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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #951
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by penny89 View Post
    How much of this (the bolded) is based on Si, do you think? Is it influenced greatly by input from society?
    Either way, it does clarify things for me with respect to the friend. Thanks again and sorry for all the questions .
    It's Si. That's a cornerstone trait for SJs. SJs look at the world in how it should be run. It's how they're using to doing things. This isn't always how the SJ does things, but standards that they have learned over their life or methods they have adopted from being outright told how to do something, e.g. a job's standards.

    Also, remember that being an SJ creates tunnel vision. Si is a function that stabilizes. It provides information from the past for the person to use their Extraverted Judgment to mold the present into how the SJ thinks it should be. You're using your two biggest functions, which mean the most to you, and both are about getting things done a certain way and doing things methodically, so stubbornness is to expected.


  2. #952
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    I've got to admit, all of the Fe Fi Fo Fum Si Ne Ni business kind of falls under the category of "that's too technical" in my opinion. My eyes glaze over.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  3. #953
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    It's probably a lot of Si, but I don't know enough about Si to be entirely sure. I know a lot about the extraverted functions, and I understand Ni enough to figure that it makes people practically psychic compared to a thick-headed ESTJ like me, but I don't quite get Si.
    It's understandable. Si is one of the more nebulous functions, at least as it is defined. It's basically recalling experienced details about the past. However, since we all do this to some degree, I find it easier to couple Si with Ne. So, maybe you recall a past experience and then hypothesize about where it had potential, or maybe you connect past experiences and notice trends and patterns. With Se and Ni, it's more like you're interpolating the present and then projecting a future outcome, and you don't rely on the past as an anchor.

    So, Si = anchor. It keeps you grounded in a safe zone if you know that particular recollection is desirable. The difficulty arises for many SJs when they can't distinguish safe from unsafe and just operate by past experience regardless.

    (hope this helps)

    I once knew an ESTJ who determined that she was evil because when she was little, she killed a fish as it was out of water just to subdue it. I found this hilarious, as it typifies the ESTJs impersonal approach to order and stability.

  4. #954
    Junior Member soapninja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    I've got to admit, all of the Fe Fi Fo Fum Si Ne Ni business kind of falls under the category of "that's too technical" in my opinion. My eyes glaze over.
    Agreed. I don't do technical speak.

    As far as time-wasting and boredom:
    I can't stand time-wasting. My boyfriend (INTP) likes to sleep in (til 11 or 12) and snuggle when he visits (he lives 100 miles away) and I have to get out of bed at a reasonable time or I feel useless/guilty for being lazy.

    I can't tell you the last time I felt bored. There is always something to do around the house, internets, shop, gardening, visit with friends/family, fantasize about my next Euro vacation, etc. etc.

    Wow. I wish I could learn to relax!

  5. #955
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    ESTJs -

    I revolt against your structured work/play dichotomy, for it is false and confining! GRRG!!
    Go take a bath, hippie
    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    It's Si. That's a cornerstone trait for SJs. SJs look at the world in how it should be run. It's how they're using to doing things. This isn't always how the SJ does things, but standards that they have learned over their life or methods they have adopted from being outright told how to do something, e.g. a job's standards.

    Also, remember that being an SJ creates tunnel vision. Si is a function that stabilizes. It provides information from the past for the person to use their Extraverted Judgment to mold the present into how the SJ thinks it should be. You're using your two biggest functions, which mean the most to you, and both are about getting things done a certain way and doing things methodically, so stubbornness is to expected.
    Absolutely. And I think introverted feeling has something to do with it too. Here's a relevant bit from an article I found somewhere describing introverted feelers -
    Although in these persons the will, under the direction of strong moral conviction, represents an important factor in the psyche, it is less evident than in the other rational types, owing to the fact that the controlling activity is directed more inwards, and will occasionally come quite unexpectedly to light. feeling is expressed more indirectly. It is most evident in the strong sense of duty characteristic of these people, and in their faithful discharge of their duties. Their activity frequently suffers as a result of moods of discouragement. When this is so, they lose themselves in pessimistic feelings, giving up their efforts to make themselves better understood, or to alter things in their environment. After a time they recover from such moods, since they tend, as a rule, to regard them as a fault in themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    It's understandable. Si is one of the more nebulous functions, at least as it is defined. It's basically recalling experienced details about the past. However, since we all do this to some degree, I find it easier to couple Si with Ne. So, maybe you recall a past experience and then hypothesize about where it had potential, or maybe you connect past experiences and notice trends and patterns. With Se and Ni, it's more like you're interpolating the present and then projecting a future outcome, and you don't rely on the past as an anchor.

    So, Si = anchor. It keeps you grounded in a safe zone if you know that particular recollection is desirable. The difficulty arises for many SJs when they can't distinguish safe from unsafe and just operate by past experience regardless.

    (hope this helps)
    It does help! Thanks Tater

    I once knew an ESTJ who determined that she was evil because when she was little, she killed a fish as it was out of water just to subdue it. I found this hilarious, as it typifies the ESTJs impersonal approach to order and stability.
    That's so sad!! I definitely relate. I was pretty much scarred for life after watching Toy Story 2 as a kid, because I didn't play with my toys very much, and I kept thinking about that flashback scene with Jessie. The resulting guilt was practically unbearable.
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  6. #956
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    It's Si. That's a cornerstone trait for SJs. SJs look at the world in how it should be run. It's how they're using to doing things. This isn't always how the SJ does things, but standards that they have learned over their life or methods they have adopted from being outright told how to do something, e.g. a job's standards.

    Also, remember that being an SJ creates tunnel vision. Si is a function that stabilizes. It provides information from the past for the person to use their Extraverted Judgment to mold the present into how the SJ thinks it should be. You're using your two biggest functions, which mean the most to you, and both are about getting things done a certain way and doing things methodically, so stubbornness is to expected.
    Thanks raz. This is really helpful. (And it confirms I'm not an ISFJ, so maybe I shouldn't have posted in the ISFJ thread haha)
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  7. #957
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Hi friends-
    Do you become interested in people for sexual relationships by falling for their brains first? For me, physical attraction is very much secondary to the mental connection that I have with a person. They could have four arms and three toes and I would probably be interested in them as long as they are on the same page as I am, mentally. I'm just wondering if this is an ESTJ commonality, or if it's just a quirk of mine.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  8. #958
    Junior Member soapninja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnestic View Post
    Hi friends-
    Do you become interested in people for sexual relationships by falling for their brains first? For me, physical attraction is very much secondary to the mental connection that I have with a person. They could have four arms and three toes and I would probably be interested in them as long as they are on the same page as I am, mentally. I'm just wondering if this is an ESTJ commonality, or if it's just a quirk of mine.
    Absolutely. I have to be involved with someone who is on the same intellectual level as I am, so I tend to get to know my significant other before they become my significant other. Then I start noticing how cute they are :-)

    Just a side note - I've only had three serious relationships. Is it common for ESTJ's to be very picky/careful with who they get involved with?

  9. #959
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soapninja View Post
    Absolutely. I have to be involved with someone who is on the same intellectual level as I am, so I tend to get to know my significant other before they become my significant other. Then I start noticing how cute they are :-)

    Just a side note - I've only had three serious relationships. Is it common for ESTJ's to be very picky/careful with who they get involved with?
    Ahh, I feel so validated!

    And, yeah, I'm super picky about who I get involved with sexually/romantically. My sexual "number" is way lower than most of my friends'. It's not that they're *not* choosy, it's that I'm *extraordinarily* choosy.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  10. #960
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I like ESTJ's. Do you think they would like ISFJs?

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