• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Thanks Tamske :hug:

It's so easy to get bogged down in your own flaws, sometimes. Especially when you're a "fixer" sort of person! And can you get more perfectionistic than an Si type 1? :laugh:

Sorry -- I did read this post before! Really! I just got bogged down in a lot of things (thanksgiving break etc).

Here are some of the most obvious ways that those functional differences manifest:
- Stronger Te means that they're less likely to sit back and let people make the "wrong" decision -- whereas ISTJs are more likely to sit back and silently shake their heads at the person with the knowledge that they'd do it better.
- Weaker Fi means that it isn't as well restrained in ESTJs -- an ISTJ in an argument would be more likely to recognize the effects of their emotions and end it by saying "that's just how I feel and let's agree to disagree", while an ESTJ with especially weak Fi (e.g. me a couple of years ago!) would fight that fight to the bitter end, absolutely convinced that they're correct and logic is on their side, and completely oblivious to their emotions. Also, ESTJs show their anger a lot more, and sometimes their rage explosions can be as scary and sudden as an ENFP bitchslap.
- Stronger Ne means that their sense of humor is less linear, more random, and a lot goofier. If you put an ESTJ and an ISTJ in a room together, chances are that the one shaking his/her head at the other one's "bad jokes" will be the ISTJ. I'd say that ESTJ humor is more likely to be described as "random" and "ridiculous", and ISTJ humor as "sarcastic" and "deadpan". Also, ESTJs are a lot more excitable about things that they find interesting/fun -- and they evangelize that excitement with their Te. Example: "I saw this movie the other day and it was AMAZING! The special effects were awesome and the story was awesome and I am taking you to see it tomorrow! No arguments!! You have no better plans than watching this awesome movie."

Hachja. It's a shame that our universe doesnt bend to our causal explanation attempts. That would make life a lot easier :)
 

disco

New member
Joined
Sep 18, 2011
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I just want to say that my dad is an ESTJ and I think he's the best ever :) I love how powerful he is, in being an informed and responsible citizen, in creativity and innovation, in getting things done...I wish I could get things done like he does! I do think he's a bit more paranoid-practical, but perhaps that's just his anxiety. He's remarkably open-minded and supports my wild ENFP ideas, as long as I'm taking concrete steps to realize them :)
 

jojo1590

New member
Joined
May 1, 2011
Messages
2
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
3
The smart car is pretty stupid...unless you look at it from a financial standpoint. The money you save on gas will more than cover your funeral bill when you get t-boned by an suv!
 

Mia.

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
821
Wow I just stumbled upon this thread, which is amazingly long! What an awesome find. I'll have to go back and read the whole thing, because I'm an INFP and married to an ESTJ. Probably would do me a world of good in terms of insight. My hubby is the yummiest man on the planet, and has made me such a better person. The biggest thing that mystifies me about my ESTJ though is the sheer volume of negative, critical, lecturing, condescending, dominant, complaining, depressing, pessimistic, and mocking statements that come out of him. Last night I asked for 5 minutes of nothing negative (just about me or something about me, though, i.e. how I do something, anything I've done, something I don't do that I should, etc. - he could still be negative about anything else if he wanted), and he actually set a timer. He made it 2 minutes before forgetting he had set the timer and started talking about something that was "my fault." lol He then recovered and said "oh, forgot about the timer." I've developed very thick skin (we've been married almost ten years) and most of the time they either roll right off of me, or I integrate them into my personal growth. But sometimes the lopsided negativity gets the better of me and I start to feel "down" or get defensive and testy. Any advice?
 

Thinkist

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2011
Messages
128
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Wow I just stumbled upon this thread, which is amazingly long! What an awesome find. I'll have to go back and read the whole thing, because I'm an INFP and married to an ESTJ. Probably would do me a world of good in terms of insight. My hubby is the yummiest man on the planet, and has made me such a better person. The biggest thing that mystifies me about my ESTJ though is the sheer volume of negative, critical, lecturing, condescending, dominant, complaining, depressing, pessimistic, and mocking statements that come out of him. Last night I asked for 5 minutes of nothing negative (just about me or something about me, though, i.e. how I do something, anything I've done, something I don't do that I should, etc. - he could still be negative about anything else if he wanted), and he actually set a timer. He made it 2 minutes before forgetting he had set the timer and started talking about something that was "my fault." lol He then recovered and said "oh, forgot about the timer." I've developed very thick skin (we've been married almost ten years) and most of the time they either roll right off of me, or I integrate them into my personal growth. But sometimes the lopsided negativity gets the better of me and I start to feel "down" or get defensive and testy. Any advice?

I'm amazed that an INFP is getting along with an ESTJ! Sounds like you're developing the sort of Te toughness that ESTJs often have. Hopefully he's properly developing his gentle, positive, optimistic Fi side, and if not, maybe you can keep on trying.
 

ColonelGadaafi

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2008
Messages
773
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
Si
Why are ESTJs so anal and perfectionistic about everything? This is a serious question... i have alot of ESTJ coworkers, and i have to say, every ESTJ is a potential headache. I mean jeez bruh how many procedures and step-by-step headache implementations do you have to pull through, to do a single simple task, because of their poor overly linear wired brains they are incapable of jumping to accurate conclusions, and instead have to resort to tedious processes just to do what we STPs do in a matter of minutes. And the worst of it all is also that they have to act all assholic when they lose, going on vicious rants behind our backs and acting all up. They simply can't take it from the superior ESTP race, they fail to acknowledge that their genetic capacity is very limited when compared to ours. We all know Ti beats Te, by a long shot.
 
Last edited:
A

A window to the soul

Guest
The smart car is pretty stupid...unless you look at it from a financial standpoint. The money you save on gas will more than cover your funeral bill when you get t-boned by an suv!

So true. :)
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Wow I just stumbled upon this thread, which is amazingly long! What an awesome find. I'll have to go back and read the whole thing, because I'm an INFP and married to an ESTJ. Probably would do me a world of good in terms of insight. My hubby is the yummiest man on the planet, and has made me such a better person. The biggest thing that mystifies me about my ESTJ though is the sheer volume of negative, critical, lecturing, condescending, dominant, complaining, depressing, pessimistic, and mocking statements that come out of him. Last night I asked for 5 minutes of nothing negative (just about me or something about me, though, i.e. how I do something, anything I've done, something I don't do that I should, etc. - he could still be negative about anything else if he wanted), and he actually set a timer. He made it 2 minutes before forgetting he had set the timer and started talking about something that was "my fault." lol He then recovered and said "oh, forgot about the timer." I've developed very thick skin (we've been married almost ten years) and most of the time they either roll right off of me, or I integrate them into my personal growth. But sometimes the lopsided negativity gets the better of me and I start to feel "down" or get defensive and testy. Any advice?
Huh! Interesting. ESTJs do have a negative streak -- thanks to Si perfectionism and an Fi/Te need to fix things that are "wrong" -- but it looks like your ESTJ is definitely more negative than most. How do those comments manifest themselves? Do they seem manager-ish (e.g. "I noticed that you were doing ___ -- but could you do __ instead? because it would really help. Thanks!"), or do they seem rude/frustrated (e.g. "Why aren't you doing __? You're supposed to do ___!")?

As for advice -- I guess I agree with [MENTION=14864]Thinkist[/MENTION], that you should keep working on him. ESTJs can be a lot more flexible than they look, and if he can be made to realize how he comes across (in a nice, positive, NF-ish way :)), then I think his negativity could be eased. But props to you, for dealing with it so well, for so long!
I'm amazed that an INFP is getting along with an ESTJ! Sounds like you're developing the sort of Te toughness that ESTJs often have.
:yes: You'd be surprised -- this thread (and this forum!) is full of NFs that married ESTJs (with positive results when the ESTJ is healthy). I have lots of INFJ friends and a very close ENFP friend -- and I would totally date an NF given the chance :wub:
Why are ESTJ's so anal and perfectionistic about everything? This is a serious question... i have alot of ESTJ coworkers, and i have to say, every ESTJ is a potential headache. I mean jeez bruh how many procedures and step-by-step headache implementations do you have to pull through, to do a single simple task, because of their poor overly linear wired brains they are incapable of jumping to accurate conclusions, and instead have to resort to tedious processes just to do what we STP's do in a matter of minutes. And the worst of it all is also that they have to act all assholic when they lose, going on vicious rants behind our backs and acting all up. They simply can't take it from the superior ESTP race, they fail to acknowledge that their genetic capacity is very limited when compared to ours. We all know Ti beats Te, by a long shot.
Firstly, I thought you were dead? :huh: Didn't the rebels kill you? I heard about it on the news.

Secondly, considering the fact that you're still listed as ESTx and not ESTP, your "superior race" comments are especially entertaining :laugh:

Thirdly, ESTJs are perfectionistic because their Si database tells them how things have succeeded and failed in the past (and what exactly was done to cause those things to succeed or fail), their Ne makes general rules from that ("if I do this, it'll work out, and if I do this, it won't"), and their Te acts accordingly, with great zeal and strength of will (motivated by Fi)! My theory is: the more Si an ESTJ has, the more perfectionistic and detail-centric they are (meaning you must have lots of Si-heavy ESTJ coworkers, or mistyped ISTJ coworkers) -- and the more Ne an ESTJ has, the more chill they are (comparatively speaking).
 

ColonelGadaafi

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2008
Messages
773
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
Si
Secondly, considering the fact that you're still listed as ESTx and not ESTP, your "superior race" comments are especially entertaining :laugh:

Thirdly, ESTJs are perfectionistic because their Si database tells them how things have succeeded and failed in the past (and what exactly was done to cause those things to succeed or fail), their Ne makes general rules from that ("if I do this, it'll work out, and if I do this, it won't"), and their Te acts accordingly, with great zeal and strength of will (motivated by Fi)! My theory is: the more Si an ESTJ has, the more perfectionistic and detail-centric they are (meaning you must have lots of Si-heavy ESTJ coworkers, or mistyped ISTJ coworkers) -- and the more Ne an ESTJ has, the more chill they are (comparatively speaking).
I forgot to add heils and all that, and gestures declaring of superiority. Anyway i suspect that i'm ESTJ myself... and being cooky with my humour here.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hey EJCC,

One of my favourite poets, Louis MacNeice, wrote the following about what he thought poets should be like.

He was more or less describing himself, and yeah, it does sound a bit chauvinist especially as it implies poets are all men - it was another time, I guess. ;) (his dates were 1907-1963). Do you think he might have been ESTJ? I think it very likely that he was.

"I would have a poet able-bodied, fond of talking, a reader of the newspapers, capable of pity and laughter, informed in economics, appreciative of women, involved in personal relationships, actively interested in politics, susceptible to physical impressions."

It might not be enough information, but even from what I know about his life he kind of seems ESTx to me and somehow ESTJ seems more likely than ESTP.
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
I was thinking a bit more about that boredom thread, but as it didn't have to do with boredom any more, I'll post it here.
Doing things you love to do as a hobby and being happy with that: if that isn't something for an SJ! It seems to me, that you do your job, and you use your free time to relax and to reload yourself full of energy to be ready for your job again. If creativity is something you like to do, you do that in order to be happy, so you can be kind and good-humoured at work again.
I feel two things about that.
First: this is how things ought to be. Free time is designed to relax. Creativity is just a plaything, making you happy now and then. Again, you're right and I'm wrong.
Second: how can you stand losing so much free time?! Aren't you supposed to be the efficiency champions? You could do soooo much more! Why relax if you can be creative?
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
EJCC and other ESTJs,

How do you guys deal with emotional overtures/emotional spacticity from others?

I find I have to tone down my emotional intensity around ESTJs-like it isnt translating properly, so they dont understand how to respond. We can NeTe interact all day long however and I work exceptionally well with ESTJs, but it doesnt transfer very well into closer interactions-yet after the fact or when intoxicated, they admit how much they like me. Lots of interesting exploration of ideas, and planning and base value agreement on how things should work, but not really past superficial friendships.

(Please feel free to be extremely honest-I promise I will not be offended!) :)
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Hey EJCC,

One of my favourite poets, Louis MacNeice, wrote the following about what he thought poets should be like.

He was more or less describing himself, and yeah, it does sound a bit chauvinist especially as it implies poets are all men - it was another time, I guess. ;) (his dates were 1907-1963). Do you think he might have been ESTJ? I think it very likely that he was.

"I would have a poet able-bodied, fond of talking, a reader of the newspapers, capable of pity and laughter, informed in economics, appreciative of women, involved in personal relationships, actively interested in politics, susceptible to physical impressions."

It might not be enough information, but even from what I know about his life he kind of seems ESTx to me and somehow ESTJ seems more likely than ESTP.
Based on this info, I could see him as having very prominent Te (i.e. I could see him as any xxTJ)... but I don't think I have enough info to know if he's an ESTJ. :shrug: Seems a little too rigid to be ESTP.
I was thinking a bit more about that boredom thread, but as it didn't have to do with boredom any more, I'll post it here.
Doing things you love to do as a hobby and being happy with that: if that isn't something for an SJ! It seems to me, that you do your job, and you use your free time to relax and to reload yourself full of energy to be ready for your job again. If creativity is something you like to do, you do that in order to be happy, so you can be kind and good-humoured at work again.
I feel two things about that.
First: this is how things ought to be. Free time is designed to relax. Creativity is just a plaything, making you happy now and then. Again, you're right and I'm wrong.
Second: how can you stand losing so much free time?! Aren't you supposed to be the efficiency champions? You could do soooo much more! Why relax if you can be creative?
Let's see... I would say that I relax un-creatively after a stressful day because Te can be exhausting when used on overdrive (e.g. last-minute deadlines, forcing myself to start and finish something that I absolutely loathe and do not want to do), and after Te-overdrive I really have to turn off my Te and be lazy for a while. I feel like, the only times I'm really Ne-creative, I have to use my Te to turn the Ne ideas into reality, because even if the ideas come on their own without any energy being used, my Te is completely out of gas.

HOWEVER... At the end of an average day of work, the relative Ne use of an ESTJ probably varies a lot -- e.g. some ESTJs have creative hobbies, or do their hobbies creatively. I channel a lot of my creativity into, say, knitting, or hosting friends at my apartment and cooking and/or mixing drinks for them. If I need a creative outlet, sometimes I like to add themes to things that don't necessarily need them. Using the same party example, I might choose beverages, music, etc, all based on some random Ne idea I had earlier. I might hand-craft some of the decorations just because I feel like it. But either way, I don't do things exactly by the book because that's not very fun or exciting and I want my party to be fun and exciting.

But I'm not sure if all ESTJs find little outlets, like that.

p.s. Regarding your first point: I disagree with that. Free time is for whatever makes you happy. :) There's no right or wrong way to unwind at the end of the day.
EJCC and other ESTJs,

How do you guys deal with emotional overtures/emotional spacticity from others?
What do you mean by this phrasing? How would you define an "emotional overture"? I might have an idea of what you mean but I don't want to answer a question that you didn't ask.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Based on this info, I could see him as having very prominent Te (i.e. I could see him as any xxTJ)... but I don't think I have enough info to know if he's an ESTJ. :shrug: Seems a little too rigid to be ESTP.

Here's his biography: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_MacNeice

:laugh: in case you are interested enough... That was a good point about the very prominent Te. I don't know if you are at all into poetry, but look up something by him ("Snow", "Sunlight on the Garden", "Meeting Point" or "Prayer Before Birth") and see if that gives you a clue. It may not. He was quite a diverse poet. I would lean toward either ESTJ or ENTJ for him, I don't see him as a introvert based on his life. I could see him as an Intuitive but he just seems a little more grounded in the real world somehow - a lot of his poems are very strong on sensual detail. "Susceptible for physical impressions."

I've been thinking about MBTI types of some of my fav authors (especially poets) lately and just thought I'd ask you about this one. No pressure though. ;)
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
What do you mean by this phrasing? How would you define an "emotional overture"? I might have an idea of what you mean but I don't want to answer a question that you didn't ask.

I could see several potential types:

1. A bit of hyper emo-like saying "Hi!" in a kinda spastic silly way with a big funny grin.

2. Being a bit too spastic or emotionally invested when talking about a logical plan or issue-thus giving off an angsty or emo vibe
or tone to my voice.

3. Sharing of inquiring about value based topics inadvertantly. Like if the ESTJ said "I had I long weekend", I might go "Oh really, that sounds terrible, what happened?" not in a planned way, but almost as an automatic reply

^^I tend to perhaps do number 1 from time to time. It almost feels like this ESTJs relationship towards her subordinates is a friendly business minded one, thus I may inadvertantly blur that a bit by just being too overtly friendly. I tend to be very, very careful not to do number 2 or number 3, but I would love to hear how you perceive and react to them. (Or any thoughts you might have regarding business interactions in general)
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Here's his biography: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_MacNeice

:laugh: in case you are interested enough... That was a good point about the very prominent Te. I don't know if you are at all into poetry, but look up something by him ("Snow", "Sunlight on the Garden", "Meeting Point" or "Prayer Before Birth") and see if that gives you a clue. It may not. He was quite a diverse poet. I would lean toward either ESTJ or ENTJ for him, I don't see him as a introvert based on his life. I could see him as an Intuitive but he just seems a little more grounded in the real world somehow - a lot of his poems are very strong on sensual detail. "Susceptible for physical impressions."

I've been thinking about MBTI types of some of my fav authors (especially poets) lately and just thought I'd ask you about this one. No pressure though. ;)
I just read a bunch of stuff about him (mostly on poetryfoundation.org), and some of his poems (which I LOVED) -- and I could see ESTJ. :yes: Mostly because I don't see any Ni in what I read about him. My initial thought of "Why would an ESTJ want to be a poet?" went away when I saw, in the article I read about him, that he used poetry almost like a journalist would use an op-ed piece. He saw things that he thought needed to be said, perhaps things that were wrong, and pointed them out to everyone. Also, seeing poetry as a craft, that you could perfect -- something with outside standards -- seems more Si/Te.

So yeah, I think you have my type endorsement! I could have also seen ISTJ (because I didn't see anything that made him look more like an extrovert), but I trust your judgment.

Oh, and [MENTION=6166]Orobas[/MENTION], before I begin I'll just say that your usage of the phrase "friendly (and) business minded" is accurate in more ways than just with subordinates at work. My default mode, with people I don't know, is friendly and civil -- maybe not business-minded unless there's actual business to attend to, but still. I bring this up because it's good background for my responses to your hypothetical scenarios, below:
1. A bit of hyper emo-like saying "Hi!" in a kinda spastic silly way with a big funny grin.
If I didn't know you well: I would probably smile (maybe laugh) and say hi back. Wouldn't be freaked out or anything, but might be a little bit surprised, and would definitely put it into my Si bank as a character reference for you (i.e. that you have a tendency to be goofy/hyper -- which isn't necessarily a bad thing).

If I did know you well: I would grin and cheesily wave and say hi back :hi:
2. Being a bit too spastic or emotionally invested when talking about a logical plan or issue-thus giving off an angsty or emo vibe or tone to my voice.
If I didn't know you well: I might be put off/irritated by that, but I would react by going full Te on you -- not in the form of a Te bitchslap but removing all pretensions and cushioning of blunt statements. The purpose of this would be to turn the environment into an all-facts atmosphere -- thereby (hopefully) diffusing any possibly explosive situation. When people get (seemingly) disproportionately emotional about things, I start to feel like the person is a bit of a loose cannon, i.e. that I can't really predict when they'll get emotional. Hence the reaction of "I'd better calm this person down because who knows what they'll do next?"

If I did know you well: I would still go completely Te on you, but I would be more gentle and understanding once you had calmed down.
3. Sharing of inquiring about value based topics inadvertantly. Like if the ESTJ said "I had I long weekend", I might go "Oh really, that sounds terrible, what happened?" not in a planned way, but almost as an automatic reply
This is an interesting one because I think it's different with ESTJs, maybe. Generally I wouldn't (and I don't think other ESTJs would) make any statements like that unless I was ready to give an answer of some kind. So regardless of whether I knew you well or not, I would answer you honestly, and the only difference would be the level of detail.
(Or any thoughts you might have regarding business interactions in general)
Earlier, I used the word "know" in lieu of suggesting friendship, because those reactions would apply in a work setting if I worked with you enough to feel like I understood you and got along with you well -- even if we didn't necessarily hang out after work.

Back to your original post now that I understand what you were referring to:
How do you guys deal with emotional overtures/emotional spacticity from others?

I find I have to tone down my emotional intensity around ESTJs-like it isnt translating properly, so they dont understand how to respond.
With people we don't know, emotional intensity can be kind of alarming -- and depending on the situation, it can strike us as being annoying, because keep in mind, Fi outbursts are what we fear/hate more than almost anything in the world.

Relevant quote from "Was That Really Me?" by Naomi Quenk:
"From a(n extroverted) Thinking point of view, the eruption of 'illogical,' uncontrolled, and disorderly feelings is like being at the mercy of strange and overwhelming forces that threaten a person's equilibrium, if not his or her whole existence".

Meaning: if we personally had reacted so emotionally to something, we would see that outburst as the victory of emotion over self-restraint -- something we see personally as anathema, and contrary to everything we value as "mature adults". So from my experience with the xNFPs I know, there's always a point when I've known them for a while, when I started seeing their emotional outbursts as "immature" because I'm holding them to the standard that I hold myself to -- when I should realize that they just react to things differently than I do, and it's not "wrong" for them to do that.
We can NeTe interact all day long however and I work exceptionally well with ESTJs, but it doesnt transfer very well into closer interactions-yet after the fact or when intoxicated, they admit how much they like me. Lots of interesting exploration of ideas, and planning and base value agreement on how things should work, but not really past superficial friendships.
ESTJs like to know for certain that their environment is safe, before they open up. And if they don't feel like they understand you, and feel like your emotions are unpredictable and volatile, they'll probably feel like they have to be "the calm one" in the relationship until they get a feel for how you react to certain things. This wasn't necessarily the situation with my longtime ENFP friend -- as she's an exception to the rule due to having well-developed Te and also being a very self-controlled 2w3 -- but I'm currently in this situation with my INFP friend. She's opened up to me before, and I've dipped my toe into the water and very, very slightly opened up back, only to be met with a reaction completely contrary to what I expected, a reaction never explained to me and never discussed again. This sort of situation can convince ESTJs that as of now, they aren't well-suited to being close friends with the person (as they obviously didn't understand or relate to the ESTJ's deeper inner workings), and that they should therefore back off for a while.

Not that the above situation has happened with you -- but it's a sample of bewildered ESTJ-ness in the face of unpredictable people. So I guess my answer is, in short, that ESTJs just take a while to open up, and given time and a safe space, you can be close friends with them :)

Hope that helped!
 

Kngsta

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2012
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hi EJCC,

It seems that you're the expert on ESTJs. :D I was wondering, do ESTJs tend to have OCD tendencies? I'm pretty sure my roommate is a hardcore ESTJ. He calls his parents every day, he loves playing sports like pool and darts, etc. His habits are a bit unusual to me but I'm fine with it for the most part. My biggest problem with him is that he seems to be a bit OCD (hand washing, has to take down the dart board before he goes to sleep, has to put paper on top of his laptop before he leaves the room, has to use something like a hat or glove to open certain door handles, etc...). Reading about MBTI, I have thought that he might be OCD because of his personality. OCD is kind of like the ESTJ's need for order. I'm not sure about this. What do you think?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Hi EJCC,

It seems that you're the expert on ESTJs. :D I was wondering, do ESTJs tend to have OCD tendencies? I'm pretty sure my roommate is a hardcore ESTJ. He calls his parents every day, he loves playing sports like pool and darts, etc. His habits are a bit unusual to me but I'm fine with it for the most part. My biggest problem with him is that he seems to be a bit OCD (hand washing, has to take down the dart board before he goes to sleep, has to put paper on top of his laptop before he leaves the room, has to use something like a hat or glove to open certain door handles, etc...). Reading about MBTI, I have thought that he might be OCD because of his personality. OCD is kind of like the ESTJ's need for order. I'm not sure about this. What do you think?
Hi Kngsta! Welcome to the forum :)

ESTJs do tend to have OCD tendencies -- although what you're describing sounds like actual OCD to me, especially the bolded. ESTJ tendencies towards obsessiveness have more to do with being orderly and cautious, with the orderliness coming from a knowledge of what the "right" way to do something is, and the cautiousness coming from a knowledge of what can go wrong when things aren't done the "right" way. But things like the bolded aren't really based on anything rational, which is one of the many things that separates them from normal ESTJ behavior. (I also would not say that MBTI is linked to mental disorders like OCD; sometimes very disorganized and chill personality types can have OCD.)
 

infp

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2012
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Hi. What do you do for an ENTJ who is depressed? I am trying all the things I know how to do, but I think I am basing my actions on what would work for me. I am an INFP, so it isn't working.

A little background, the ENTJ is male, my husband, 32 yo and is depressed due to a job loss. He was great at his job, is a very hard worker, ethical, honest. It's the economy, not his fault. A fact he acknowledges, but it doesn't seem to matter to him. We are alright from a money perspective but that also doesn't seem to matter to him. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
 

Thinkist

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2011
Messages
128
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hi Kngsta! Welcome to the forum :)

ESTJs do tend to have OCD tendencies -- although what you're describing sounds like actual OCD to me, especially the bolded. ESTJ tendencies towards obsessiveness have more to do with being orderly and cautious, with the orderliness coming from a knowledge of what the "right" way to do something is, and the cautiousness coming from a knowledge of what can go wrong when things aren't done the "right" way. But things like the bolded aren't really based on anything rational, which is one of the many things that separates them from normal ESTJ behavior. (I also would not say that MBTI is linked to mental disorders like OCD; sometimes very disorganized and chill personality types can have OCD.)

Very true. I'm an ISTP who behaves in much of the same nitpicky way that was described. My ENFP sis has called it OCD :p
 
Top