First of all thanks for replying. I really appreciate you investing the time and energy into a detailed response. Some of these personal issues are mostly water under the bridge, since I've come to accept my father as he is, but it's still great to get a greater understanding. Wish I'd had access to a community like this 20 years ago.
I will tell you exactly why I became interested in MBTI, and you can decide what function caused it; I liked that it explained almost everything that I could never figure out about people. I was often plagued with the question "Why are they being so IRRATIONAL?" before I found out about MBTI. And after I found out about MBTI, I became aware of the fact that some people who I was very close to, I really didn't know at all, and that MBTI helped me to know them better. So, I guess the reason why I like MBTI so much is that it... humanized other people for me? If that makes sense? I still think a lot like your dad (which is why I bolded that section of your post - that part really strikes me); I still think there's a right way to do things, and a wrong way, and I still tend to think that my way is right until proven otherwise ...
Well, of course it does make total sense to think your way is the right way. After all, why would you do it if you honestly thought it was the wrong way? That whole line of reasoning makes sense, but is so different from my own tendency to second (and third and forth) guess myself. It also seems as if it can become kind of a hermetically sealed tautology if one doesn't continue taking in new information that might change one's opinion.
Well, firstly, everyone dismisses SOME rules. It's probably just more obvious with your dad than with other people because he's such a believer in "the rules" that he seems like a hypocrite for not following all of them.
Secondly, I recommend this thread:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/sj-guardhouse/19739-sj-breaking-rules.html
Because SJs have such belief in the law, and because you can't follow the law all of the time, they have to rationalize. And this thread shows how they do it.
Thanks muchly! I'll read up on that. I know SJs (and all other types) aren't perfect, but would be nice to have greater insight into how they make allowances for that. We're all hypocrites sometimes, and one's type doesn't change that.
We believe (generally) in the legitimacy of authority figures, i.e. we believe that they're in positions of authority for a reason, and that they're qualified overall - and even if they're not, they have more information than we do about the issues, so we shouldn't automatically assume that we're more knowledgeable than they are.
That makes sense, too, from a certain perspective... and is certainly true much of time. I think as an INFP I tend to immediately identify more with the underdog and to worry about abuse of authority. Of course, getting stuck in that perspective is no more valid than always siding with the authority figure.
I don't understand... Are you saying that he'll be angry, and acting angry, and not realize he's angry? Because I don't relate to that at all, and, frankly, I don't understand how it's possible. Maybe you could elaborate?
Sorry I was unclear. I meant to say that at times he would be visibly stiff, tense and irritated, but would have no idea that he was. The denotations of what he said would not be angry, nor would he be verbally lashing out, but it was still clear there was restrained anger and irritation there. It was also clear that emotion still tilted his reasoning a bit.
In the moment he wouldn't know he was upset. I think in his case he was just that out of touch with his emotions. I certainly doubt all ESTJs are that cut off from that side of themselves.
When I was younger I found his mixed messages very confusing, because I knew he was angry but he was saying that he was not. My intuition and feeling were telling me that both things were true (both the he was angry, and that he thought he was telling the truth). It was very confusing at the time.
Only years later, after he had gotten slightly more in touch with his feelings, did he admit that he had been angry in those situations but hadn't acknowledged it, even to himself. I wouldn't hold my dad up to be a model of a healthy ESTJ even today, but he's become more flexible and open than he once was.
Here's how it is with me: I'll be incredibly emotional about something, but I'll have no idea why I'm feeling that way. I'll have to ask other people, or I'll have to methodically go through, in my head, what's been going on with me that would make me feel that way. For example: "Let's see, I checked the calendar and it's not PMS... I've been getting enough sleep recently, so it can't be fatigue..." and so on and so forth.
I think even those of us heavy on the Fi sometimes have to go through that process. It's always possible to have a hard time attributing emotions to the correct cause. When I'm really puzzled by my emotional reaction to something, i still, every now and ago, have to go through a process where I make different suggestions internally about what the cause might be and wait until one resonates emotionally and intensifies the emotion. It's a little like dropping stones down a well and waiting until one makes a splash. It's a very internal process, so feels a little odd to try to verbalize it. Typically, though, I know in the moment what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it and can move to manage those reactions in real time. It seems like I have to go through the conscious process less and less as I get older.
There have been some clever studies done where they put people in (subjectively) dangerous situations and then had them meet someone attractive. People who weren't in stressful situation (control group) reported being less attracted to the new person than those who had just been through something stressful. It was as though they had mistakenly attributed some of the excitement to the new person, rather than the situation.
Anyway, thanks one again for the dialog; it's been very helpful. I'm off to take a look at that "Breaking Rules" thread.
) these facts, in this order:
) It would take a blatant violation of her code of honor/ethics. For example, if she saw members of her own army commit brutal war violence towards innocent "demon" civilians. That kind of thing. She would need to see/hear/sense something that would make her go "This is unjust, unwarranted and morally wrong, and something MUST be done about it!"
The ISTJ would probably be a doormat. 
Not many people get my sense of humor in real life.
