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Thread: Ask an ESTJ!

  1. #821
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Ok... does anyone else have questions, be they silly or serious?
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #822
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Silly questions on the "Ask an ESTJ" thread?

    Why did the ESTJ cross the road?
    Have you seen my Te? It's a small one, and I've lost it on the train together with my writing booklet. Oh, and more importantly: have you seen my writing booklet?

    Well, you asked for it...

    Seriously now. Yesterday I managed to not do everything I said I'd do; including getting the weeds in the garden under control, getting food,... and I even didn't have an excuse like "absorbed by writing" because I didn't write that much either. How do I get back into the grace of my ESTJ?
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
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  3. #823
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Silly questions on the "Ask an ESTJ" thread?

    Why did the ESTJ cross the road?
    To cross it off her To-Do list
    Have you seen my Te? It's a small one, and I've lost it on the train together with my writing booklet. Oh, and more importantly: have you seen my writing booklet?
    It's sitting up on top of your head, with your glasses that you've been missing, taking notes on everything being done "wrong"... Better get it quick before it starts to irritate people!
    Well, you asked for it...
    Yup, I did! And I'm glad I did Relaxing fluff can be a good thing.
    Seriously now. Yesterday I managed to not do everything I said I'd do; including getting the weeds in the garden under control, getting food,... and I even didn't have an excuse like "absorbed by writing" because I didn't write that much either. How do I get back into the grace of my ESTJ?
    Simple - get all that stuff done! As long as it gets done, it's okay if it's a day late. If I were your ESTJ, I wouldn't think it was a big deal. Getting it done late and seeming like you're very sorry would be enough, knowing that you're not the most organized type - after all, you're doing your best
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  4. #824
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    To cross it off her To-Do list
    That's actually one of the better "why cross road" jokes. Let's add it to the type jokes thread.

    It's sitting up on top of your head, with your glasses that you've been missing, taking notes on everything being done "wrong"... Better get it quick before it starts to irritate people!
    Thanks, but... glasses? I've never worn glasses! What is my Te doing with glasses?
    *puts Te back in head and gives imaginary glasses to Ne*

    Simple - get all that stuff done! As long as it gets done, it's okay if it's a day late. If I were your ESTJ, I wouldn't think it was a big deal. Getting it done late and seeming like you're very sorry would be enough, knowing that you're not the most organized type - after all, you're doing your best
    Yeah, sounds a good plan. Right now I'm finishing some course documents for my students, because tomorrow is the last day I can get copies at school without too much trouble. (See, you did find my Te!)
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
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  5. #825

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    hello EDCC,

    Does this sound correct-because you lead with Te, you will make a decision fairly quickly based upon what you know to be true-Si-rather than waiting for new input?

    How does this work in meetings when new ideas under discussion? I guess-how do you refrain from producing a decision before taking in all the data? Also how do you know if you may not have enough data?

    How would you deal with an Fe user he was not completing tasks and requirements? Would you confront them directly? Would you go to their manager? How would you track lack of performance to provide evidence?

    If you have to identify a person/group that is not meeting expectations, would you do so openly or go through a heirachal structure? If via the ordained hierchy, what if your efforts did not achieve resolution? Would you go to the next level-even if it meant skipping your boss?

    Thanks!!!

  6. #826
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Does this sound correct-because you lead with Te, you will make a decision fairly quickly based upon what you know to be true-Si-rather than waiting for new input?
    That sounds about right. I'll only wait for input if I'm uncertain. But if I'm certain, then I'll go right ahead and do it. I guess, generally, I only want just enough information to get the job done, and I don't want to waste time by gathering unnecessary information first. (This bugs me sometimes with the INTPs I know, but it also bugs the INTPs I know when I make decisions like that.)
    How does this work in meetings when new ideas under discussion? I guess-how do you refrain from producing a decision before taking in all the data? Also how do you know if you may not have enough data?
    I hate making decisions without enough information - specifically, without some sort of precedent. I freeze up and get very indecisive if I'm forced to make a decision and have no idea how it may have been made in the past. That's when I ask for advice, usually. But to answer your question more specifically, I feel like I have enough information when I feel like I'm capable of making an educated decision. Usually I'll make a decision off the minimum amount necessary, as I mentioned before, but in meetings, if someone were to protest and say that we don't have enough information yet, I wouldn't shut them down. I'd be exasperated, but I'd go along with it, because in the end, I do want the decision to be made in the best way possible. I'd just rather that the decision be quick, too, and without unnecessary chatter.
    How would you deal with an Fe user he was not completing tasks and requirements? Would you confront them directly? Would you go to their manager? How would you track lack of performance to provide evidence?
    Contrary to stereotypes, I don't always go the blunt, direct way first. In situations like these, where I might actually hurt someone's feelings, I usually go to someone with influence first - someone whose responsibility it is to keep these people in line. Oops! So scratch that first sentence - I'm still being blunt, but not with the person who's been doing the most wrong. I would probably go to their manager and say something like this: "Your employee, _____, hasn't been doing all the work that he/she was supposed to be doing. I have noticed that he/she, during work, has been playing computer games for hours each day - hours that we pay him/her for working! I wouldn't be butting in like this, but it's seriously getting in the way of productivity, and I thought you should know."
    I probably wouldn't provide evidence unless it was easy to access, because people know from as soon as they meet me that I'm honest and trustworthy, and when I've done things like that in the past, no one has questioned me.

    But that's only if I were an outside party. If I were the slacker's manager, it wouldn't matter what functions they used more prominently, since I generally confront everyone the same way, if they aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing. Although, if I think they're capable of taking blunter criticism, I'll do that, and I won't cushion it at all (as I usually do). Otherwise, I will probably have noticed that they're a little more sensitive, so even though I'll confront them directly, I'll be nicer about it.
    If you have to identify a person/group that is not meeting expectations, would you do so openly or go through a heirachal structure? If via the ordained hierchy, what if your efforts did not achieve resolution? Would you go to the next level-even if it meant skipping your boss?
    See above - I would go through the structure first. And if that didn't work, I would probably go directly to the person/group, since the higher up in the organization you go, the less likely people are to know or care about specific individuals in the lower ranks. But I'd still go higher if necessary, even if it meant bending (if not breaking) precedent.

    Those were great questions! Thanks!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #827
    inside the lines EJCC's Avatar
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    Question for other ESTJs: Do you ever get mad at people for making you upset? To clarify on what I mean by that, I'll give an example. If the TV isn't working, and someone I'm watching TV with gets openly worried/upset by that, I'll suddenly feel very angry at them, and I think it's because my subconscious is saying "Stop trying to make me worried by being worried! I want to stay safely objective!!!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Nørrsken impersonating EJCC
    It's strange. I keep banning morons, but they keep signing up? What is this?
    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #828
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I burst out laughing when I heard that. There is nothing I know of that bugs the ESTJs I know as much as someone around them being in turmoil or being upset. It upsets their world, thereby making it less predictable and it also makes them feel uncomfortable emotions that they would prefer not to experience, much less process. Initially the ESTJ response is kind of reassuring that "shhh, it's going to be alright" along with the "I'm taking care of things and I'm competent" vibe. Then you realize it's more because they are so uncomfortable with your discomfort and it sometimes can feel like they'd be happy just as long as you never express any of what's bothering you.

    How would you suggest a non-ESTJ best handle this unfortunate dynamic?

    I also remember my ESTJ expressing confusion over my response to a frustrating and hopeless feeling university situation over the only paper that was keeping me from getting my Master's. He could not understand sadness/dread/sick feelings as a response and said, "I get ANGRY when stuff like that happens and that fuels me to MAKE whatever needs to happen come about". Do you think that anger is perhaps a knee-jerk response to vulnerable emotions?

  9. #829
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Question for other ESTJs: Do you ever get mad at people for making you upset? To clarify on what I mean by that, I'll give an example. If the TV isn't working, and someone I'm watching TV with gets openly worried/upset by that, I'll suddenly feel very angry at them, and I think it's because my subconscious is saying "Stop trying to make me worried by being worried! I want to stay safely objective!!!"
    Being upset by the fact that you are upset? Yeah... I've known my husband saying "I'm so sorry for being emotional." - his uncle had died, but there he was worrying about upsetting me by being emotional and out of his normal doing.

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    How would you suggest a non-ESTJ best handle this unfortunate dynamic?
    Leave the ESTJ alone for a while, so that he can compose himself. After that, you can ask what's wrong, but not at the moment he's out his normal doing.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
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  10. #830
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I can see leaving the ESTJ alone when they are upset. (Although I've noticed that if it can't be resolved right away, this may lead to extended terseness and brooding alone). However, when someone else is the upset one and the ESTJ is just upset that they're upset, that's where it breaks down for me. Some things you can't just make go away, and sometimes you need to walk through the middle of something rather than going miles out of your way around it and pretending it's not there.

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