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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #961
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I like ESTJ's. Do you think they would like ISFJs?


    I don't think I've ever met an ISFJ, but I like most people, unless they've proven themselves to be jerks.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  2. #962
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    Hi friends-
    Do you become interested in people for sexual relationships by falling for their brains first? For me, physical attraction is very much secondary to the mental connection that I have with a person. They could have four arms and three toes and I would probably be interested in them as long as they are on the same page as I am, mentally. I'm just wondering if this is an ESTJ commonality, or if it's just a quirk of mine.
    For me, I need to be sexually attracted to the person, and that's probably 75% mind and 25% body - so even though I really need to like the person in order to be sexually attracted to them (e.g. if someone is a total stud but also a douchebag, there goes the attraction), there's still a physical element in there. Which is annoying, because I'm mentally attracted to three or four guys, but they aren't physically attractive at all. OR... I'm both mentally and physically attracted to people, but they aren't manly. So, to answer your question... Yes. But as I mentioned before, the physical aspect can still make or break the deal, for me.
    Quote Originally Posted by soapninja View Post
    Just a side note - I've only had three serious relationships. Is it common for ESTJ's to be very picky/careful with who they get involved with?
    Absolutely! For me, at least. I don't even think of myself as that picky, though - I don't have long lists like some people, for required height or economic status or whatever else. I've long since accepted that if I overthink relationships, my love life won't go anywhere. So, the only things I'm even remotely picky about are:

    1. Same qualifications as with friends (especially niceness and trustworthiness),
    2. I must find them physically attractive; and
    3. They have to be manly. This is not a type-related trait, and it links directly with #2.

    But it's not like I have a list in mind when I meet guys. I never do. I just wait for that spark. If it doesn't come, then whatever. Otherwise...
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #963
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I like ESTJ's. Do you think they would like ISFJs?
    In my last story, I've got the ESTJ heroine fall in love with the ISFJ sidekick She admires his appearance and most of all his endurance. Of course, it took a very long time before the heroine realized she was indeed in love... Thinkers !
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  4. #964
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I agree with pretty much all of this. Does your ESTJ get sad if he spends too many days with nothing productive to do? I've come to the conclusion that ESTJs might be more ill-suited to retirement - or unemployment - than any other type...
    He always finds something productive... I'm actually more annoyed by his lazy periods. I always feel as he's bored and I should find something creative for him to do. But that's because I would be bored if I did the things he likes. So I've learnt to ask:
    "Say, would you like a game of (insert board game)/...?"
    And if he answers something like
    "I don't feel like doing something..."
    Then I know:
    "So I can write now?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    ESTJs -
    I revolt against your structured work/play dichotomy, for it is false and confining! GRRG!!
    Don't spend your energy on that. Let them keep their calendar toys.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  5. #965
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    I thought of an ESTJ anecdote this afternoon and I want to see if you guys relate.

    A couple of years ago I was visiting my INFP BFF in Washington DC. We went to Arlington National Cemetery. After a long day of walking, our feet hurt, and we ended up sitting in the Amphitheatre and talking for a long time.
    Arlington National Cemetery:: Visitor_Information

    On the way home on the Metro, we were talking about how beautiful the amphitheatre was. I started talking about how, yes, it was beautiful, but I was amazed by the vastness of it all, and I think that the beauty of it is in the details, like how much work it took to move all of that marble, the precision and the math involved in cutting all of those slabs of marble so that they would fit together into a perfect circle, and and and ZOMG ALL OF THE LOGICAL DETAILS.

    She looked at me and told me I was ruining the beauty of it! But in my mind, so much of the beauty is in the intricacy of the details. It's beautiful on its own, but thinking about the intricacy makes it even MORE beautiful.

    You know?
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  6. #966
    [bento boxed] EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    You know?
    All too well. I have plenty of similar anecdotes, especially when shopping or at museums or monuments or other things like that. It'll usually go like this:

    xNFx friend: "It's so beautiful..."
    Me: "... and look at the craftsmanship! Wow!"

    Even if I don't "appreciate beauty" like some people, I think I appreciate good craftsmanship more than anyone else I know. Even my "random comment" moments, despite being kind of stoner-like (despite my never having smoked pot in my life), are usually still like that. Example:

    Me: "I just had a random thought."
    Friend: "Yeah?"
    Me: "Have you ever thought about how complicated shoes are? I mean, pants and shirts are just pieces of fabric sewn together, but shoes have all these different materials, and you have to use really heavy-duty equipment to make them, and not even the most epic do-it-yourselfer that I know could ever consider making quality shoes. It's amazing when you think about it."
    Friend: "...... ..."
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #967
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    I thought of an ESTJ anecdote this afternoon and I want to see if you guys relate.

    A couple of years ago I was visiting my INFP BFF in Washington DC. We went to Arlington National Cemetery. After a long day of walking, our feet hurt, and we ended up sitting in the Amphitheatre and talking for a long time.
    Arlington National Cemetery:: Visitor_Information

    On the way home on the Metro, we were talking about how beautiful the amphitheatre was. I started talking about how, yes, it was beautiful, but I was amazed by the vastness of it all, and I think that the beauty of it is in the details, like how much work it took to move all of that marble, the precision and the math involved in cutting all of those slabs of marble so that they would fit together into a perfect circle, and and and ZOMG ALL OF THE LOGICAL DETAILS.

    She looked at me and told me I was ruining the beauty of it! But in my mind, so much of the beauty is in the intricacy of the details. It's beautiful on its own, but thinking about the intricacy makes it even MORE beautiful.

    You know?
    That's why sometimes I think that other people that look down on thinkers for not appreciating the warmth type of beauty feelers see are just narrow minded. What you and EJCC described is more in Te. As Te users, seeing something carefully put together using high level analysis and intellect is just wonderful to look at. It's a display of the potential of the connection between a man's mind and his environment. It's unavoidable and natural. That's why I love technology.

    To me, what strikes me as awe-inspiring is the japanese television and american adaptation communities. My example is Pokemon. It's a show that started 13 years ago in USA, 14 years ago originally in Japan. It airs in Japan and within 6 months, it is translated with American voice actors. There is an entire fanbase in Japan for the anime and the games, based on the Japanese culture. Then there's the fanbase in America for the American episodes or the Japanese originals.

    There is a constant correlation between the two countries for this franchise to have success. That doesn't include Europe and other continents with translations. What's going on in each country and the communication between each one is just amazing to me. I follow several websites and Pokemon as a franchise daily thanks to those sites. I become interested in the intricacies of the community at work.


  8. #968
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    This thread is so awesomely validating!

    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    That's why sometimes I think that other people that look down on thinkers for not appreciating the warmth type of beauty feelers see are just narrow minded. What you and EJCC described is more in Te. As Te users, seeing something carefully put together using high level analysis and intellect is just wonderful to look at. It's a display of the potential of the connection between a man's mind and his environment. It's unavoidable and natural. That's why I love technology.
    YESSSS. It's not that I don't get warm-fuzzy feelings from, like, sunsets or dogs or watching children play, but the things that really stun me with their beauty are the intricate things. And, yeah, technology boggles my mind, in a good way. Especially when you think about how rapidly it's improving, how rapidly it's improved in our lifetimes....


    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Me: "I just had a random thought."
    Friend: "Yeah?"
    Me: "Have you ever thought about how complicated shoes are? I mean, pants and shirts are just pieces of fabric sewn together, but shoes have all these different materials, and you have to use really heavy-duty equipment to make them, and not even the most epic do-it-yourselfer that I know could ever consider making quality shoes. It's amazing when you think about it."
    Friend: "...... ..."
    YESSSS TO THIS TOO. I have done this several times, but the one I remember most clearly was like "Dude, I have a HAND. And it's got BONES and SKIN and TENDONS and isn't that fucking AMAZING?" Also wasn't high at the time.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  9. #969
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    A couple of years ago I was visiting my INFP BFF in Washington DC. We went to Arlington National Cemetery
    Oooooh lucky you. I would love to go there. *sighs*
    When it's brought to my attention I can appreciate Te too.

    Please keep the ESTJ posts coming, y'all! This is great.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    In my last story, I've got the ESTJ heroine fall in love with the ISFJ sidekick She admires his appearance and most of all his endurance. Of course, it took a very long time before the heroine realized she was indeed in love... Thinkers !
    Hahaha sounds about right.

  10. #970
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Oooooh luck you. I would love to go there. *sighs*
    I hope you get a chance to go sometime. DC is lovely, and Arlington is so beautiful and peaceful.
    Last edited by sui generis; 07-10-2010 at 01:35 PM. Reason: spelling fail
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

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