[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

[T-Guy]

Flaunting credentials isn't really on topic, I know ESTJs accomplishing a lot less than yourself but I'm glad you're doing well. I'd also like to keep this talk about personalities and not get personal because its relatively unreliable anyway

Firstly, are you implying that Perceiving types miss deadlines more than Judging types? This simply isn't true and no website or source that I know of claims this, there are certainly claims that Ps "cram" everything just before deadlines though

So are you really annoyed at people who keep options open till the last min? (and there are logical reasons to do so as I've explained) or are you more annoyed at people who miss deadlines?

Actually "missing" the deadlines isn't really something we can pin on a certain personality

Though there are definitely different styles of meeting a deadline

I would think that as long as the deadline is met all is well and I don't see P/J having anything to do with that

I really can't see one style accomplishing more than the other some very rich men are perceiving types take Donald Trump for an artisan example

I think it's narrow minded to think that J/P has anything to do with how productive or accomplished someone can be and most Ps that are accomplished would say their perceiving played a large part in their brilliance

Well I was giving facts to support the theory here...and to tell you the truth, I know a lot of people who missed project deadlines because they kept their options open. I do agree keeping your options open is a good thing, but when you don't make any progress towards achieving your goals, it's more of a bad thing than is a good thing.

 

[T-Guy]

ESTJs, how do you guys like to be approached if someone wants to talk to you? Do you prefer if someone says "Is this a convenient time for you to talk?" or "Hey, we need to talk."?

I would prefer you say "Is this a convenient time for you to talk" since you shouldn't treat your teacher like you treat your friends

If someone sends you a lot of sport-releated e-mails, or thank-you letters, do you guys feel obligated to respond?

I do feel obligated to respond to e-mails, letters, and things like that because I hate when people ignore me or don't respond to my inquiries and I'm not a hypocrite. However, if you send too many e-mails regarding similar materials and I don't have time, I will probably invite you to have a face to face chat after class or something.

Do you like to hangout with your family more than your friends?

I would choose my friends because it's sort of weird hanging out with my family...at least at this point in my life anyways

If you are married, do you like to introduce your spouse or family to a friend or acquaintance? Or do you feel insecure about it?

N/A since I'm not married.

How would you feel if someone that has once embarrassed you, informally approaches you and says something like "I'm sorry for embarrassing you the other night".. How would you respond? Would you blush? Would you say something like "thank you for apologizing."?

I usually tell that someone not to worry about it if he or she didn't mean to embarrass me. If person embarrasses me on purpose, I demand an apology.

What do you guys think of INFJs?

I'm not very familiar with the personality type...so I can't really tell you.

What is the best way for a non-athletic student to impress an ESTJ physical education teacher?

You know what it depends on the person...I would guess to be good at sports since you are getting evaluated on your physical abilities. Even if you aren't good at sports, I would be impressed if you show me that you're doing your best and working hard to improve yourself.

I'm sorry if I caused any trouble.. I'm just eager!

Don't apologize because this thread is made to answer your questions. I can't sleep anyways, so it's all good.

 

[Unique]

Well I was giving facts to support the theory here...and to tell you the truth, I know a lot of people who missed project deadlines because they kept their options open. I do agree keeping your options open is a good thing, but when you don't make any progress towards achieving your goals, it's more of a bad thing than is a good thing.

Alright I mean no offense by this but you are clearly not understanding my point so I have nothing further.

 

[Twixt]

Hello, first i must say I didnt read all 47 pages of this thread so these questions may have been asked before. (I made it up to about pg27) Im not clear if its possible to search for something within a thread. Anyway, if these questions have been asked, i apologise, just quoting past posts would be great, thanks.

1. What types would ESTJs be attracted to in a romantic relationship? What specific personality traits would endear these types to ESTJs, and why??

2. Are ESTJs likely to like people who lack quickness/punctuality in doing work, but are caring, empathetic, friendly, occasionally and appropriately serious (esp. as in emotionally mature) individuals? Would you let these people into your 'inner circle'?

3. WHY are ESTJs so driven to accomplishment/completion of things??? What goes through your minds, what's the thought process? (eg. "i have to finish this because ...?")

4. (perhaps this qn is similar to #1) What kinds of people are ESTJs likely to admit into their inner circle, to become seriously good friends with (the kind with whom you become fiercely "You can count on me"-guardian-like when they cry, and with whom you are just yourself and can open up about more emotional problems you experience)? What personality traits cause you to open up to these people/trust these people with such important things, and why?

Thank you, this is a greatt thread.

 

[EJCC]

Alright I mean no offense by this but you are clearly not understanding my point so I have nothing further.

Don't give up! After all, I don't know if you noticed, but I answered your questions too, so you might find help there.

Hello, first i must say I didnt read all 47 pages of this thread so these questions may have been asked before. (I made it up to about pg27) Im not clear if its possible to search for something within a thread. Anyway, if these questions have been asked, i apologise, just quoting past posts would be great, thanks.

No problem at all

1. What types would ESTJs be attracted to in a romantic relationship? What specific personality traits would endear these types to ESTJs, and why??

It really, REALLY depends. I've seen/heard of ESTJs having romantic relationships with a LOT of types. I haven't heard of an ESTJ pairing with another SJ, but besides that... yeah. Generally, I'd say that ESTJs, like anyone, want an SO who balances them out, but doesn't clash with them. Here's what I want in a guy that I think other ESTJs would probably also want in an SO:
- Someone who agrees with them in political and, depending on the ESTJ, "moral" issues (and if they're more closed-minded, then they'll want someone who has the same religion as them. Me, personally, I'm okay with whatever religion a guy has as long as he doesn't mess with my religion.)
- Someone who will listen to what they have to say, but will also fill the silence
- Someone who will respect my (occasional) need for space, e.g. when I'm really upset and need to be alone and cool off
- Someone trustworthy
- Someone genuine
- Someone who understands them

Now, I personally would put "compatible sense of humor" on the list, but I dunno about humorless ESTJs, you know?

2. Are ESTJs likely to like people who lack quickness/punctuality in doing work, but are caring, empathetic, friendly, occasionally and appropriately serious (esp. as in emotionally mature) individuals? Would you let these people into your 'inner circle'?

Depends on whether they're coworkers or just friends. In a work environment, I might like them personally, but their work habits would piss me off to the point that the verdict would be unclear. (This is ESPECIALLY TRUE if they're lower ranking than me.) But if it's not work related, then sure, I could put aside their work habits and be their friend. I have friends like that, including an ENTP and an ESFP, who are very close and who I could tell almost anything to. But I don't work with them...

3. WHY are ESTJs so driven to accomplishment/completion of things??? What goes through your minds, what's the thought process? (eg. "i have to finish this because ...?")

An example:
I have a test. I have to get a good grade on the test. Why? Because I need to get a good grade in the class. Why? Because I would be horrifically disappointed in myself if I did any worse than a certain grade.

I have high standards for myself. I judge myself based on how well I manage to meet (or come close to meeting) those standards.

But none of this is a thought process, really. It's all internalized. The thought process is probably this: "I have to study for this test. I need to get an A. I HAVE to get an A." It's pretty robotic - I give myself an assignment, and I just complete it.

4. (perhaps this qn is similar to #1) What kinds of people are ESTJs likely to admit into their inner circle, to become seriously good friends with (the kind with whom you become fiercely "You can count on me"-guardian-like when they cry, and with whom you are just yourself and can open up about more emotional problems you experience)? What personality traits cause you to open up to these people/trust these people with such important things, and why?

Honestly, and this is kind of embarrassing, almost all NFs who are nice to me bring out this reaction. An extreme example: I've only known my roommate (an INFJ) for three weeks, and I ALREADY treat her like this. But then again, we hit it off right away. We have common interests, and she seems to genuinely care about me. Plus, her dad died this past week, and I think that strengthened my feelings of protectiveness.

But yeah, those are the general qualifiers (for me): General chemistry, shared interests, them being nice to me, and them seeming to care (genuinely) about me.

Thank you, this is a greatt thread.

Glad you like it. I certainly do


btw... 47 PAGES, GUYS!!!

 

[Snuggletron]

what is it like to rule the world?

 

[Fidelia]

Think of all the educating you guys have done! Thanks for being the host EJCC and for any of you other ESTJs who have contributed.

 

[EJCC]

what is it like to rule the world?

I'll let you know after I stage that coup that I've been planning...

Seriously, though, it doesn't feel like anything, because you take it for granted. It's not exactly on my mind all the time.

 

[Unique]

Don't give up! After all, I don't know if you noticed, but I answered your questions too, so you might find help there.

Yes thank you. Your answers were exactly what I was after. T-Guy and I just got off on a bit of a tangent but since I don't think it was really progressing and was not getting a satisfactory a response I have nothing further

It's not my mission to put over confident ESTJs in their place anyway

The "facts" he talks about to support this "theory" are simply his own credentials which in the big scheme of things are actually not that impressive but I didn't want to make it personal for that reason I'm not out to make people feel small

There is no solid proof that has been shown to me for the claims being made

 

[Twixt]

Thanks! That was great.

An example:
I have a test. I have to get a good grade on the test. Why? Because I need to get a good grade in the class. Why? Because I would be horrifically disappointed in myself if I did any worse than a certain grade.

I have high standards for myself. I judge myself based on how well I manage to meet (or come close to meeting) those standards.

But none of this is a thought process, really. It's all internalized. The thought process is probably this: "I have to study for this test. I need to get an A. I HAVE to get an A." It's pretty robotic - I give myself an assignment, and I just complete it.

Well. This may sound pretty strange hahaha. Were you born like that? Was it ALWAYS natural for you to think/behave this way?

What type are your parents? What effects do you think their personalities have had on how you turned out!

Do you think its possible or likely for two P parents to have a J child, especially an extroverted judger (E__J)?

 

[kathara]

I like 'em, if they like me, and if they aren't mean to me. Some INTPs do a lot of friendly teasing, and I can be kind of sensitive about that sort of thing. But if they like me, and if we agree on important things, then I like 'em. They're fun to talk to, and they're INCREDIBLY entertaining

I am very mean to the ESTJ I know. Unfortunately, he seems to be only tolerating it, and not getting off on it. Silly goose!

 

[Twixt]

Oh yeah and 2 more:

1. Where on earth do you guys get all your energy from??!?
2. What do you think of ENFPs?

 

[EJCC]

Well. This may sound pretty strange hahaha. Were you born like that? Was it ALWAYS natural for you to think/behave this way?

Pretty much, yeah. I may have been more creative than that, though. But I had a VERY LONG attention span as a child. My preschool teachers thought I was autistic...

What type are your parents? What effects do you think their personalities have had on how you turned out!

My mom's an INFJ, and my dad's an INTP. We all get along famously

But to answer your second question, there are different theories about that. One theory I've heard is that you get one letter from your mom, one from your dad, and the other two are from your environment. But that doesn't really apply with me... 'cause how would two Ns raise me to be an S? Plus, I was outgoing pretty much from birth. But anyhoo... I know for a fact that I got my J from my mom, and the T is PROBABLY from my dad... but I have no idea where the ES came from. My mom is almost borderline S (which would make her borderline SJ), and she's kind of a goody-two-shoes rule-follower like I am, so that may be where I got that from. And ESTJs and INFJs share a common "I AM CRUSADING FOR JUSTICE" mindset, so I may have gotten that from my mom. But I'm speculating at this point...

Do you think its possible or likely for two P parents to have a J child, especially an extroverted judger (E__J)?

Oh, I'm sure it is. Just like it's possible for two INxx parents to have an ESxx child... case in point

1. Where on earth do you guys get all your energy from??!?

We get energy from other people, in part. We extraverts are like that. I get really bouncy sometimes, when I'm at parties or in social situations, just from talking to people. It puts me in a good mood. (And on the other hand, when I'm alone for long periods of time, I get unmotivated and kind of sluggish and sad.)

But if you meant in work situations (i.e. "How do you guys manage to do monotonous tasks for days on end without getting tired out?"), I don't really have an answer for you. I have NO idea.

2. What do you think of ENFPs?

I like them, but I have no idea how they manage to like everyone. I mean, they're really, really nice people (in my experience), but when they're nice to literally EVERYONE, and it's like they're friends with thousands of people, you don't exactly feel special, you know? I like feeling like I'm at least a little bit special, in a friendship. Like I'm valued. And I dunno how much I feel that with ENFPs.

I guess it's just that they're so different from me, you know? I don't relate to them, even though I like them, and appreciate how they balance me out.

 

[FallaciaSonata]

Thought I'd ask your opinion on a couple things. There's two people in my life that I think are ESTJs and I want a better way to understand them. I could do that, but I first need to know that they actually are ESTJs. They could very well be something else and me not know it. ; )

My boss, at work, is the Produce Manager. I'm pretty sure she's ESTJ....she's like me, a lot, but different in a few very sharp ways.

Things we both do:

Everything is in order, everything is in it's place, and neither of us is happy if you mess up that order. That just sounds J-ish to me.

We both talk in the same way, and by this, I mean the Sensor way. "Literal, concrete", very few and very little metaphors and stuff like that. Every thing is clear-cut and easily understood.

Other people tend to describe her as "cold", but not necessarily introverted. So this, to me, says the T function is shining through a bit. She's extremely knowledgeable about how things work, where stuff goes, and how to do things. This is one of the reasons I love working for her --- she has the answers to everything I could think to ask.

Things She Does Differently:

Here's the first and most obvious thing. She's accused me of having "tunnel vision" before, and I know exactly what she's talking about. I would prefer to call it "concentrated / intense focus". She has complimented me on that aspect, but only once. She says once I start doing something it always comes out fine. But she doesn't like that I don't pay much attention to other things at the same time. I'm not really a good multi-tasker.

For example, her method of daytime produce is to go out, see what we need, and then she starts a cycle. She takes out whatever she saw was empty or low, and as she is doing that, she is checking for other stuff that needs to go out, so when she finishes that cart of stuff, she can immediately go back in and start another one.

Now that's what I call Se in action. I just can't do that very well. I can try, but I always miss stuff. But I can work just as fast....I would just find it easier to take out a ton of stuff at once, work it out onto the shelves, and then look for stuff that needs to go out. One thing at a time.

She's got a way of doing things, as stated before, but it always has to be done "her way", regardless of whether or not someone else's way is more efficient. This is me to a certain degree, but on the same token, it's not. If someone shows me a logical reason for improving a way I normally do something, I adapt for the sake of efficiency. She does not.

I have absolutely no problem with this --- she's my boss, so as long as I'm paid, I'll do it however she wants it done. No problem there.

So, what do you think? ESTJ, possibly?

I'll put the next person's little info thing in the next post. Gotta go for now.

 

[EJCC]

Um, I'm not sure if she's ESTJ. She could be, but there's some stuff in your post that I don't relate to, e.g. the "Se in action" thing... well, the top four ESTJ functions, in order, are Te, Si, Ne and Fi... no strong, prevalent Se. Plus, I have a tendency towards "tunnel vision" as well. I sometimes volunteer at my local library, with shelving, and I work exactly the same way that you do. The need for doing things "her way" is something I kind of relate to, but I'd like to think that if you prove to me that your way is more efficient, then I'll change without a problem.

I dunno. What does everybody else think? ESTJ or no?

 

[Unique]

What you described about her is more P than her seemingly organized appearance

There are a lot of SPs in the work force and not a whole lot of rave parties in super markets (a hyperbole of course) so that only suggests that they do indeed work when they need to but probably more in the fashion you described

I can see an SP telling an ISTJ they have tunnel vision, just because she is productive doesn't automatically make her an SJ

 

[FallaciaSonata]

Sounds like a plan. First of all, I'd like to re-cant my ESTJ thought a bit. For whatever reason, I had a "brain-fart" and I was thinking ESTJ = Se, Ti, Ne, Fi. I thought this because ISTJ (What I'm used to analyzing) is ISTJ = Si, Te, Fi, Ne.

You can see how I screwed that one up.

Let me rephrase....or restate....whatever.

I think her functions are as follows (not necessarily in this order, these are just the ones I see)

Se, Ti, and possibly Te. But who knows..... My first impression of her, having never worked with her, was that she is eerily similar to me, but more forceful somehow. I would imagine it like myself, an ISTJ, but without hesitation of any kind. I hesitate a lot, mostly so I can think before I act, but with her, it's as if she already knows what will happen when she acts so she simply acts.

Wait....that sounded very Si to me just now. Heh....should have taken her age into account, eh? I recall reading somewhere that Si dominant people become more "useful" as they age, as they have acquired an expansive pool of knowledge.

But then again, she could just be like my Dad a bit....ISTP-ish.


I'm going to hold off on other questions until we figure this one out. ; )

 

[Unique]

Interesting. You're seem pretty heavily tilted in the INTP direction. After having read some of your posts I find myself thinking I could easily have written that--you are better with words. You're avatar is stereotypically INTP, but could also be considered "cute". Might that be a hormonal difference?

Recently this girl thought it was "cute" when I suddenly realized I was being talked to but was too busy day dreaming to notice

To be noted though, my results are not "radical" in any direction, around 80% each making me quite balanced and adaptable though definitely more confused

I like words, perhaps more so than numbers like some INTPs

Sounds like a plan. First of all, I'd like to re-cant my ESTJ thought a bit. For whatever reason, I had a "brain-fart" and I was thinking ESTJ = Se, Ti, Ne, Fi. I thought this because ISTJ (What I'm used to analyzing) is ISTJ = Si, Te, Fi, Ne.

You can see how I screwed that one up.

Let me rephrase....or restate....whatever.

I think her functions are as follows (not necessarily in this order, these are just the ones I see)

Se, Ti, and possibly Te. But who knows..... My first impression of her, having never worked with her, was that she is eerily similar to me, but more forceful somehow. I would imagine it like myself, an ISTJ, but without hesitation of any kind. I hesitate a lot, mostly so I can think before I act, but with her, it's as if she already knows what will happen when she acts so she simply acts.

Wait....that sounded very Si to me just now. Heh....should have taken her age into account, eh? I recall reading somewhere that Si dominant people become more "useful" as they age, as they have acquired an expansive pool of knowledge.

But then again, she could just be like my Dad a bit....ISTP-ish.


I'm going to hold off on other questions until we figure this one out. ; )

She sounds SP going by the information you provided

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

For example, her method of daytime produce is to go out, see what we need, and then she starts a cycle. She takes out whatever she saw was empty or low, and as she is doing that, she is checking for other stuff that needs to go out, so when she finishes that cart of stuff, she can immediately go back in and start another one.

Now that's what I call Se in action. I just can't do that very well. I can try, but I always miss stuff. But I can work just as fast....I would just find it easier to take out a ton of stuff at once, work it out onto the shelves, and then look for stuff that needs to go out. One thing at a time.

She's got a way of doing things, as stated before, but it always has to be done "her way", regardless of whether or not someone else's way is more efficient. This is me to a certain degree, but on the same token, it's not. If someone shows me a logical reason for improving a way I normally do something, I adapt for the sake of efficiency. She does not.

I'll put the next person's little info thing in the next post. Gotta go for now.

I don't know. This sort of sounds a lot how I work. She def sounds T and J to me. But I'm very different when I'm working. SO different that I surprise my co-workers when I'm off. I like things to be efficient and orderly and clean. (You'd think I'd be a J).

Have you ever hung out with her outside of work?

 

[EJCC]

Just trying to keep the thread alive...

Any other questions? Any elaborations, or answers to questions about questions? (That last one's aimed at you, FallaciaSonata.)