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[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
That sort of discussion, as I understand it, is going to really stress out an Fe-user. They'll see it as hostile, and that hostility will frustrate them and make it less likely for them to trust them as a source of accurate facts -- which is where the Fe/Te difference comes in. Fe -- again, as I understand it -- cares much more about presentation, when they decide who to listen to and who to trust.

Edit: A conservative (in the general sense of the word) ESTJ will probably also be kind of cranky if he or she is corrected rudely -- but they will be quick to adopt your opinion if you win the argument. They'll grumble and likely never say "you're right", but soon enough you'll see them spouting off your opinion as if it was theirs all along.

So I'm ENFJ, but I definitely can relate to that part. This is a really good distinction between Fe and Te (and I see it as independent of the N/S axis too).

I was raised by an ESTJ father and an INFJ mother (divorced at age 3 so they were apart nearly all my life), and around my father I had to try and keep things from a Te like perspective. I failed miserably as a child for a variety of reasons, but as I got older I learned and to this still emulate it.

Most of the time, I make a semi-conscious effort to learn the fact as they are, approach them as they are, and deal with it as is. It's a super important skill that I feel is really needed in life, so I have adopted it. However, presentation is important. I can tollerate pretty much any sort of presentation. I've learned how to detatch well, but I will never be perfect at it. If it is too far out of alignment with how I see it should be presented, it does put pressure on me and can be extremely stressful. Even if something is 100% right, and I can see it be the case in every way, if something is presented super poorly, I find myself resenting the person doing it, and even looking for way to find how it is wrong "This is being presented so badly, it's so wrong, there is no way this can be rignt! AHHH!". I'll eventually swallow it, but I will be kicking and screaming the whole way there, and someone may need to drag me.
 

HongDou

navigating
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*steals [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]'s thunder*

Ask me questions you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
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*steals [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]'s thunder*

Ask me questions you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as a Te-dom, what's something you HATE about Te-tert users?
 
R

Riva

Guest
success habits

Do estjs find it easy to form habits and adhere to them?

Work from this time to this.
Study fom this time to this.

If so (which is theoretically easier for sj) i think sjs are ver lucky.

Success is a matter of forming good habits.
~Riva~
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
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Do estjs find it easy to form habits and adhere to them?

Work from this time to this.
Study fom this time to this.

If so (which is theoretically easier for sj) i think sjs are ver lucky.

Success is a matter of forming good habits.
~Riva~
To be honest I think it depends on how J the SJ in question is. I know other Js who are much better about it than me -- some are SJs, some aren't. But I dunno -- in theory I would think ISxJs would be better at it than ESxJs, because of the Si front and center telling them what goals are realistic and how long each goal will take. My weakness is that I overestimate how much I can accomplish in any given day.
 

Showbread

climb on
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To be honest I think it depends on how J the SJ in question is. I know other Js who are much better about it than me -- some are SJs, some aren't. But I dunno -- in theory I would think ISxJs would be better at it than ESxJs, because of the Si front and center telling them what goals are realistic and how long each goal will take. My weakness is that I overestimate how much I can accomplish in any given day.

I am actually excellent at this. I plan everything by running it through in my head and breaking down how long everything will take, generally pretty accurately. I almost always arrive places within 2-3 minutes of when I estimate that I will.
 

Qre:us

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
4,890
Just received in my mailbox, a car magazine, with certain cars circled, from my ESTJ friend. Who sent it a week ago. But, I only just got around to checking my mailbox. Which reminded me, that, yes, indeed, I was shopping for cars. And the cars she circled fit the criteria of what I was looking for. I kind of forgot that I was planning to do that. ;)

ESTJ, where caring means helping you out with your practical needs.

Why are you guys so awesome like that?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
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Just received in my mailbox, a car magazine, with certain cars circled, from my ESTJ friend. Who sent it a week ago. But, I only just got around to checking my mailbox. Which reminded me, that, yes, indeed, I was shopping for cars. And the cars she circled fit the criteria of what I was looking for. I kind of forgot that I was planning to do that. ;)

ESTJ, where caring means helping you out with your practical needs.

Why are you guys so awesome like that?
I read this post on my phone on the bus home from work, and I actually made this face irl: :holy: Your ESTJ friend rules!

To answer your question: Because we're good at that. We're providers. And we know that about ourselves, so that's how we figure we can make ourselves most useful -- and show how much we care. :)
 

Doctor Cringelord

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I think my boss is an ESTJ. He's pretty good about looking after his employees, although sometimes annoyingly so. Makes me feel babied. He does cool stuff though like bring easter candy for everyone every year, even though he's a Russian jew.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
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I think my boss is an ESTJ. He's pretty good about looking after his employees, although sometimes annoyingly so. Makes me feel babied. He does cool stuff though like bring easter candy for everyone every year, even though he's a Russian jew.
You SURE he's an ESTJ? ;)
 

Doctor Cringelord

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You SURE he's an ESTJ? ;)

he's also kind of a hardass. babied in the sense that he doesn't trust people to do a competent job or to find their own way of doing things. everything has to be exactly a certain way.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
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he's also kind of a hardass. babied in the sense that he doesn't trust people to do a competent job or to find their own way of doing things. everything has to be exactly a certain way.
Yeah that could be ESTJ.
 

entropie

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Dear ESTJ,

Why does noone steal my innocence ?

Yours sincerely
 

Doctor Cringelord

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Yeah that could be ESTJ.

Sorry, wasn't trying to turn this into another SJ bashing thread. He's eased up a lot since I've worked with him for a while.

It's interesting to see different management styles in various types and temperaments. I've never officially been a supervisor but whenever my boss is absent or on vacation, I pretty much run our area since I've been there longer than anyone else.

I'm hands on, meaning I wouldn't ask employees to do anything I wouldn't do myself, but hands off in a way that I generally trust people to find their own best, most efficient way of completing tasks (I work in manufacturing).

How would you sum up ESTJ management style in particular and SJ style in general?
 

Redbone

Orisha
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Apr 27, 2010
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Do you consciously choose who you allow close to you or no? It seems largely unconscious to me. This kind of subconscious check-list (Fi like a reverse Te list!) and either that person measures up or they don't.

Also, are you aware of how different you appear to people that you are close to vs people you are not? I wince when I've heard people describe my ESTJ as a hardass (then add but most of the time he's pretty cool :D ).

And a personal question for you...do you feel you are more patient because of being a ESTJ 1 vs, say an ESTJ 8? I haven't been around you in person but at least online you seem much less likely to jump to conclusions and go into, "Here's what you need to do" mode.
 
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