[ISTJ] Ask the ISTJ

[Wolf]

I need to go find some lunch, so I'll try to make this short and to-the-point:

How do you become the person/organization/etc that an ISTJ follows the orders of? Every time I run into an ISTJ they need form 871-stroke-C filled out, are stonewalling you on something because of some mysterious superior, or they haven't been given authorization. They are always doing the bidding of their masters...you know, the usual: exterminating jews, oppressing people, torturing and burning heretics at the stake, executing prisoners, checking identification papers, calling numbers at government facilities, burning witches, insisting you take your shoes off at security checkpoints, and always telling people that your superiors (or God(s)) told you to do it...

So, how do I locate and control my own ISTJs?

Dammit, I want to be Goebbels!



A great ISTJ profile:

ISTJs are characterized by loyalty, duty, and civic responsibility. As an ISTJ, you have a natural understanding of the value of civil harmony and order, and a deep-seated dislike of non-conformity, anarchy, and chaos.

For an ISTJ, work is very important to a sense of self-satisfaction. Happiness comes most easily for you when you have a job that allows you to express your ethic. Whether it's blasting traitorous rebel scum as a proud Imperial Stormtrooper or monitoring the population's cerebral implants searching for evidence of unauthorized thought patterns as one of the Thought Police, you're most satisfied when you are crushing the population beneath the iron boot heel of oppression on behalf of your masters.

RECREATION; ISTJs approach leisure with the same dedication they bring to spreading tyrrany and oppression. Common ISTJ pasttimes include cleaning their rifles, improving their marksmanship, betting on political dissidents in the Gladiator Arena, and macrame.

COMPATIBILITY: ISTJs are capable of stong emotional connections, bonding closely with the other ISTJs in their unit, platoon, or sector.

Famous ISTJs include TK-421, Torquemada, and Yuri Andropov.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I hereby solemnly and firmly declare (invoke?) Godwin's law. Bad wolf, naughty wolf.

 

[Wolf]

I hereby solemnly and firmly declare (invoke?) Godwin's law. Bad wolf, naughty wolf.

It doesn't apply because it wasn't an argument.

According to Wikipedia, second paragraph, second sentence of this section, it is totally acceptable usage in this context. So there.

 

[Ivy]

It doesn't apply because it wasn't an argument.

According to Wikipedia, second paragraph, second sentence of this section, it is totally acceptable usage in this context. So there.

Everybody knows Wikipedia isn't a valid primary source! Here, I'll prove it: Reliability of Wikipedia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[JivinJeffJones]

It doesn't apply because it wasn't an argument.

According to Wikipedia, second paragraph, second sentence of this section, it is totally acceptable usage in this context. So there.

Pfff. You could have gone for fascists in general, or any henchmen of totalitarian regimes. But you went for Nazis.

 

[Wolf]

Everybody knows Wikipedia isn't a valid primary source! Here, I'll prove it: Reliability of Wikipedia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Want me to go quote the NHD? Do you? I didn't think so. You know it's right, I mean, it's a geek law of the internet, how couldn't it be right on Wikipedia? Go check the sources if you disagree with it.

Pfff. You could have gone for fascists in general, or any henchmen of totalitarian regimes. But you went for Nazis.

See, the problem is that if I answer this I'll just be explaining my jokes. I selected for a very specific reason and even linked to help those of you that missed it. I went all over the map, in case you didn't notice.

Again, this was never an argument, and I'm becoming hungrier. *grumbles*

 

[Schizm]

Say you are an engineer. As an INTP, I decide to use a certain tool for a different function. Does it piss you off? Or would you do the same?

 

[Ivy]

Want me to go quote the NHD? Do you? I didn't think so. You know it's right, I mean, it's a geek law of the internet, how couldn't it be right on Wikipedia? Go check the sources if you disagree with it.

*sadly* I don't even know what the NHD is. I just wanted to make a joke about there being a wiki on the reliability of wikipedia! Don't you want me to have ANY fun, Wolf?

 

[Recoleta]

So, how do I locate and control my own ISTJs?

Hmmm....raise them from birth and indoctrinate them with all kinds of traditions and whatever else you would want them to do while they are still young and impressionable?

Of course, if you're not willing to father your own children, you may have to go through the whole adoption process which is most certainly full of thrilling forms to fill out...and if you're especially lucky lots of ISTJ's who will tell you, "So you want to adopt this child/these children for your own controlling purposes?....I'll have to check with my boss to see if you would be a good candidate..." Happy hunting!

 

[usernameredacted]

So, how do I locate

How to locate them? Well, for starters, I'm right here.

and control my own ISTJs?

pay us.

 

[usernameredacted]

Say you are an engineer. As an INTP, I decide to use a certain tool for a different function. Does it piss you off? Or would you do the same?

Eh... if it was smart enough, I'd probably admire it. But if you go and try to do things the hard way (i.e. cutting wood with a screw driver...) I'd probably be slightly disgusted by your ignorance.

 

[Zergling]

I am in fact interested in the "How do you become the organization that an ISTJ takes the orders of" question, because a similar process probably works for other people, and it sounds like a good skill to have.

 

[Recoleta]

I am in fact interested in the "How do you become the organization that an ISTJ takes the orders of" question, because a similar process probably works for other people, and it sounds like a good skill to have.

This question really makes me laugh a bit (and this is not meant to be taken at all as a personal attack to Zergling or Wolf...so don't get mad with me). But for one, we are certainly not all the same...who you decide to follow or what you decide to believe in depends greatly on your personal beliefs and values (as with any person of any type...not just ISTJ's). Although ISTJ's are perhaps perceived as people who "just follow the rules because someone in authority said so" I find that statement absolutely ridiculous. We are not mindless drones who just take orders from those in "authority." We are perfectly capable of thinking for ourselves thankyouverymuch. It's just so funny that every single person reading this thread takes orders from someone else in some respect, and yet, it's the ISTJ's that always seem to get called out for it.

Now, on the one hand, if I willingly take a job and someone is paying me to perform a specific job/task that we have agreed upon I find it in my duty to hold up my end of the bargain to the best of my ability. A contract has been made...and as ya'll have read probably many times, "The ISTJ's word is his/her contract and we honor them." We are also fiercely loyal people...if you have made it into "our inner circle" it means we probably trust you with our lives. Our loyalties run deep, but we do not trust easily. Basically, so long as the person we made an agreement with upholds their end, we will do the same.

Now, as for that silly accusation that ISTJ's "are always doing the bidding of their masters...you know, the usual: exterminating jews, oppressing people, torturing and burning heretics at the stake, executing prisoners, checking identification papers, calling numbers at government facilities, burning witches, insisting you take your shoes off at security checkpoints, and always telling people that your superiors (or God(s)) told you to do it..." ummmmmmm I'm pretty sure that ISTJ's are not exclusive to that at all. And I'm sure you were joking around and all, but any person would do what the other person said if you were given the choice, "Do this or die." I watched a video about that kind of thing in my Research Methods Class...pretty interesting stuff BTW. I know the video is on YouTube, but I can't remember the name...maybe I'll look for it later and post the link.

 

[Schizm]

Eh... if it was smart enough, I'd probably admire it. But if you go and try to do things the hard way (i.e. cutting wood with a screw driver...) I'd probably be slightly disgusted by your ignorance.

ISTJ's tend to make great engineers. In other words, you are are smart enough . I was referring to this passage of the wikipedia entry which has always struck me as quite off.

As a practical example, consider the two types known as the introverted Thinkers (ISTP and INTP). They share dominant introverted Thinking, which gives them a solid interior grasp of the underlying principles of life. The ISTPs with their preference of extraverted Sensing, love understanding physical, mechanical systems. The INTPs, for their part, love understanding theoretical systems through their extraverted iNtuition. ISTPs are often very capable in using whatever materials are at hand in their building projects, using available tools to their full capabilities to serve their goals, through their extraverted Sensing. INTPs, at the same time, are often good at using physical tools, but here they also use their intuition to solve problems. An INTP is not shy about using a tool for something other than its original purpose, or creating a new tool to serve a desired purpose. INTPs cause no end of frustration to ISTPs ESTPs, ESTJs and ISTJs with this improvisation, as despite their best effort they cannot make the same intuitive leaps which come naturally to the INTP. On the other hand, they are quick to smugly point out when the INTP must stop in the middle of a project to puzzle over the previously discarded instructions, which the -ST- read at the start.[1]

 

[Schizm]

Are you familiar with the Enneagram? If so, what is your type on there? I will go head and ask the question I wanted to ask. If you are an Enneagram 5, do you readily discern what people are about to say before they say it?

 

[Sona]

So, how do I locate and control my own ISTJs?

Easy to control an ISTJ. Just get an extremely hot woman to seduce him. Works for me all the time.

 

[usernameredacted]

Are you familiar with the Enneagram? If so, what is your type on there? I will go head and ask the question I wanted to ask. If you are an Enneagram 5, do you readily discern what people are about to say before they say it?

I think I'm a 5. And, no, not really, not that I've noticed anyway.

Easy to control an ISTJ. Just get an extremely hot woman to seduce him. Works for me all the time.

Umm... I'm a female. And, no, that wouldn't work, even with a guy. I'm also a finance major though. That's why I suggested the pay.

 

[Wolf]

*chuckles to himself*

 

[Natrushka]

If I were going to compliment you on a piece of work you had just completed would you prefer that I told you: "That was well done. Good job." or "Wow, amazing! What a great job!"

 

[usernameredacted]

If I were going to compliment you on a piece of work you had just completed would you prefer that I told you: "That was well done. Good job." or "Wow, amazing! What a great job!"

Hmm... once again, I speak for myself... I think I'd probably prefer the latter, as long as it was sincere. Now, if that's gonna be fake, I prefer the first.