldn't care if she was jobless or a felon, because she's my best friend and when I'm around her, the world just seems....better. The compatibility is indescribable almost.

+1

You wrote this for me as well....

From the mental stimulation, to the last GF experience, and the key points in the second paragraph.

It's less of a list per se, it's more qualities that I know I'm attracted to, that will get my attention. It's very possible the girl has those qualities and something still not be there, but those are the things that will get my attention. It's the starting point.

 

[Carrot]

I've no idea... I'll probably know that person at first glance...

 

[Donna Cecilia]

The most important physical feature I look for in a man is his height: he has to be as tall as I am with my highest-heel stilettos on -that would be 1.80 m tall. As for the hair and eye colour, I don´t mind.

As for his inner-self, it has to be well-mannered, considerate, confident, as well as sharing my principles. Also, to have the capability of helping me to relax, and taking things less seriously. A cheerful, caring guy will be right for me.

 

[EJCC]

I have the same standards for dating that I have for friendship, only with one additional requirement: I need to find them attractive. In other words, I'm not so incredibly picky. Like other people said earlier, I wait for things to play out, instead of setting a ton of standards in advance.

 

[Max]

Reason I've never had a girlfriend: Standards too strict... lol.

 

[incubustribute]

All right, let's hear it SJ's! What are your specific standards for a potential husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend? These can be mental,physical,educational, etc... What about age? Working salary?

I guess this is kind of like building your perfect mate. What characteristics would you prefer? Do you think you will ever meet anyone with these exact qualities?

gigantic bewbs. that is all.

 

[incubustribute]

Damn I can't even joke about that, I hate huge boobs.

In all seriousness though, I'll just make a checklist.

Things I need:
- consistency and trust
- open mindedness
- respect for my value systems/approaches to solving problems and the way I tackle life in general.
- somewhat attractive
- gotta love Jesus like I do.
- similar communication style. It's uncomfortable when we talk around each other.
- understanding and appreciation for the things about which I'm passionate.

Things I would prefer:
- a musician/artist/writer (this goes along with being open minded)
- verrrrry attractive (I prefer 'cute' to 'hot' almost always)
- introvert (my ex was ESFJ and constantly berated me for how relaxed and laid back I was)
- intelligent enough to keep up with my sense of humor. So not really that intelligent I guess