[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

[lyra]

Question for both of you: Why not just ask them out, and see what happens? While I'm not 100% sure whether your respective ESTJs are interested in you, it's a good sign that they're keeping you around. When I get the feeling that someone is interested in me, and I have no interest in them, I tend to do the very mature and adult thing and avoid them altogether.

Because of many reasons.

 

[EJCC]

Because of many reasons.

Ok. Whatever you need to do (or not do).

 

[prplchknz]

As sj how do you tell strangers to fuck off and that they're a fucking moron in a nice but still a semi insulting way. I guess how do you be passive aggressive

 

[EJCC]

As sj how do you tell strangers to fuck off and that they're a fucking moron in a nice but still a semi insulting way. I guess how do you be passive aggressive

Are you thinking of a particular situation? Because it would really depend on the situation.

As an SJ, I get a lot of satisfaction out of seeing passive-aggressive notes on other people's windshields, telling them they need to learn how to parallel park correctly. I personally haven't left a note like that before though.

 

[prplchknz]

Are you thinking of a particular situation? Because it would really depend on the situation.

As an SJ, I get a lot of satisfaction out of seeing passive-aggressive notes on other people's windshields, telling them they need to learn how to parallel park correctly. I personally haven't left a note like that before though.

2 but their both similar in people telling me to smile and one saying that i'm probably gonna shoot a bunch of people (um no). just wish strangers wouldn't talk to me if i'm not your friend fuck off.

 

[EJCC]

2 but their both similar in people telling me to smile and one saying that i'm probably gonna shoot a bunch of people (um no). just wish strangers wouldn't talk to me if i'm not your friend fuck off.

Oh. Well in that case, the stereotypically SJ thing to do would be to ignore them, and not say anything back -- because that would encourage them.

 

[prplchknz]

Oh. Well in that case, the stereotypically SJ thing to do would be to ignore them, and not say anything back -- because that would encourage them.

but i want them to suffer

 

[EJCC]

but i want them to suffer

That's not the right thing to do, though.

 

[prplchknz]

That's not the right thing to do, though.

but no one does the right thing, so what does it matter?
and if they do nothing happens
people get treated like criminals before good people even if they've done nothing wrong

 

[Duffy]

What are criticisms you commonly hear from people? Do you think it's related to your type?

 

[great_bay]

How would an ESTJ react when INTP plays around with extroverted intuition and conjures the silliest thoughts?

" Would you like to see the actual math behind how long would it take to flood the earth with water using a simple garden house?"

 

[great_bay]

What would happened if the keys you lost accidentally disappeared to a parallel universe?

 

[Kensei]

As Te-Dom, are you the controlling type of Te that wishes to control his/her environment to reduce stress and increase satisfacrion? Or are you just the play it cool kind of Te that expresses their opinions and on reflex appears controlling but really doesn't want to control others?

 

[EJCC]

As Te-Dom, are you the controlling type of Te that wishes to control his/her environment to reduce stress and increase satisfacrion? Or are you just the play it cool kind of Te that expresses their opinions and on reflex appears controlling but really doesn't want to control others?

Both?

I don't usually see it as wanting to control things. Not for the sake of controlling them. But I want things to run smoothly, and I want things to run the way I would want them to be run. I'm smart enough to be able to pick my battles, and to know that my way is not always best, so I try to go with the flow in some ways -- letting other people take the reins, letting the chips fall where they may. But if I feel called to take control, be it of a situation or of a group or something else, because things are not going well, then I will take control. Again, not for its own sake. But to make sure things go the way they need to go.

 

[EJCC]

Question for other ESTJs and for people who know ESTJs: Would you describe ESTJs as being moody and volatile?

We have a reputation as being very emotionally stable and reliable, but my image/impression of myself is that the opposite is frequently true. And because strong and negative emotions can seem so foreign to us, we react to them as if it's the end of the world, even when it really isn't. It feels dramatic, and probably looks dramatic, especially to Feelers, who are used to dealing with those sorts of emotions on a more regular basis.

 

[á´…eparted]

Question for other ESTJs and for people who know ESTJs: Would you describe ESTJs as being moody and volatile?

We have a reputation as being very emotionally stable and reliable, but my image/impression of myself is that the opposite is frequently true. And because strong and negative emotions can seem so foreign to us, we react to them as if it's the end of the world, even when it really isn't. It feels dramatic, and probably looks dramatic, especially to Feelers, who are used to dealing with those sorts of emotions on a more regular basis.

You know, I've never consider it, but I honestly would. However it's a very... particular moody/volatile. It comes across as very cold logical and intended. It's really hard for me to explain, but of the ones I've met (not many, but I've met a number of them). You'd never label them as dramatic, but in a strange sort of way, they are frequently.

The thing is someone can be very emotionally stable and reliable and be moody and volatile. It's sort of like there's a bunch of switches. Flip one and you'll get a volatile response, but otherwise everything else has remained the same.

To compare to myself I and almost every ENFJ I've met is dramatic and frequently moody, but it's totally different. It's the kind you'd automatically label as such. With ESTJ's you just don't think to label it as that. It's a different word that, well, just doesn't exist. It's just their way of being. I appologize for using such a crude and stereotypical example, but take a drill instructor. You wouldn't ever think of labeling them as moody or volatile, but they are.

 

[great_bay]

EJCC, it sounds like when type 1 turn into turn 4 under stress.

 

[EJCC]

You know, I've never consider it, but I honestly would. However it's a very... particular moody/volatile. It comes across as very cold logical and intended. It's really hard for me to explain, but of the ones I've met (not many, but I've met a number of them). You'd never label them as dramatic, but in a strange sort of way, they are frequently.

The thing is someone can be very emotionally stable and reliable and be moody and volatile. It's sort of like there's a bunch of switches. Flip one and you'll get a volatile response, but otherwise everything else has remained the same.

To compare to myself I and almost every ENFJ I've met is dramatic and frequently moody, but it's totally different. It's the kind you'd automatically label as such. With ESTJ's you just don't think to label it as that. It's a different word that, well, just doesn't exist. It's just their way of being. I appologize for using such a crude and stereotypical example, but take a drill instructor. You wouldn't ever think of labeling them as moody or volatile, but they are.

Interesting. I think I know what you mean. Like we have the same emotional energy levels, the same volatility, channeled through a different system.

[MENTION=8244]Eilonwy[/MENTION], this question (and Hard's answer) relate a bit to what we've been discussing in our respective blogs. Curious as to what you think, based on your ESTJ experience.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Question for other ESTJs and for people who know ESTJs: Would you describe ESTJs as being moody and volatile?

We have a reputation as being very emotionally stable and reliable, but my image/impression of myself is that the opposite is frequently true. And because strong and negative emotions can seem so foreign to us, we react to them as if it's the end of the world, even when it really isn't. It feels dramatic, and probably looks dramatic, especially to Feelers, who are used to dealing with those sorts of emotions on a more regular basis.

My ESTJ wife has entered into random acts of anger for as long as I have known her, especially under stress, but many times with no obvious reason or cause. Her normally calm and happy demeanor, which can handle emotional situations with our children without effort, suddenly turns to an anger fest over small and ridiculous things.

These usually blow over in minutes, and she will act if they never happened or were not a big deal. Unfortunately, her post anger behavior really leaves everyone else even more a mess, especially the many feelers in our family. She has no clue of the pain she caused.

 

[Eilonwy]

Question for other ESTJs and for people who know ESTJs: Would you describe ESTJs as being moody and volatile?

We have a reputation as being very emotionally stable and reliable, but my image/impression of myself is that the opposite is frequently true. And because strong and negative emotions can seem so foreign to us, we react to them as if it's the end of the world, even when it really isn't. It feels dramatic, and probably looks dramatic, especially to Feelers, who are used to dealing with those sorts of emotions on a more regular basis.

You know, I've never consider it, but I honestly would. However it's a very... particular moody/volatile. It comes across as very cold logical and intended. It's really hard for me to explain, but of the ones I've met (not many, but I've met a number of them). You'd never label them as dramatic, but in a strange sort of way, they are frequently.

The thing is someone can be very emotionally stable and reliable and be moody and volatile. It's sort of like there's a bunch of switches. Flip one and you'll get a volatile response, but otherwise everything else has remained the same.

To compare to myself I and almost every ENFJ I've met is dramatic and frequently moody, but it's totally different. It's the kind you'd automatically label as such. With ESTJ's you just don't think to label it as that. It's a different word that, well, just doesn't exist. It's just their way of being. I appologize for using such a crude and stereotypical example, but take a drill instructor. You wouldn't ever think of labeling them as moody or volatile, but they are.

Interesting. I think I know what you mean. Like we have the same emotional energy levels, the same volatility, channeled through a different system.

[MENTION=8244]Eilonwy[/MENTION], this question (and Hard's answer) relate a bit to what we've been discussing in our respective blogs. Curious as to what you think, based on your ESTJ experience.

MOODY
1: subject to depression : gloomy
2: subject to moods : temperamental
3: expressive of a mood

VOLATILE
1: likely to change in a very sudden or extreme way
2: having or showing extreme or sudden changes of emotion
3: likely to become dangerous or out of control


When I was very young, I perceived my mom as angry, which she was because of her and my dad's marital issues. But it was more an inner anger that came out as sharpness and impatience with a touch of frustration. It seemed pervasive to me. Which is understandable to me now as an adult. She was under a lot of stress when I was a child: working full time, taking care of 6 children by herself, dealing with the marital issues long-distance since my dad was stationed elsewhere. I might describe her as volatile then (likely to change in a sudden or extreme way), but not moody.

As an adult, our relationship had improved, and the marital issues had been dealt with. During this time, I wouldn't describe her as moody or volatile. She always seemed very steady as far as emotions were concerned. Held in. Minimal range (as opposed to wide swings). Neutral.

When she was taking care of my dad and was once again under a lot of stress, the anger and frustration would show.

As she aged, she started showing more anxiety, but not to an extreme degree.