[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

[Frosty]

Is it like you feel a pull telling you to be productive? Do you have any sort of specific feelings if you put something off? Do you ever procrastinate, or do you generally get started on things immediately?

 

[SD45T-2]

What are your organizational skills like? I know stereotypically, Te dominants/auxiliaries are supposed to be pretty organized, but of course stereotypes aren't always true.

Years ago I joined a car forum. After some searching I found out that while there had been many meets around the US and Canada there never been a meet for northern California/northern Nevada. So I did the first one. It took months of planning and I probably contacted 50 or so people. The meet ended up being me, a guy from Sacramento, a guy from Monterey, and a guy from Carson City.

I was 16 at the time.

 

[great_bay]

Where can I find gay ESTJ guys?

 

[EJCC]

Why are ESTJ's so attractive to INTP?

A combination of "opposites attract" (like any combination of opposite letters/functions), shared sense of humor (Ne-based usually), and the Thinking-dominant mind-meld, which I have experienced with every Ti-dom and Te-dom I've ever met, for reasons unknown to me.

What are your organizational skills like? I know stereotypically, Te dominants/auxiliaries are supposed to be pretty organized, but of course stereotypes aren't always true.

My answer is probably about the same as every other ESxJ's: Pretty good, but could be better. Perceivers tend to think I'm super organized, and I'm middle of the road when it comes to Judgers. I do really enjoy organizing, though. I like optimizing systems.

Is your dominant Te fuction pretty much a device to implement your Fi values? Is Fi like a driving force of right & wrong in the background?

Yes and yes -- and Si is Fi's copilot. Which is why the dominant-tertiary loop, for ESTJs, is leaping from unimportant task to unimportant task, without any sense of direction or prioritization at all.

What were you like as a child? Were you the confident, outgoing, all around good student, like I picture young ESTJs to be?

I was pretty much Hermione Granger. So yes.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about your type? Why do you think that is?

There are two, IMO:

1) that ESTJs can't think critically about everything and are going to be stuck in their ways forever -- some of this is based in fact (i.e. meeting ESTJs who aren't terribly intelligent and/or are generally closed-minded), and some of it comes from Keirsey and his ilk.

2) that all ESTJs are domineering. IMO this stereotype is more likely to describe a particular sort of unhealthy/medium-healthy ESTJ, most likely a 1w2, cp6, or 8.

My old ESTJ roommate was a psychology major with a concentration in social work (which I never would have guessed based upon other things I observed about her, if she hadn't told me). Do you think that's an unusual college major for an ESTJ, or could you picture yourself, or other ESTJs you known, taking an interest in that kind of work?

I've been interested in a line of work that is very similar to that in a lot of ways: the priesthood. I will most likely not seek out that career path for a variety of reasons, most importantly the fact that I don't think I could function in that position without suffering from constant burnout. I could envision ESTJs being great at either of those jobs, if they learned how to manage their emotions more effectively -- probably with some sort of mindful pseudo-detachment.

& Do you really care much about strangers opinions of you? Or do the opinions of those close to you only really matter?

I'm not sure how much of this is being social-first (re: enneagram), but I care a LOT about this. I care more about what those close to me think of me, but I also have been known to care about the feelings of total strangers. Some of those feelings are based on rationality -- for example, the idea of having a "good reputation" presupposes that people you either don't know at all, or don't know very well, speak highly of you behind your back. But a big part of it is that, deep down, I want to be liked, and I want to be appreciated.

What do you think of people that are rude in public?

It bothers me when people are rude, regardless of whether or not they're in public. As the saying goes, "The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching".

Are you more realistic & matter of fact, or do you still try to take care of the people's feelings around you?

More of the first, but when someone I care about is upset, I do try to take care of their feelings. But the way I try to take care of their feelings is by fixing the issue that's causing the bad feelings. I'm not naturally good at active listening, or expressing empathy -- though I have been known to feel very strong empathy for my friends and loved ones.

Is it like you feel a pull telling you to be productive?

Understatement of the century.

Do you have any sort of specific feelings if you put something off? Do you ever procrastinate, or do you generally get started on things immediately?

If I'm stressed, I put things off. The specific feelings are mostly guilt, as well as inward-focused rage for letting things get to that point.

Where can I find gay ESTJ guys?

Grindr? I'm the wrong person to ask.

 

[Codex]

Nope -- probably because of the aforementioned INTP dad, lol. Wouldn't rule it out though!

IIRC female self-typed ESTJ @Codex has an INTP boyfriend though.

My ears are ringing.

Actually, my current boyfriend self types as intj. I think he has very intp tendencies-- I'm know very little about mbti, still, so I could be wrong.
My ex however, was definitely intp, and a massive man-child, which I hear is their domestic profession!
I don't understand this estj intp myth. I am a person that likes to get things done.
I feel like intps need to be managed, to an extent. That has been my experience.
You have to spell things out to them and can not trust them to take initiative.

It would be very unfair of me to generalize, of course.

 

[SD45T-2]

Where can I find gay ESTJ guys?

A wild guess: San Francisco Police Department : Home

 

[DreamBeliever]

I know this could be tough to answer, but I have an ESTJ type 8 grandma that I live with, & I was wondering what some easy things I could say or do that would make her especially happy? Yes, this is probably a case by case sort of thing, but I want to suprise her, in a good way, by doing something that will seem especially extraordinary, in her eyes. Is there anything you can think of?

 

[EJCC]

I know this could be tough to answer, but I have an ESTJ type 8 grandma that I live with, & I was wondering what some easy things I could say or do that would make her especially happy? Yes, this is probably a case by case sort of thing, but I want to suprise her, in a good way, by doing something that will seem especially extraordinary, in her eyes. Is there anything you can think of?

If she's an ESTJ 8, she's probably pretty vocal about what she likes/appreciates and doesn't like/appreciate. What are some of those things, off the top of your head?

 

[DreamBeliever]

If she's an ESTJ 8, she's probably pretty vocal about what she likes/appreciates and doesn't like/appreciate. What are some of those things, off the top of your head?

She likes when I help with house work, when I cook, & she's been on a health kick, so she loves when I go walking with her. She also likes going shopping & when I go to dances or social things with her (she loves to introduce me to her friends). That's what comes to my mind, atm.

 

[EJCC]

She likes when I help with house work, when I cook, & she's been on a health kick, so she loves when I go walking with her. She also likes going shopping & when I go to dances or social things with her (she loves to introduce me to her friends). That's what comes to my mind, atm.

Hmm. Maybe if she were to come home and find that all of the housework has already been done, and dinner has been made, leaving her with a totally free evening to treat herself to something fun? Making sure to tell her that this is to show her how much she's appreciated?

 

[Frosty]

Do you have an off switch? Whats the best way for you to relax? Why are you guys so awesome? (seriously! How do you do it all... Could you channel over some of that attitude over here?) Do you have the basics of your rest of your life already sort of mapped out in your head? Favorite quality of yourself?

 

[great_bay]

Why are ESTJ's the most attractive type to me?

 

[great_bay]

What are some books written by ESTJ's?

 

[EJCC]

Do you have an off switch? Whats the best way for you to relax?

I wish I knew, lol. I assume I have ways to get myself to relax, but I can't always predict what they will be. Sometimes the things I usually find most relaxing end up stressing me out even more.

Here are some of my typical favorite ways to relax:
- Hanging out with friends
- Foruming
- Going for a run
- Baking/cooking
- Knitting
- Watching TV
- Cleaning (yes, cleaning)

Why are you guys so awesome? (seriously! How do you do it all... Could you channel over some of that attitude over here?)

I wish we could do it all. We do a lot, though. I think the secret is that we enjoy a lot of types of tasks that other people hate, and we have a pretty consistently high energy level from day to day. So you could say in short that the ESTJ's secret is
1) They love getting stuff done, and
2) They usually have the energy they need to do it.
My ENFP bestie used to call me "the Energizer bunny" when we were in high school, because of this.

Do you have the basics of your rest of your life already sort of mapped out in your head?

I wish I did, but at this point in my life, I don't at all.

Favorite quality of yourself?

Damn, I dunno. I guess that I can be as dedicated and reliable and strong as I am, while maintaining a cheerful and lighthearted attitude.

Why are ESTJ's the most attractive type to me?

I think only you can answer that question.

What are some books written by ESTJ's?

??? Some books are written by every type. I can't predict the motivation of every ESTJ author.

 

[great_bay]

How romantic are ESTJ's?

 

[EJCC]

How romantic are ESTJ's?

We're not the "crying and watching The Notebook" kind of romantic. But we are THIS kind of romantic:

(Harold Crick is an ISTJ, but same diff in this case)

 

[Frosty]

We're not the "crying and watching The Notebook" kind of romantic. But we are THIS kind of romantic:

(Harold Crick is an ISTJ, but same diff in this case)

Just wanted to say, loved that movie.

And do you ever get annoyed with people around you? Angry if you always have to take the lead, or do you generally prefer it? What does it feel like to be an extrovert?

 

[great_bay]

What do you think of ESTP's?

 

[Riva]

What do you think of ESTP's?

A good estp is a dead estp.

 

[EJCC]

What do you think of ESTP's?

Depends on the ESTP. ExxPs can put me off when I first meet them -- appropriately enough, considering my avatar, it can look and feel a lot like Captain America's issues with Iron Man in the "Avengers" movies. Or like Iceman vs. Maverick in "Top Gun". I'm sensitive to embarrassment, and I don't like unpredictable people, so my first instinct is to see a particular type of "bad boy/girl" ExxP as being a potential liability. But I can, and frequently do, warm up to them over time.