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[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Can you explain how sympathy works for you? How it feels?

What's that look like from start to finish in terms of how you react and handle a situation that demands it?

Curious, since it's not something I relate to.
Hopefully it looks and sounds a lot like empathy. Validating their feelings, saying their emotions back to them. But going by definitions, it's not empathy until you're really feeling what they're feeling.
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
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4,413
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INTP
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sp/sx
Which parts do ESTJs relate, or do they relate to everything?

How ESTJ asks, "Do you love me?"
  • Will you handle things – can I rely on you?
  • Will you make my life easier, can I relax knowing you’re “on it?”
  • Will you support my career and/or goals and be self-sufficient?
  • Are you loyal?

How ESTJ answers, "Yes! I love you!"
  • I will be endlessly loyal on principle.
  • I will educate myself on you and learn how you operate.
  • I will take pride in you, boasting about your accomplishments even before my own.
  • I will protect you.
  • I chose you. I continue to choose you. Case closed.

And how ESTJs could be perceived: Controlling, distant, “unromantic”
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
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Messages
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sp/so
[MENTION=20044]chubber[/MENTION] Part 2 and part 3 of that were absolutely spot on. :)

Part 1 is right but is not the whole picture. I'll add some things:

How the ESTJ asks "Do you love me?"
  • Will you handle things -- can I rely on you?
  • Are you loyal?
  • Will you still appreciate me and care for me when I can't be a "pillar of strength" anymore?
  • Can you handle the idea of me being vulnerable, multifaceted, and human?
 

Sil

This is a test.
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
362
[MENTION=20044]chubber[/MENTION]

Dunno. Haven't got there yet. If I'm still around on this forum when that happens...nah, who am I kidding. I won't remember this question three hours from now, let alone the distant future.
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
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[MENTION=20044]chubber[/MENTION]

Dunno. Haven't got there yet. If I'm still around on this forum when that happens...nah, who am I kidding. I won't remember this question three hours from now, let alone the distant future.

Got to love that brain.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
why are women expected to lie about their age especially younger ones? its gonna be found out eventually especially once their dead, unless they can convince family to fudge the date of birth. but then they'll be dead so it won;t matter
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
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1w9
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sp/so
why are women expected to lie about their age especially younger ones? its gonna be found out eventually especially once their dead, unless they can convince family to fudge the date of birth. but then they'll be dead so it won;t matter
Some women care so much about their youth, their looks, their beauty, etc, that they deny the possibility of aging by lying about their age. I think it's stupid, personally.
 

SD45T-2

Senior Jr.
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
4,229
MBTI Type
ESTJ
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1w2
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so/sp
[MENTION=20044]chubber[/MENTION] Part 2 and part 3 of that were absolutely spot on. :)

Part 1 is right but is not the whole picture. I'll add some things:

How the ESTJ asks "Do you love me?"
  • Will you handle things -- can I rely on you?
  • Are you loyal?
  • Will you still appreciate me and care for me when I can't be a "pillar of strength" anymore?
  • Can you handle the idea of me being vulnerable, multifaceted, and human?
Yeah, that's just about perfect. :solidarity:

This is something I wrote in your blog awhile back:

SD45T-2 said:
My experience is that people don't quite seem to get it. When I'm struggling with something and having a nervous breakdown, people saying that they expect me to succeed because they think I'm smart just makes things worse. I want to know that they'll still love me if I fail. Is that really so unreasonable? :unsure:
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
So I'm an ISFP...but I've had a recent experience that's making me consider if I'm not an SJ, because I think this is Si.... Can you tell me if you think it is?

So I was recently away on a trip. For about 3 weeks. I got back home. Walk through door and start getting all these immediate perceptions. Everything seemed slightly 'off' and different. The furniture seemed to have moved slightly, even though it couldn't have. My shelving seemed to have grown or shrunk, even though it couldn't have. The floors felt different. The ceiling looked different, slightly higher in some rooms and lower in other rooms. I know other SJs on this forum have described those subtle "something feels different" perceptions as Si, so I'm thinking that this is Si. Except my perceptions were all wrong? So is this like shadow Si? Or does this also happen with higher Si like in xSxJ types? Also I noticed that I can use a smell to trigger a memory play back but it only works for bad memories. Is this Si?

Thanks.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
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ESTJ
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sp/so
So I'm an ISFP...but I've had a recent experience that's making me consider if I'm not an SJ, because I think this is Si.... Can you tell me if you think it is?

So I was recently away on a trip. For about 3 weeks. I got back home. Walk through door and start getting all these immediate perceptions. Everything seemed slightly 'off' and different. The furniture seemed to have moved slightly, even though it couldn't have. My shelving seemed to have grown or shrunk, even though it couldn't have. The floors felt different. The ceiling looked different, slightly higher in some rooms and lower in other rooms. I know other SJs on this forum have described those subtle "something feels different" perceptions as Si, so I'm thinking that this is Si. Except my perceptions were all wrong? So is this like shadow Si? Or does this also happen with higher Si like in xSxJ types? Also I noticed that I can use a smell to trigger a memory play back but it only works for bad memories. Is this Si?

Thanks.
Was anything actually different about the house, after all? My instinct is that you were probably experiencing tertiary Ni or something. Si does lead to that exact kind of feeling, but it's easier for us to narrow down what's making us feel that way.

The smell thing is universal, I think.
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
Was anything actually different about the house, after all? My instinct is that you were probably experiencing tertiary Ni or something. Si does lead to that exact kind of feeling, but it's easier for us to narrow down what's making us feel that way.

The smell thing is universal, I think.

Nothing was actually different that I could tell...it was just the sense that it was. Like shadow Si was messing with me. I do not think this is Ni as my Ni perceptions are usually totally disconnected from the immediate environment rather than about the immediate environment the way these perceptions were - but it certainly could be...
 

Sil

This is a test.
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
362
why are women expected to lie about their age especially younger ones? its gonna be found out eventually especially once their dead, unless they can convince family to fudge the date of birth. but then they'll be dead so it won;t matter

How many women's funerals are you attending?
 

Hawthorne

corona
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Jan 8, 2015
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1,946
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If you were a proud scientist who had been slighted by the rest of your peers and, in an act of revenge, decided to engineer a serum that would alter the genetic make-up of people forcing them to become the most respectable ESTJ clone possible, what flavor of ice cream would you request as your final indulgence after they rise up against you? Ideally, it would be your favorite flavor.
 

Sil

This is a test.
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
362
If you were a proud scientist who had been slighted by the rest of your peers and, in an act of revenge, decided to engineer a serum that would alter the genetic make-up of people forcing them to become the most respectable ESTJ clone possible, what flavor of ice cream would you request as your final indulgence after they rise up against you? Ideally, it would be your favorite flavor.

Gluten free, sugar free, fat free, diary free bubblegum ice cream.

I don't want to go quietly in the night.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
Gluten free, sugar free, fat free, diary free bubblegum ice cream.

I don't want to go quietly in the night.
The bubble gum ice cream has no secrets.

How do you feel about typos being pointed out?
 
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