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[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

SD45T-2

Senior Jr.
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
4,229
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Do you consciously choose who you allow close to you or no? It seems largely unconscious to me. This kind of subconscious check-list (Fi like a reverse Te list!) and either that person measures up or they don't.
I guess it's semi-conscious. Some of it just sort of flows naturally if we hit it off.

Also, are you aware of how different you appear to people that you are close to vs people you are not? I wince when I've heard people describe my ESTJ as a hardass (then add but most of the time he's pretty cool :D ).
Somewhat. I'm so/sp and usually pretty aware of group dynamics and how I factor into them.

And a personal question for you...do you feel you are more patient because of being a ESTJ 1 vs, say an ESTJ 8?
Probably. Although when my patience finally runs out it's pretty dramatic. :azdaja:
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Do you consciously choose who you allow close to you or no? It seems largely unconscious to me. This kind of subconscious check-list (Fi like a reverse Te list!) and either that person measures up or they don't.
Sounds about like how it works for me. I'm only really aware of the "test" once the person has either passed or failed.

Also, are you aware of how different you appear to people that you are close to vs people you are not? I wince when I've heard people describe my ESTJ as a hardass (then add but most of the time he's pretty cool :D ).
:laugh: Since I consciously try to show different sides of myself around different people, it makes sense to me that some would see me differently than others. I'm not really aware of how those people see me, though I'm aware of how I try to be seen.
And a personal question for you...do you feel you are more patient because of being a ESTJ 1 vs, say an ESTJ 8? I haven't been around you in person but at least online you seem much less likely to jump to conclusions and go into, "Here's what you need to do" mode.
I don't know many 8s irl, but that would make sense. In theory an ESTJ 1 would have a much longer fuse, entirely by force of will. If we had fewer inhibitions, we might react similarly to an 8.

This question has interesting timing, because I was just thinking about how much more blunt and dictatorial I become when I'm too tired to hold myself back. One of those things you don't realize takes a lot of effort, until you don't have the energy for that effort anymore.
 

Olm the Water King

across the universe
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,455
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
459
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sx/so
Is that Carrie Coon in your avatar or someone who looks a lot like her?

I like Carrie Coon a lot in The Leftovers.

Still not sure if that's her in the avatar though, hehe.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Is that Carrie Coon in your avatar or someone who looks a lot like her?

I like Carrie Coon a lot in The Leftovers.

Still not sure if that's her in the avatar though, hehe.
It's Jackie Sharp from "House of Cards", actually :)

I keep meaning to watch The Leftovers.
 

Olm the Water King

across the universe
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
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sx/so
Oh her. :D I've watched House of Cards, so I don't know why I didn't recognize her. But yeah, that's an interesting character too. Do you think she's an ESTJ? She's a military woman, so it's not all that unlikely, hehe.

The Leftovers is a pretty good show. I've seen betters ones, but it's pretty high up there on my list. :)
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
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sp/so
Aaaand three months later:

How would you sum up ESTJ management style in particular and SJ style in general?
Part of why I have a hard time answering this question is because, while I do think my initial management style is very SJ, I try to adapt a lot to my team, maximizing their strengths and minimizing their weaknesses -- which isn't something I'd necessarily associate with ESxJ, although my motivations for it are based on "what makes a good manager" (Fi/Si) and "what gets things done" (Te).

What I try to do whenever I'm in a leadership position and helping people through a task, is:

1) Starting off by explaining how the task is supposed to go, just so everything is perfectly clear
2) Making sure everyone knows that I'm always available if they have questions, then leaving people to do their own thing
3) Popping in periodically to see how they're doing -- trying to be friendly and getting to know who they are as people, and what their strengths and weaknesses are
4) Taking into account how they operate and adapting my style accordingly -- e.g. more forceful if they need someone to be forceful, or checking in on them more often if they get distracted easily

If it's a more long-term situation, I may ask them what I can do that would be most helpful to them, as a boss/supervisor -- as well as what is unhelpful and counterproductive. Then I see if their requests are reasonable, and I adapt accordingly.

(Note also that I'm not actually a manager, and have never explicitly been in a managerial position -- but I enjoy supervising teams and I'd like to think I'd be a good manager someday)

Edit: Considering [MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION]'s current summer job, I summon her to answer this question as well, from an ESFJ perspective :smile:

Oh her. :D I've watched House of Cards, so I don't know why I didn't recognize her. But yeah, that's an interesting character too. Do you think she's an ESTJ? She's a military woman, so it's not all that unlikely, hehe.
Not sure, actually. I could see it. I relate to her, though.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
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I
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9w8
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sp/sx
Aaaand three months later:


Part of why I have a hard time answering this question is because, while I do think my initial management style is very SJ, I try to adapt a lot to my team, maximizing their strengths and minimizing their weaknesses -- which isn't something I'd necessarily associate with ESxJ, although my motivations for it are based on "what makes a good manager" (Fi/Si) and "what gets things done" (Te).

What I try to do whenever I'm in a leadership position and helping people through a task, is:

1) Starting off by explaining how the task is supposed to go, just so everything is perfectly clear
2) Making sure everyone knows that I'm always available if they have questions, then leaving people to do their own thing
3) Popping in periodically to see how they're doing -- trying to be friendly and getting to know who they are as people, and what their strengths and weaknesses are
4) Taking into account how they operate and adapting my style accordingly -- e.g. more forceful if they need someone to be forceful, or checking in on them more often if they get distracted easily

If it's a more long-term situation, I may ask them what I can do that would be most helpful to them, as a boss/supervisor -- as well as what is unhelpful and counterproductive. Then I see if their requests are reasonable, and I adapt accordingly.

(Note also that I'm not actually a manager, and have never explicitly been in a managerial position -- but I enjoy supervising teams and I'd like to think I'd be a good manager someday)

lol, I forgot about this question.

I've never officially been a manager or supervisor either but whenever my boss goes on vacation, he leaves me in charge.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
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Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
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I
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sp/sx
oh i love her she's pretty and fierce. like in attitude but tyra banks fierce but not fierce in looks just attitude

I think her character on Star Trek Voyager might also be ESTJ, or possibly ENTJ. I suppose she plays that type well.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
I think her character on Star Trek Voyager might also be ESTJ, or possibly ENTJ. I suppose she plays that type well.

yes i am very familar with voyager watched it every wed tues or thurs night with my dad (can't remember the day it was on)
 

Doctor Cringelord

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yes i am very familar with voyager watched it every wed tues or thurs night with my dad (can't remember the day it was on)

I like comparing the different leadership styles of the Star Trek captains. Janeway is a bit more hands on like Kirk, whereas Picard and Sisko will step back and trust their people to get the job done while they go read books or study Bajoran mysticism lol
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
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Messages
34,397
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yupp
I like comparing the different leadership styles of the Star Trek captains. Janeway is a bit more hands on like Kirk, whereas Picard and Sisko will step back and trust their people to get the job done while they go read books or study Bajoran mysticism lol

I am really only familar with picard and janeway. and I relate more to picard's leadership style than janeway's. that being said I have seen a few eps of the original series (the first season i believe) and I did watch deep space 9 but i just don't remember it for some reason. TNG is one of those shows that renews hope in humanity for me no matter how much i think humanity should go extinct.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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I
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sp/sx
I am really only familar with picard and janeway. and I relate more to picard's leadership style than janeway's. that being said I have seen a few eps of the original series (the first season i believe) and I did watch deep space 9 but i just don't remember it for some reason. TNG is one of those shows that renews hope in humanity for me no matter how much i think humanity should go extinct.

TNG will always be one of my favorite shows. I could take or leave the original series--many trekkies consider that blasphemous to say, well they can suck it.

I identify a lot with Picard's style of leadership. He really only takes charge in a crisis and lets an ESTJ like Riker handle all of the mundane day-to-day BS.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
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Messages
34,397
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yupp
TNG will always be one of my favorite shows. I could take or leave the original series--many trekkies consider that blasphemous to say, well they can suck it.

I identify a lot with Picard's style of leadership. He really only takes charge in a crisis and lets an ESTJ like Riker handle all of the mundane day-to-day BS.
yeah that's how i am. i do really well in crisis situations in the leadership role. but mundane day-to-day things i prefer to have someone who is competent that i can rely on and for everyone to leave me alone mostly.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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yeah that's how i am. i do really well in crisis situations in the leadership role. but mundane day-to-day things i prefer to have someone who is competent that i can rely on and for everyone to leave me alone mostly.

So you can go sip your Earl Grey while you write articles about archeology and study up on prehistoric protovulcan mating rituals and practice playing your ressikan flute.

- - - Updated - - -

yeah that's how i am. i do really well in crisis situations in the leadership role. but mundane day-to-day things i prefer to have someone who is competent that i can rely on and for everyone to leave me alone mostly.

So you can go sip your Earl Grey while you write articles about archeology and study up on prehistoric protovulcan mating rituals and practice playing your ressikan flute.
 

prplchknz

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Messages
34,397
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yupp
So you can go sip your Earl Grey while you write articles about archeology and study up on prehistoric protovulcan mating rituals and practice playing your ressikan flute.





So you can go sip your Earl Grey while you write articles about archeology and study up on prehistoric protovulcan mating rituals and practice playing your ressikan flute.

no i don't have the access to such info but i would if did. but I do read a lot of articles about different discoveries and always want to learn something new.
 

Showbread

climb on
Joined
Oct 3, 2013
Messages
2,298
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Aaaand three months later:

What I try to do whenever I'm in a leadership position and helping people through a task, is:

1) Starting off by explaining how the task is supposed to go, just so everything is perfectly clear
2) Making sure everyone knows that I'm always available if they have questions, then leaving people to do their own thing
3) Popping in periodically to see how they're doing -- trying to be friendly and getting to know who they are as people, and what their strengths and weaknesses are
4) Taking into account how they operate and adapting my style accordingly -- e.g. more forceful if they need someone to be forceful, or checking in on them more often if they get distracted easily

If it's a more long-term situation, I may ask them what I can do that would be most helpful to them, as a boss/supervisor -- as well as what is unhelpful and counterproductive. Then I see if their requests are reasonable, and I adapt accordingly.

(Note also that I'm not actually a manager, and have never explicitly been in a managerial position -- but I enjoy supervising teams and I'd like to think I'd be a good manager someday)

Edit: Considering [MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION]'s current summer job, I summon her to answer this question as well, from an ESFJ perspective :smile:

I think I would agree with a lot of this. My process is probably a bit different though. I do a lot of mental prioritizing, probably very Si/Ti. The first thing I do when I get to work is evaluate the situation and prioritize tasks based on how long they've taken in the past as well as their importance to things running smoothly. Then I assign duties based on the individual strengths of my staff. I try to be as fair as possible, dividing the less desirable jobs evenly and rotating people mid-shift.

I really try to base my management style on my experiences with past managers. I remember vividly things that I hated, and things that I really liked. Humility and fairness are big ones (Fe). I hated having undesirable tasks passed off to me because I was an inferior, so I make sure I still do things like dishes and taking out the trash. I also put a lot of emphasis on teaching and try to answer questions, even stupid ones, as thoroughly and gently as possible. Ultimately I would rather be bothered with simple questions than have my staff do their job's incorrectly.

It seems to be working pretty well, my bosses have said I teach more effectively than other manager. And I have a good relationship with all my staff members.
 

Riva

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
2,371
Enneagram
7w8
Do you get up in the morning feeling happy?

Noticed this is ESTJs.
 
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