[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

[EJCC]

... if there's no work to be done, I guess?

Well... the getting-work-done aspect of me is the default one (i.e. Te mode), but that doesn't mean that it makes me happy all the time. When I'm in Ne mode, I'm usually a lot more happy and cheerful, because I really do enjoy being goofy. But the thing is, when I'm in Te mode and someone's extremely goofy with me and my Te refuses to cede power to Ne, there are these awkward moments when I'm incapable of being funny and I just stand there like this: totally blankly and feeling like a fool. I'm at my most confident and most excited/silly/happy in Ne mode, and that's enjoyable. Getting stuff done doesn't actively cause me to be happy, though it is satisfying in a deeper way than my Ne is.

More comments on your post will follow in an edit to this... but in the meantime, it's time for bed

 

[Tamske]

Note: hubby corrected me on the assumption he didn't dare to ask what I wanted for "fear I would think he didn't know me enough and thus didn't love me". He said it was because "you simply DON'T DO THAT!"
Silly me...

 

[EJCC]

Note: hubby corrected me on the assumption he didn't dare to ask what I wanted for "fear I would think he didn't know me enough and thus didn't love me". He said it was because "you simply DON'T DO THAT!"
Silly me...

Man, I like your hubby more with every anecdote!

 

[entropie]

Dear ESTJs,

can I have one of these too ?

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYJO6KSWHqU"].[/youtube]

Plz Plz Plz !

Luv ent

 

[Redbone]

Do ESTJs suffer from OOSOOM--Out Of Sight Out Of Mind? You know, prefer to deal with, have friendships, etc., face-to-face? My ESTJ friend is loyal but he really stinks at maintaining a long-distance friendship, e.g. lack of response to messages...grrr....

Ponder point: I wonder if this is an SJ thing...my ex swears he doesn't "know" his brother because he's only talked to him over the phone and by email. And yet, I have a friend (an INTJ) that I've only met twice in real life and we are extremely close.

 

[Max]

Do ESTJs suffer from OOSOOM--Out Of Sight Out Of Mind? You know, prefer to deal with, have friendships, etc., face-to-face? My ESTJ friend is loyal but he really stinks at maintaining a long-distance friendship, e.g. lack of response to messages...grrr....

Yeah. As much as I love online people, if it's someone I know I'll never actually see or it would be very difficult, it just almost doesn't even seem worth it to persist at keeping in touch. It's not that I don't want to, it just seems kind of... awkward sometimes, I guess is one way to put it. What I'd really like to do is take some road trips across the country to actually meet some of these people, but that's not something I can afford to do at this time.

 

[Redbone]

Thanks, Max...awkward how?

What about you EJCC? Do you do this, too?

 

[EJCC]

Dear ESTJs,

can I have one of these too ?

Plz Plz Plz !

Luv ent

That is so awesome. I'll say yes, you can have it, as long as you're aware of what would happen to you if you lost your balance. It would hurt. Especially if you were ridin' like that guy (without a shirt)

Do ESTJs suffer from OOSOOM--Out Of Sight Out Of Mind? You know, prefer to deal with, have friendships, etc., face-to-face? My ESTJ friend is loyal but he really stinks at maintaining a long-distance friendship, e.g. lack of response to messages...grrr....

I also stink at maintaining long-distance relationships So unless the relationship was VERY close, it will probably die if I or the other person permanently moves away. But generally I am really good at scheduling times to meet in person, if I'm in the area I'm just bad at the long-distance part

Ponder point: I wonder if this is an SJ thing...my ex swears he doesn't "know" his brother because he's only talked to him over the phone and by email. And yet, I have a friend (an INTJ) that I've only met twice in real life and we are extremely close.

It wouldn't surprise me, if it was an SJ thing. Maybe a Sensor thing. For me, long-distance communication almost doesn't feel real. I'd have to be talking to them in person or on the phone, for it to feel real. And even on the phone, it's awkward for me. I have this annoying tendency to accidentally interrupt people all the time when I'm the phone with them (when I'm not like that in person), and I think it's because I use so many visual cues that I can't function as well socially without them.

What about you EJCC? Do you do this, too?

I dunno if online communication is awkward for me. Online friendships are awkward, though. I feel like I'm professing my deepest feelings to a computer screen And I agree that it would be awesome to meet TypeC people at some point, but I'm not at the point where that would be easy for me, yet. (Probably for reasons similar to Max's, since we're the same year in school - right? Sophomores? Correct me if I'm wrong.)

 

[Max]

Thanks, Max...awkward how?

I'm not sure if awkward was really the correct word I was looking for. Basically, there have been people I interact with online that I do very deeply care about... but it is somehow tough to express those feelings online, especially to someone I've never even met in person.

I dunno if online communication is awkward for me. Online friendships are awkward, though. I feel like I'm professing my deepest feelings to a computer screen And I agree that it would be awesome to meet TypeC people at some point, but I'm not at the point where that would be easy for me, yet. (Probably for reasons similar to Max's, since we're the same year in school - right? Sophomores? Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Yep, sophomore. And as much as I would love to get in the car and start driving over to another state right now to visit somebody, I want to really be prepared first with the money and the time. It would have to be over the summer, for two reasons; one, because I should get some time off from school, and two, because it is too cold for me in any part of the country other than where I live at any other time of year, plus, being a Floridian driver, I refuse to ever drive through snow... And I guess that is pretty ESTJ-style thinking, to make sure to meet objectives and be prepared like that before spontaneously jumping into anything.

 

[EJCC]

I'm not sure if awkward was really the correct word I was looking for. Basically, there have been people I interact with online that I do very deeply care about... but it is somehow tough to express those feelings online, especially to someone I've never even met in person.

Interesting. I actually feel the exact opposite about it. I find it much easier to open up online because I'm not talking to them in person.

Yep, sophomore. And as much as I would love to get in the car and start driving over to another state right now to visit somebody, I want to really be prepared first with the money and the time. It would have to be over the summer, for two reasons; one, because I should get some time off from school, and two, because it is too cold for me in any part of the country other than where I live at any other time of year, plus, being a Floridian driver, I refuse to ever drive through snow... And I guess that is pretty ESTJ-style thinking, to make sure to meet objectives and be prepared like that before spontaneously jumping into anything.

Definitely. I've had a similar thought process - not that I don't have experience driving in snow (because I do), but because I don't have experience driving in heavy traffic, or highways with more than three lanes. Just thinking about it freaks me out. I would want someone else in the car with me, to tell me what to do, and therefore ensure that I don't die on the way


Subject change: Someone asked, many many pages ago, why I joined the forum. I'm going to add to my previous answer, because I just found an XKCD comic that perfectly expresses why I joined:

 

[Redbone]

I also stink at maintaining long-distance relationships So unless the relationship was VERY close, it will probably die if I or the other person permanently moves away. But generally I am really good at scheduling times to meet in person, if I'm in the area I'm just bad at the long-distance part

It wouldn't surprise me, if it was an SJ thing. Maybe a Sensor thing. For me, long-distance communication almost doesn't feel real. I'd have to be talking to them in person or on the phone, for it to feel real. And even on the phone, it's awkward for me. I have this annoying tendency to accidentally interrupt people all the time when I'm the phone with them (when I'm not like that in person), and I think it's because I use so many visual cues that I can't function as well socially without them.

I dunno if online communication is awkward for me. Online friendships are awkward, though. I feel like I'm professing my deepest feelings to a computer screen And I agree that it would be awesome to meet TypeC people at some point, but I'm not at the point where that would be easy for me, yet. (Probably for reasons similar to Max's, since we're the same year in school - right? Sophomores? Correct me if I'm wrong.)

That's good because I was beginning to take it a little personally. Or maybe I'm thinking that an ESTJ, feelings translate into action. It seems like online communication/relationship is not action-oriented enough.
I may ask him a question in a message and he probably wonders, "Why is she asking me this? I don't have time for this now!" But when he calls (and this isn't very often), he just picks back up like there hasn't been a break. He also remembers everything I wrote to him, too (impressive in my book...I can't even begin to do this).

I think that it's just my weak Fe paranoia getting to me. I need to remember if he says he cares, then he just does...no second guessing the ESTJ.

P.S. I hope this was clear...very distracted. I'm supposed to be working on a project--not be here on TypoC!

 

[Max]

Interesting. I actually feel the exact opposite about it. I find it much easier to open up online because I'm not talking to them in person.

Hm. Maybe it's a lot more complicated than I thought. Now that I think about it, I don't really know if there's a significant difference for me in how difficult it is between opening up to people in person and online; maybe it just depends on the specific person and experience.

Definitely. I've had a similar thought process - not that I don't have experience driving in snow (because I do), but because I don't have experience driving in heavy traffic, or highways with more than three lanes. Just thinking about it freaks me out. I would want someone else in the car with me, to tell me what to do, and therefore ensure that I don't die on the way

Right- same general idea, just the details are different. For example, I prefer to go alone on long trips- that way, I can blast good music and drive like a maniac and not have to worry about passengers!

 

[Redbone]

ESTJs, what do you do when your feelings (yes--I know you have them) get the best of you and you say something totally inappropriate? Do you pretend that you never said a thing, say the other person was mistaken in the intent, and would act like it never even happened?



something I totally understand

 

[EJCC]

ESTJs, what do you do when your feelings (yes--I know you have them) get the best of you and you say something totally inappropriate? Do you pretend that you never said a thing, say the other person was mistaken in the intent, and would act like it never even happened?

I either pretend like nothing happened, or I awkwardly apologize - depending on whether or not I think I was justified in my reaction. If I'm really embarrassed and/or the person is upset with me, I'll apologize. But if I inappropriately blew up at someone who I really hated, I might not apologize at all But it's worth noting that I probably apologize 90% of the time.

something I totally understand

Ah, T-doms...

 

[EJCC]

A question for non-ESTJs:


.....

should I start a blog?

 

[Such Irony]

Yes, start a blog already! I enjoy your posts and writing style. If you had a blog, I'd definitely be following it.

 

[Athenian200]

.....

should I start a blog?

You're still here? And this thread is still active?

Yes, start a blog. Most people would have done so already.

You know, I left for a year, and so I expected to come back and find everything changed... a lot of things did, but you didn't.

That's one thing that's great about SJs... they don't tend to change too fast.

 

[EJCC]

Yes, start a blog already! I enjoy your posts and writing style. If you had a blog, I'd definitely be following it.

Excellent! Will do! Now I just need to figure out how to upload this massive video, and I need to figure out a blog title, and then I'll do it

You're still here? And this thread is still active?

Yes, start a blog. Most people would have done so already.

You know, I left for a year, and so I expected to come back and find everything changed... a lot of things did, but you didn't.

That's one thing that's great about SJs... they don't tend to change too fast.

... I'm not sure what to make of this. You mean "not changing", just in the sense that I'm still running this thread in much the same way, right? Cause I, in general, have changed insanely since I started this thread. And I'm glad I have!

I guess I just feel like I'm too young a person to gain a reputation for not changing as time passes

 

[Athenian200]

... I'm not sure what to make of this. You mean "not changing", just in the sense that I'm still running this thread in much the same way, right?

Yes, exactly.

Cause I, in general, have changed insanely since I started this thread. And I'm glad I have!

Really? Well, congratulations on that. It's always good to learn how to change things that aren't working for you. It's a valuable skill that many people don't possess.

I guess I just feel like I'm too young a person to gain a reputation for not changing as time passes

I'm sorry, I just assumed that being an SJ, you would take that as a compliment. Besides... I actually have that reputation already just from being strongly J. I do change in subtle ways that people aren't likely to notice... but in general, I still behave the same as I did 5 years ago. Same clothes, same habits, etc. Biggest change for me was that last year, I stopped drinking cola and started drinking water. Oh, and I took a trip to New York. Those are the only two things I can say were outside of my usual pattern of behavior.

 

[Max]

ESTJs, what do you do when your feelings (yes--I know you have them)

No we don't!!!!!!!

A question for non-ESTJs:


.....

should I start a blog?

Defini-

Oh, wait, that's right, I don't get a say...