[ISTJ] ISTJs and Introverted Feeling

[NewEra]

Does have someone telling you what you do right carry weight for you, or only if it is coming from someone you have to answer to (eg your boss)?

I like anybody telling me I'm doing something well, not just my boss.

Chosen One - Why does it annoy you when you have your opinion discounted? (obviously most people will feel annoyance, but I think for different reasons...)

You know, I never thought about the reason I get annoyed really. Now that I think about it, it's more because I like being acknowledged for positive things, but I think a bigger reason is so someone can affirm that I'm doing something right (or well), because many times I myself don't know if I did.

 

[NewEra]

I agree, embarrassment for me comes in being seen as incompetent. That's the ultimate embarrassment for me.

...

In regards to embarrassment when I don't meet someone else's standards, it's more of that I hold myself to higher standards when handling someone else's property. That only extends to impersonal handlings. When doing something for someone else puts me into personal situations, I increase my level of objectivity greatly.

Yeah for the most part. Every time it all comes down to my own standards of myself. Difference for me is hen I'm around people, if I do worry about what they think about me, it's because I have high standards for myself to be good or better than good in many many aspects of my life.

 

[raz]

I like anybody telling me I'm doing something well, not just my boss.

I'm realizing lately that I only like someone telling me I'm doing something right only for the affirmation that I did something right. I don't necessarily "feel good" in the way that other people might. I feel good in the respect that I have affirmation of a job done right. It's more like my pride is my center rather than my feelings. The affirmation increases my pride by letting me know I did something right and to keep going the way I was going.

 

[Fidelia]

Matthew Z - So what you mean is that someone should not throw stuff in your face that you are already aware of and trying to fix, nor should they harp on past mistakes? That makes sense.

Chosen One - That helps a lot to understand that. I guess I have always assumed that because the STJs I know are very capable and efficient people that they already knew they were doing things well. Of course, I realize that most people like that verbalized in some way! But I never would have thought that they themselves were in doubt.

If someone were to acknowledge something you did well, how would you like that to be done (publicly, privately, verbally, on paper or, or, or....?)

 

[raz]

The problem with me also, as I just elaborated on in vent, is this: It's like someone stood up in space above the Earth, with me standing next to them. They were holding in their hands 100 pieces of information regarding what was meaningful to me in the world. They then said to me, "Ok, these pieces of information, you know what? I'm going to drop them all down to the planet, letting them fall whereever they fall." Then I look at them and say, "so now you're forcing me to muk around society for those pieces of information? fuck you."

 

[Matthew_Z]

Matthew Z - So what you mean is that someone should not throw stuff in your face that you are already aware of and trying to fix, nor should they harp on past mistakes? That makes sense.

That's the gist of it.