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Thread: Ask the ISTJ

  1. #21
    only bites when provoked
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    I need to go find some lunch, so I'll try to make this short and to-the-point:

    How do you become the person/organization/etc that an ISTJ follows the orders of? Every time I run into an ISTJ they need form 871-stroke-C filled out, are stonewalling you on something because of some mysterious superior, or they haven't been given authorization. They are always doing the bidding of their masters...you know, the usual: exterminating jews, oppressing people, torturing and burning heretics at the stake, executing prisoners, checking identification papers, calling numbers at government facilities, burning witches, insisting you take your shoes off at security checkpoints, and always telling people that your superiors (or God(s)) told you to do it...

    So, how do I locate and control my own ISTJs?

    Dammit, I want to be Goebbels!



    A great ISTJ profile:
    ISTJs are characterized by loyalty, duty, and civic responsibility. As an ISTJ, you have a natural understanding of the value of civil harmony and order, and a deep-seated dislike of non-conformity, anarchy, and chaos.

    For an ISTJ, work is very important to a sense of self-satisfaction. Happiness comes most easily for you when you have a job that allows you to express your ethic. Whether it's blasting traitorous rebel scum as a proud Imperial Stormtrooper or monitoring the population's cerebral implants searching for evidence of unauthorized thought patterns as one of the Thought Police, you're most satisfied when you are crushing the population beneath the iron boot heel of oppression on behalf of your masters.

    RECREATION; ISTJs approach leisure with the same dedication they bring to spreading tyrrany and oppression. Common ISTJ pasttimes include cleaning their rifles, improving their marksmanship, betting on political dissidents in the Gladiator Arena, and macrame.

    COMPATIBILITY: ISTJs are capable of stong emotional connections, bonding closely with the other ISTJs in their unit, platoon, or sector.

    Famous ISTJs include TK-421, Torquemada, and Yuri Andropov.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  2. #22
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    I hereby solemnly and firmly declare (invoke?) Godwin's law. Bad wolf, naughty wolf.

  3. #23
    only bites when provoked
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I hereby solemnly and firmly declare (invoke?) Godwin's law. Bad wolf, naughty wolf.
    It doesn't apply because it wasn't an argument.

    According to Wikipedia, second paragraph, second sentence of this section, it is totally acceptable usage in this context. So there.
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  4. #24
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    It doesn't apply because it wasn't an argument.

    According to Wikipedia, second paragraph, second sentence of this section, it is totally acceptable usage in this context. So there.
    Everybody knows Wikipedia isn't a valid primary source! Here, I'll prove it: Reliability of Wikipedia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  5. #25
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    It doesn't apply because it wasn't an argument.

    According to Wikipedia, second paragraph, second sentence of this section, it is totally acceptable usage in this context. So there.
    Pfff. You could have gone for fascists in general, or any henchmen of totalitarian regimes. But you went for Nazis.

  6. #26
    only bites when provoked
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Everybody knows Wikipedia isn't a valid primary source! Here, I'll prove it: Reliability of Wikipedia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Want me to go quote the NHD? Do you? I didn't think so. You know it's right, I mean, it's a geek law of the internet, how couldn't it be right on Wikipedia? Go check the sources if you disagree with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Pfff. You could have gone for fascists in general, or any henchmen of totalitarian regimes. But you went for Nazis.
    See, the problem is that if I answer this I'll just be explaining my jokes. I selected for a very specific reason and even linked to help those of you that missed it. I went all over the map, in case you didn't notice.

    Again, this was never an argument, and I'm becoming hungrier. *grumbles*
    I 100%, N 88%, T 88%, J 75%

    Disclaimer: The above is my opinion and mine alone, it does not mean I cannot change my mind, nor does it guarantee that my comments are related to any deep-seated convictions. Take everything I say with a whole snowplow worth of salt and call me in the morning, if you can.

  7. #27
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    Say you are an engineer. As an INTP, I decide to use a certain tool for a different function. Does it piss you off? Or would you do the same?

  8. #28
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Want me to go quote the NHD? Do you? I didn't think so. You know it's right, I mean, it's a geek law of the internet, how couldn't it be right on Wikipedia? Go check the sources if you disagree with it.
    *sadly* I don't even know what the NHD is. I just wanted to make a joke about there being a wiki on the reliability of wikipedia! Don't you want me to have ANY fun, Wolf?
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  9. #29
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    So, how do I locate and control my own ISTJs?
    Hmmm....raise them from birth and indoctrinate them with all kinds of traditions and whatever else you would want them to do while they are still young and impressionable?

    Of course, if you're not willing to father your own children, you may have to go through the whole adoption process which is most certainly full of thrilling forms to fill out...and if you're especially lucky lots of ISTJ's who will tell you, "So you want to adopt this child/these children for your own controlling purposes?....I'll have to check with my boss to see if you would be a good candidate..." Happy hunting!

  10. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    So, how do I locate
    How to locate them? Well, for starters, I'm right here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    and control my own ISTJs?
    pay us.
    By the way, I'm the girl in the picture, lol.... happily married though, so don't even...

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