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[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Are you heterosexual?
What is your age group?
Do you work in corporate environment?
- Yeah, though more like "heteroflexible"
- Milennial
- Nope, I work in nonprofits
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
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Government cover ups. I'd tell you more, but first I'll need you full name and social for a background check.

Right
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
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Is that your first or last?

That would be my first. I don't have a social in any form or shape. Should I expect a phone call soon with free bus transportation included to my destination date?
 

Sil

This is a test.
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
362
That would be my first. I don't have a social in any form or shape. Should I expect a phone call soon with free bus transportation included to my destination date?

Yup. We've got just one seat left on our prison transport passing through your area.
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
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Yup. We've got just one seat left on our prison transport passing through your area.

Sounds fantastic. I always wanted to see equality in action. It's so nice when your date can come pick you up.
 

Sil

This is a test.
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
362
Sounds fantastic. I always wanted to see equality in action. It's so nice when your date can come pick you up.

Oh, well if it's a date I'm gonna have to throw in a polygraph.

But dinner is on me. Mexican?
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
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Oh, well if it's a date I'm gonna have to throw in a polygraph.

But dinner is on me. Mexican?

I'll probably eat anything after such a long ride. Dessert, cockroaches covered in sugar? It's on me. We can just take a stroll in the desert, I can show you what pasta looks like underground.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
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ESTJ
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sp/so
Bumping my earlier question:

People who are currently in relationships with ESTJs, or who have been in relationships with ESTJs in the past: What is that appealed to you about your ESTJ, initially? What drew you them?
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
how fleixible are you? can you lick your own toes? not that you do but if you wanted to could you?
 

Sil

This is a test.
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
362
Do you prefer symmetry or asymmetry as an aesthetic style?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
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ESTJ
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1w9
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sp/so
How do you really perceive IJs? Especially the feeler ones?
Totally depends. I have loads of IxFJ friends, but I also know IxFJs that I actively dislike.

Sometimes IxxJs can bother me because they are more stubborn and less receptive to outside information, than ExxJs tend to be. So arguing with them can feel like running into a brick wall. Especially with INxJs. With those folks, I tend to throw my argument into the void, end the discussion. and hope that they think about it later.

That being said, my reasons for being friends with people tend to not have much to do with type.

how fleixible are you? can you lick your own toes? not that you do but if you wanted to could you?
I'm not super flexible. But I'm getting there. Yoga helps!

Do you prefer symmetry or asymmetry as an aesthetic style?
If it's purposeful, planned asymmetry and feels like it contributes to the general flow/harmony of whatever it is that's being asymmetrical (clothes, interior design, art), then I like asymmetry. Symmetry can sometimes feel too perfect. Boringly so.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
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Messages
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yupp
Totally depends. I have loads of IxFJ friends, but I also know IxFJs that I actively dislike.

Sometimes IxxJs can bother me because they are more stubborn and less receptive to outside information, than ExxJs tend to be. So arguing with them can feel like running into a brick wall. Especially with INxJs. With those folks, I tend to throw my argument into the void, end the discussion. and hope that they think about it later.

That being said, my reasons for being friends with people tend to not have much to do with type.


yeah i noticed that, not who your friends are but rather that ExxJs tend to be more open minded than INxJs yet descriptions and stereotypes actually make it sound like the opposite is true. why is this?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
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ESTJ
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sp/so
yeah i noticed that, not who your friends are but rather that ExxJs tend to be more open minded than INxJs yet descriptions and stereotypes actually make it sound like the opposite is true. why is this?
I think when ExxJs are intolerant, they tend to be loud and decisive-sounding, which makes people assume that they shouldn't attempt to argue with them. ESTJs, especially, are very argumentative when people question their opinions, so that can turn people off as well*. But ExxJs have a more flexible internal structure, I think -- more adaptable, and quicker to adapt. Though I think it depends on what the contrasting opinion is, and how closely it is held.


*Digression: The reason for that is that the ESTJs want to know if that contrasting opinion is actually valid, and in order to know that, they need to know that their personal reservations are baseless. I don't love arguing, and I'm not a competitive debater, but I do tend to interrogate people when they have strongly-held views that are different from mine. Sometimes when that interrogation is done, then I put on that new belief like a schmancy new jacket. It's that simple! No processing time needed, unless we get into Fi territory.
 

Poki

New member
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Dec 4, 2008
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yeah i noticed that, not who your friends are but rather that ExxJs tend to be more open minded than INxJs yet descriptions and stereotypes actually make it sound like the opposite is true. why is this?

From my point of view EJ'S are more goal driven due to thier Je nature. Because they are goal driven they are aware that ignoring certain data is counter productive to the goal. So while they may argue at first, when they slow down and internalize or bounce ideas out of the moment they can and will adapt to meet the goal.

They are very stubborn hard headed when they are talking about why things are screwed up, but when it's about knowledge of goal driven data they are open to things that will help them reach thier goal. Pushing towards goals is a positive thing IMO for them. It keeps them open and growing.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
I think when ExxJs are intolerant, they tend to be loud and decisive-sounding, which makes people assume that they shouldn't attempt to argue with them. ESTJs, especially, are very argumentative when people question their opinions, so that can turn people off as well*. But ExxJs have a more flexible internal structure, I think -- more adaptable, and quicker to adapt. Though I think it depends on what the contrasting opinion is, and how closely it is held.


*Digression: The reason for that is that the ESTJs want to know if that contrasting opinion is actually valid, and in order to know that, they need to know that their personal reservations are baseless. I don't love arguing, and I'm not a competitive debater, but I do tend to interrogate people when they have strongly-held views that are different from mine. Sometimes when that interrogation is done, then I put on that new belief like a schmancy new jacket. It's that simple! No processing time needed, unless we get into Fi territory.

that's fine we don't agree on everything but you don't try to convince me and everyone else how open minded you are while not being so. and i think that's what drives me nuts about INxJs is when they pretend to be the epitome of openmindness and pretend to understand people way more than they actually do and when you tell them that no they don't actually understand and that they're not being open minded its a mighty blow to their egos. where you'll be more likely i don't understand even when you do but don't believe you do and i'd rather see that quality in a person than them having the one where they believe to understand when they clearly don't. nothing drives me more nuts when someone is giving me advice and i'm going no it's not like that but are completely convinced they know more about my situation than they possibly could.

but yes people only look at the surface of things even N's (oh no! bring out the pitchforks and slay me like your dragon) because that's the lazy thing to do we all do it.

ok so i guess i have to ask a question
do you find sympathy or empathy helps you more in situations?

and why is that?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
that's fine we don't agree on everything but you don't try to convince me and everyone else how open minded you are while not being so. and i think that's what drives me nuts about INxJs is when they pretend to be the epitome of openmindness and pretend to understand people way more than they actually do and when you tell them that no they don't actually understand and that they're not being open minded its a mighty blow to their egos. where you'll be more likely i don't understand even when you do but don't believe you do and i'd rather see that quality in a person than them having the one where they believe to understand when they clearly don't. nothing drives me more nuts when someone is giving me advice and i'm going no it's not like that but are completely convinced they know more about my situation than they possibly could.
I don't know what makes so many INxJs -- INFJs especially -- believe so strongly that they are open-minded. Maybe it's because they take in all possible ideas, and to them, the fact that the ideas are coming in is more important than whether the ideas actually make an impact.

My mom, thankfully, knows that she is not open-minded. :laugh: But she's also a 1w2 like me, so she's unusually judgmental for an INFJ. We find solidarity in that regard!

but yes people only look at the surface of things even N's (oh no! bring out the pitchforks and slay me like your dragon) because that's the lazy thing to do we all do it.
:yes:

ok so i guess i have to ask a question
do you find sympathy or empathy helps you more in situations?

and why is that?
Honestly? Sympathy. Because I don't feel a lot of empathy most of the time. And expressing sympathy makes me more likely to feel empathy. Like how smiling a lot is scientifically proven to make you happier.
 
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